I've been really thinking lately & I
don't know if I am truly happy with Shane
anymore. It's been in the back of my mind
for a while now, but it's getting worse. I
don't feel like I am loved. Or wanted.
& most of all appreciated. I feel like
he's making excuses for not getting
engaged because he really doesn't want to
be with me for the rest our lives. I don't
get the little hugs & kisses, he
doesn't even tell me he loves me unless I
say it first, & then he'll respond by
saying "I love you more". Every single
time. We very rarely have decent
conversations anymore. The only time we
can talk decent without him making nasty
comments & just having an attitude
altogether is when we're in the car. He
makes me feel like crap, all the time. I
never get compliments from him, when I'm
all the time telling him he looks cute.
All this started when he got his new job
& now it's like he's a big macho money
maker that is too good for me. He's still
to this day telling me I over reacted
about Duke biting Kaylee. I am trying to
break Kaylee from the binky & I hide
it from her during the day.. Well
everytime she starts fussing he finds the
binky & corks her, thinking it's going
to quiet her right down. I don't know what
to do. I'm tired of feeling like I'm
nothing & that this relationship is
going absolutely nowhere. I'm tired of
feeling like he's only with me because of
Kaylee. I can't leave, I have nowhere to
go.. No car.. No job. No money whatsoever
saved anywhere. & if I left he'd fight
me for Kaylee. That's the thing I'm scared
of most. I want to keep my family together
more than anything but what good is it
going to do Kaylee to grow up seeing her
Mommy & Daddy never showing affection
toward each other & Daddy always
making Mommy feel bad about everything? I
can't talk to him,, I've tried. He just
thinks I'm trying to start a fight. &
then on top of all of this, I was going
through my limewire the other day because
I was getting ready to burn a new CD..
Well I was scrolling down through &
found something about a 16 year old, I
don't remember exactly what it was called
but it was definately porn. What do I do
about that? I told him I found it & he
denied downloading it of course & said
that he never even gets into limewire. But
the other day when I came home, he had
limewire opened & I asked him if he
downloaded any new music & he said no,
he didn't download anything. I told him
I'm sure as hell not looking at naked 16
year olds online so I know it was him
& he pretty much admitted it. That's
exactly the kind of crap that makes me
feel just worthless. He loves girls who
have a teeny tiny little frame, I've NEVER
been that girl & never will be. I have
wide hips, love handles, you name it. I
can't even tell you the last time we had
sex & I let him see my body. This is
all just wearing down on me. Kaylee
deserves to see her Mommy & Daddy
happy but I don't know what to do anymore.
I'm nothing but good to him. I take care
of Kaylee, clean the house, have dinner
ready for him, I get his clothes out &
ready for work for him. I do everything
for him. I even pack his lunches. &
what do I get? Not even a thank you or I
love you. Sorry I'm jumping around from
topic to topic.. I needed to get this off
my chest though, I feel like I'm going to
break any second. I'm just tired of
pretending I'm happy & I'm not sure at
all that I am Any advice would be
great
for one stop doing everything for him he
is a so called man and can do it himself
stop telling him how good he looks
and give him a deadline on when you want
to get engaged and leave him a letter then
talking out all of your concerns im sorry
you are going thru this hun its not fair
you are a sweet person and a good mom and
you are verry pretty to boot.
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AyaMiyaki
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 8338 Location: Floating on a cloud, United States
Thanks: 185
Thanked:15
Posted: 11-19-07 19:00pm
I'm so sorry, Michelle I do think you
should write a list of reasons why you're
not happy - specific things that he's done
that he can change (not things that he
can't change), and sit him down and MAKE
him listen to you. And ask him honestly if
he thinks you two have a future. No one
deserves to be miserable. He needs to know
and UNDERSTAND that you're not happy and
that you're feeling these things. If he
cared about you and Kaylee at all, he
wouldn't want you to feel that way.
PM me anytime hon
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OctoberBaby06
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Joined: 02 Dec 2006 Posts: 4617 Location: , US
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Posted: 11-19-07 19:07pm
Thanks you guys, I'm going to stop doing
every little thing for him, maybe then
he'll realize just how much I do &
start respecting me.
I'm going to have to write him a letter
letting him know how I feel because it's
impossible to talk to him face to face.
I'm scared to death though, that I'm going
to write him the letter telling him
everything, talk about all of it &
then find a note the next day from him
telling me it's over. That is how he broke
up with the last time a few years ago.
Left a note on my pillow.
I love him, I really do, we've been
together forever. But the way he acts
anymore makes me wonder if he loves me
even the slightest bit
I think if it wasn't for Kaylee, I
wouldn't be with him right now
if he leaves then he wont reall;y get
custody of your daughter but red flags go
up when you mentioned 16yr olds porn wow
hun thats bad.
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PenguinsRus
Supporter
Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 1224 Location: New York, NY United States
Thanks: 30
Thanked:8
Posted: 11-19-07 19:20pm
This must be so hard on you. I think making a
list of things you do for him and showing
him might be a good idea. Maybe, as you
said, stop doing these things so he gets a
taste of how much you care and do for him.
That is terrible he broke up with you via
note before
On a side not, if you really really aren't
happy with him, and if you talk to him and
try to fix it and it doesn't work, don't
stay with him for the sake of Kaylee. It
is understandable to want to have a stable
mommy and daddy for her, but at the same
time, if you do end up breaking up that
doesn't mean he can't be in her life. He
can still pay her visits and be a good
daddy. If it somehow did get to court,
the court usually rules in favor of the
mother so you should be alright in that
respect. Kaylee would probably be much
happier with a separated mommy and daddy
who both love her then seeing a mommy and
daddy who fight or don't appreciate each
other.
I really hope things work out for you. I
know this must be so so so hard on you.
Hang in there, and good luck. You're in
my thoughts.
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OctoberBaby06
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2006 Posts: 4617 Location: , US
Thanks: 3
Thanked:2
Posted: 11-19-07 19:28pm
lonelyangel
wrote:
if he leaves then he wont
reall;y get custody of your daughter but
red flags go up when you mentioned 16yr
olds porn wow hun thats
bad.
He's always had a "thing" for younger
girls but this is the first time since I
got pregnant that I've found anything like
this. I even joke around with him about
porn & say I won't be mad if he lets
me watch it with him, but he still sneaks
around to see it apparently.
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OctoberBaby06
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2006 Posts: 4617 Location: , US
Thanks: 3
Thanked:2
Posted: 11-19-07 19:30pm
PenguinsRus
wrote:
This must be so hard on you.
I think making a
list of things you do for him and showing
him might be a good idea. Maybe, as you
said, stop doing these things so he gets a
taste of how much you care and do for him.
That is terrible he broke up with you via
note before
On a side not, if you really really aren't
happy with him, and if you talk to him and
try to fix it and it doesn't work, don't
stay with him for the sake of Kaylee. It
is understandable to want to have a stable
mommy and daddy for her, but at the same
time, if you do end up breaking up that
doesn't mean he can't be in her life. He
can still pay her visits and be a good
daddy. If it somehow did get to court,
the court usually rules in favor of the
mother so you should be alright in that
respect. Kaylee would probably be much
happier with a separated mommy and daddy
who both love her then seeing a mommy and
daddy who fight or don't appreciate each
other.
I really hope things work out for you. I
know this must be so so so hard on you.
Hang in there, and good luck. You're in
my thoughts.
Thanks so much for the reply. You're
absolutely right when you say Kaylee would
be happier with separated parents than
with parents who are together & don't
get along. I grew up with my mom & dad
fighting constantly & then when they
split up it was my mom & her boyfriend
doing the same thing. It's breaking my
heart thinking about splitting our family
up
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 11-19-07 19:30pm
im sorry hun
it seems like alot of people have been
feeling this wya on here lately it makes mesad to
see you guys misreable. we may have had
our differences on the whole stupid dog
thing but i hope you know i dont take that
personally at all and im here for you if
you need someone to talk to ok?
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OctoberBaby06
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2006 Posts: 4617 Location: , US
Thanks: 3
Thanked:2
Posted: 11-19-07 19:31pm
Thanks Suzy, I appreciate that!
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PenguinsRus
Supporter
Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 1224 Location: New York, NY United States
Thanks: 30
Thanked:8
Posted: 11-19-07 19:36pm
OctoberBaby06
wrote:
PenguinsRus
wrote:
This must be so hard on you.
I think making a
list of things you do for him and showing
him might be a good idea. Maybe, as you
said, stop doing these things so he gets a
taste of how much you care and do for him.
That is terrible he broke up with you via
note before
On a side not, if you really really aren't
happy with him, and if you talk to him and
try to fix it and it doesn't work, don't
stay with him for the sake of Kaylee. It
is understandable to want to have a stable
mommy and daddy for her, but at the same
time, if you do end up breaking up that
doesn't mean he can't be in her life. He
can still pay her visits and be a good
daddy. If it somehow did get to court,
the court usually rules in favor of the
mother so you should be alright in that
respect. Kaylee would probably be much
happier with a separated mommy and daddy
who both love her then seeing a mommy and
daddy who fight or don't appreciate each
other.
I really hope things work out for you. I
know this must be so so so hard on you.
Hang in there, and good luck. You're in
my thoughts.
Thanks so much for the reply. You're
absolutely right when you say Kaylee would
be happier with separated parents than
with parents who are together & don't
get along. I grew up with my mom & dad
fighting constantly & then when they
split up it was my mom & her boyfriend
doing the same thing. It's breaking my
heart thinking about splitting our family
up
That is completely understandable. When
you are with someone for so long and
create a family together, it is hard to
think about breaking it apart. Give it
some time and sit down to think. Maybe
you can make a list of the positives and
negatives in the relationship so you can
sort out in your mind if you really think
it is worth it. At the same time, that
list might be good to show to him. That
way you won't hit him with all bad things
like "you do this wrong" "I wish you did
this" etc, but he will also have some good
to balance it. It might make your
concerns about the relationship seem like
less of a fight and attack, and more like
a true concern and he'll know he's
appreciated but there is a lot he has to
work on.
If you need anyone to talk to, feel free
to PM me anytime.
Just remember that if it comes down to it
in the end, as long as you listen to your
heart you are making the right decision.
You must do what is best for you and your
daughter and have faith in yourself and
know that everything will turn out alright
in the end, even if it is really hard.
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OctoberBaby06
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2006 Posts: 4617 Location: , US
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Posted: 11-19-07 19:40pm
Thanks so much, I'm going to make some
lists & bring them up to him. I hope
that if he sees he's really hurting me
he'll wake up & realize what he's
doing & what he's about to lose if he
doesn't straighten up.
|
Katrinadoodle
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2007 Posts: 1231
Posted: 11-19-07 19:48pm
I really can't give you any advice,
because I haven't been there.
I'm just wishing you the best.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Thanked:0
Posted: 11-19-07 19:53pm
sorry i just reread your post and the
whole thing with the 16 yr old porn angers
me off really bad
thats horrible
michelle i hope to god he realizes before
its too late what hes doing because if i
were you and he doesnt straighten his sh*%
up then you gotta do what you gotta do for
your baby and yourself. if it comes down
to leaving that may be the best thing in
the end if hes not willing to change
im sorry but the porn 16 yr old thing just
sets off a big red flashing light to me
and makes me really mad.
i cant imajine how you feel
im sorry you gotta go through this but YOU
and kaylee deserve respect and that is NOT
respect
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 11-19-07 20:10pm
Relationships take work and lots of
couples go through little rough patches.
You two have recently got into your own
place and I'm sure that is causing stress
in your relationship. Money has a way of
doing that
I think a list is a great idea. When you
approach him be calm and try not to act
like you are angry.
I would stop doing everything for him,
cause it seems like he is taking you for
granted.
Let him know exactly how you are feeling
and that you are considering leaving if
things don't improve. Maybe you could
find a part time job to get you out of the
house. You'll meet new people and get a
break from home for awhile.
I grew up in a home with two parents who
never did anything together besides argue
and it was a real downer. Kaylee does
deserve better than that.
The porn thing is a bit strange, but lots
of men look at porn and never go any
further than that.
Good luck to you Michelle!
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Bridget
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 10821 Location: ,
Thanks: 62
Thanked:42
Posted: 11-19-07 20:13pm
i'm sorry, michelle. i really hope
everything works out. you deserve to be
happy!!
my dh and i watch porn off of the internet
on a free site i watch it by myself when
hes not home but im also on the phone with
him at the same time but we never do it
behind each others back esp kiddie porn
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oh_mommy
Supporter
Joined: 04 Sep 2005 Posts: 3730 Location: vancouver island, bc canada
Thanks: 5
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Posted: 11-19-07 20:22pm
to be competly honest i've been feeling
the same way, but for me it comes and
goes... sometimes i feel like we use to,
others i feel like if it wasnt for reese
we wouldnt be togeather. I also think
shawns just making excuses not to get
engaged also, hes had plently of chances
to buy nice cheap rings. like one time i
seen one i liked on sale for 80$ down from
280$ but he didnt buy it.
Has your man actually had chances to go
out (and afford) to buy you a ring? does
he think you want an expensive ring?
well if he is mr big money man now then he
should be able to get you a ring then huh.
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mommy_2_dallas0813
Supporter
Joined: 26 Oct 2007 Posts: 412 Location: Ohio,
Posted: 11-19-07 20:53pm
Wow, Michelle I read this post and it
reminded me of my relationship A LOT,
minus a few things! PM me and we can talk,
you just described my relationship in a
nutshell...
Any advice would be
great 
