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Q: I Don't Know Anymore.
asked by:
OctoberBaby06
Extremely eHealthy
Any advice would be great
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Replies(35)
CaNdItAs CrAzY LaNd
Supporter
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AyaMiyaki
Especially eHealthy
I'm so sorry, Michelle I do think you should write a list of reasons why you're not happy - specific things that he's done that he can change (not things that he can't change), and sit him down and MAKE him listen to you. And ask him honestly if he thinks you two have a future. No one deserves to be miserable. He needs to know and UNDERSTAND that you're not happy and that you're feeling these things. If he cared about you and Kaylee at all, he wouldn't want you to feel that way.
PM me anytime hon
I do think you should write a list of reasons why you're not happy - specific things that he's done that he can change (not things that he can't change), and sit him down and MAKE him listen to you. And ask him honestly if he thinks you two have a future. No one deserves to be miserable. He needs to know and UNDERSTAND that you're not happy and that you're feeling these things. If he cared about you and Kaylee at all, he wouldn't want you to feel that way.
PM me anytime hon
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OctoberBaby06
Extremely eHealthy
Thanks you guys, I'm going to stop doing every little thing for him, maybe then he'll realize just how much I do & start respecting me.
I'm going to have to write him a letter letting him know how I feel because it's impossible to talk to him face to face. I'm scared to death though, that I'm going to write him the letter telling him everything, talk about all of it & then find a note the next day from him telling me it's over. That is how he broke up with the last time a few years ago. Left a note on my pillow.
I love him, I really do, we've been together forever. But the way he acts anymore makes me wonder if he loves me even the slightest bit
I think if it wasn't for Kaylee, I wouldn't be with him right now
I'm going to have to write him a letter letting him know how I feel because it's impossible to talk to him face to face. I'm scared to death though, that I'm going to write him the letter telling him everything, talk about all of it & then find a note the next day from him telling me it's over. That is how he broke up with the last time a few years ago. Left a note on my pillow.
I love him, I really do, we've been together forever. But the way he acts anymore makes me wonder if he loves me even the slightest bit
I think if it wasn't for Kaylee, I wouldn't be with him right now
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CaNdItAs CrAzY LaNd
Supporter
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PenguinsRus
Supporter
This must be so hard on you. I think making a list of things you do for him and showing him might be a good idea. Maybe, as you said, stop doing these things so he gets a taste of how much you care and do for him. That is terrible he broke up with you via note before
On a side not, if you really really aren't happy with him, and if you talk to him and try to fix it and it doesn't work, don't stay with him for the sake of Kaylee. It is understandable to want to have a stable mommy and daddy for her, but at the same time, if you do end up breaking up that doesn't mean he can't be in her life. He can still pay her visits and be a good daddy. If it somehow did get to court, the court usually rules in favor of the mother so you should be alright in that respect. Kaylee would probably be much happier with a separated mommy and daddy who both love her then seeing a mommy and daddy who fight or don't appreciate each other.
I really hope things work out for you. I know this must be so so so hard on you. Hang in there, and good luck. You're in my thoughts.
I think making a list of things you do for him and showing him might be a good idea. Maybe, as you said, stop doing these things so he gets a taste of how much you care and do for him. That is terrible he broke up with you via note before
On a side not, if you really really aren't happy with him, and if you talk to him and try to fix it and it doesn't work, don't stay with him for the sake of Kaylee. It is understandable to want to have a stable mommy and daddy for her, but at the same time, if you do end up breaking up that doesn't mean he can't be in her life. He can still pay her visits and be a good daddy. If it somehow did get to court, the court usually rules in favor of the mother so you should be alright in that respect. Kaylee would probably be much happier with a separated mommy and daddy who both love her then seeing a mommy and daddy who fight or don't appreciate each other.
I really hope things work out for you. I know this must be so so so hard on you. Hang in there, and good luck. You're in my thoughts.
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OctoberBaby06
Extremely eHealthy
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OctoberBaby06
Extremely eHealthy
| PenguinsRus wrote: |
| This must be so hard on you. I think making a list of things you do for him and showing him might be a good idea. Maybe, as you said, stop doing these things so he gets a taste of how much you care and do for him. That is terrible he broke up with you via note before
On a side not, if you really really aren't happy with him, and if you talk to him and try to fix it and it doesn't work, don't stay with him for the sake of Kaylee. It is understandable to want to have a stable mommy and daddy for her, but at the same time, if you do end up breaking up that doesn't mean he can't be in her life. He can still pay her visits and be a good daddy. If it somehow did get to court, the court usually rules in favor of the mother so you should be alright in that respect. Kaylee would probably be much happier with a separated mommy and daddy who both love her then seeing a mommy and daddy who fight or don't appreciate each other. I really hope things work out for you. I know this must be so so so hard on you. Hang in there, and good luck. You're in my thoughts. |
Thanks so much for the reply. You're absolutely right when you say Kaylee would be happier with separated parents than with parents who are together & don't get along. I grew up with my mom & dad fighting constantly & then when they split up it was my mom & her boyfriend doing the same thing. It's breaking my heart thinking about splitting our family up
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young Girl
Especially eHealthy
im sorry hun
it seems like alot of people have been feeling this wya on here lately it makes mesad to see you guys misreable. we may have had our differences on the whole stupid dog thing but i hope you know i dont take that personally at all and im here for you if you need someone to talk to ok?
it seems like alot of people have been feeling this wya on here lately
it makes mesad to see you guys misreable. we may have had our differences on the whole stupid dog thing but i hope you know i dont take that personally at all and im here for you if you need someone to talk to ok?
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OctoberBaby06
Extremely eHealthy
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PenguinsRus
Supporter
| OctoberBaby06 wrote: | ||
Thanks so much for the reply. You're absolutely right when you say Kaylee would be happier with separated parents than with parents who are together & don't get along. I grew up with my mom & dad fighting constantly & then when they split up it was my mom & her boyfriend doing the same thing. It's breaking my heart thinking about splitting our family up |
That is completely understandable. When you are with someone for so long and create a family together, it is hard to think about breaking it apart. Give it some time and sit down to think. Maybe you can make a list of the positives and negatives in the relationship so you can sort out in your mind if you really think it is worth it. At the same time, that list might be good to show to him. That way you won't hit him with all bad things like "you do this wrong" "I wish you did this" etc, but he will also have some good to balance it. It might make your concerns about the relationship seem like less of a fight and attack, and more like a true concern and he'll know he's appreciated but there is a lot he has to work on.
If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to PM me anytime.
Just remember that if it comes down to it in the end, as long as you listen to your heart you are making the right decision. You must do what is best for you and your daughter and have faith in yourself and know that everything will turn out alright in the end, even if it is really hard.
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OctoberBaby06
Extremely eHealthy
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Katrinadoodle
Extremely eHealthy
I really can't give you any advice, because I haven't been there.
I'm just wishing you the best.
I'm just wishing you the best.
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young Girl
Especially eHealthy
sorry i just reread your post and the whole thing with the 16 yr old porn angers me off really bad
thats horrible
michelle i hope to god he realizes before its too late what hes doing because if i were you and he doesnt straighten his sh*% up then you gotta do what you gotta do for your baby and yourself. if it comes down to leaving that may be the best thing in the end if hes not willing to change
im sorry but the porn 16 yr old thing just sets off a big red flashing light to me and makes me really mad.
i cant imajine how you feel
im sorry you gotta go through this but YOU and kaylee deserve respect and that is NOT respect
thats horrible
michelle i hope to god he realizes before its too late what hes doing because if i were you and he doesnt straighten his sh*% up then you gotta do what you gotta do for your baby and yourself. if it comes down to leaving that may be the best thing in the end if hes not willing to change
im sorry but the porn 16 yr old thing just sets off a big red flashing light to me and makes me really mad.
i cant imajine how you feel
im sorry you gotta go through this but YOU and kaylee deserve respect and that is NOT respect
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Mommy35
Extremely eHealthy
Relationships take work and lots of couples go through little rough patches. You two have recently got into your own place and I'm sure that is causing stress in your relationship. Money has a way of doing that
I think a list is a great idea. When you approach him be calm and try not to act like you are angry.
I would stop doing everything for him, cause it seems like he is taking you for granted.
Let him know exactly how you are feeling and that you are considering leaving if things don't improve. Maybe you could find a part time job to get you out of the house. You'll meet new people and get a break from home for awhile.
I grew up in a home with two parents who never did anything together besides argue and it was a real downer. Kaylee does deserve better than that.
The porn thing is a bit strange, but lots of men look at porn and never go any further than that.
Good luck to you Michelle!
I think a list is a great idea. When you approach him be calm and try not to act like you are angry.
I would stop doing everything for him, cause it seems like he is taking you for granted.
Let him know exactly how you are feeling and that you are considering leaving if things don't improve. Maybe you could find a part time job to get you out of the house. You'll meet new people and get a break from home for awhile.
I grew up in a home with two parents who never did anything together besides argue and it was a real downer. Kaylee does deserve better than that.
The porn thing is a bit strange, but lots of men look at porn and never go any further than that.
Good luck to you Michelle!
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Bridget
Especially eHealthy
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CaNdItAs CrAzY LaNd
Supporter
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oh_mommy
Supporter
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CaNdItAs CrAzY LaNd
Supporter
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