How old are you? Just because you fantasize about something, that doesn't mean you want it. Everyone, and I mean everyone has homosexual dreams. It doesn't make you gay, it makes you human. Haven't had an orgasm? That's okay. It took me six years to have my first one. My mother will be 56 in october, she still hasn't had an orgasm. Do you want to test it? Well, have you ever had a crush on the same sex? That is have you had that anxiety ridden feeling in the pit of your stomach whenever you see that "special someone?" if the answer is no, then you are not gay. If the answer is "yes" then you are gay. If it yes to both sexes, then you are bisexual. By the way, it sounds like you don't like sex very much. If you don't like it you don't have to do it.

I want to thank you for that reply. By the way i'm just seventeen. I'll take your advice.

So have you ever tried the opposite sex? It's not as gross at it may sound. I am married and enjoy having sex with my husband. I have always had fantasies of being with other girls. Ever since I was a child, but I sure wasn't about to tell anyone. Thanks to all the gay and lesbian uprising and finding other friends who thought the same as me, helped me to discover that I am bi. And it is possible to like them both. Not saying that that is you, just saying, it's your body. Sex shouldn't be embarassing and you should please yourself the way you want. And further more. My best friend dated guys, she is 22, for years and suddenly found her interest was in women. Now she is happily with her significant other, a woman and in love and braggs about the best sex ever all the time, i'm getting jealous

I'm a christian, and no offence to anyone out there, but I beleive that homosexuality is wrong. Latley, however, i've been having dreams about girls and stuff. You know what I mean. Maybe it's the college atmosphere or something, but it's like I don't even dream about guys anymore. I've never had feelings for a girl, but i'm scared that when I do get close to guy this could be a problem. Help!

Lady's you are all very normal, it is part of life and you should follow your urges, I had the same problem and my friend of many years wanted to experiment so we did and it was great for us we are still friends and I am glad I did because I learned alot about myself that haveing sex with a man could have never taught me. :d so have fun with it life is to short not to experiance everything you can. And trust me it is not all that bad.

I don't know how crissy is doing, but that put my mind at ease. If I ever do try it i'll let you know

Hi crissy (and everyone else) - I think its awesome that you have the courage at your age to go out and look for information and advice about what you are feeling and experiencing instead of keeping it inside and being ashamed. I am 25 and am bi. Up until I was 19 I had only been with guys. Then I met a wonderful girl and I totally fell in love with her. It wasn't something I had planned or expected but it happened and it was wonderful. She and I stayed together for four years. After our relationship ended I was with another girl I fell in love with for the next two years. That relationship ended 4 months ago and now I am seeing a guy. It took me up until 2 months ago to admit to my parents that I like girls as well as guys. My parents are accepting - my mom isn't pleased but doesn't treat me or the people I am with any different. Some of my friends know, some don't.



Even though I was happily in love with the people I was with, I was still confused and constantly beat myself up over whether what I was doing was right or not. In the last few months I have come to the realization that I have to do what makes me happy. No longer can I do things or not do things just to make other people happy. I have to do what I want to do and what makes me happy. Ultimately the only person we have to please is ourselves. With that in mind, I then came to the realization that I am not going to choose between guys or girls. Whomever comes my way, that can make me happy, make me laugh, make me feel safe and warm and most importantly can make me feel loved and will let me do the same to them is who I am going to spend my life with. If that happens to be a girl, then that is who I will be with. If it happens to be a guy, then that's fine too.

Just find whatever makes you happy. Its not always going to be easy no matter who you are with. If you (or anyone else) wants someone to talk to who has been through it - feel free to pm me: good luck - find your happiness

I was once married and "giving" person towards guys. I grew up in a christian environment and my family has always taught me that is was a sin. I went on vacation to dominican republic to meet guys and get a latin lover, I found the love of my life, my other half and it was a girl. I was so confused, scared, happy, sad, everything at once. I always wanted to get butterflies but I never thought it would be a girl. We have been through a lot cause our culture accepts these things a lot better than hers. We are dealing with it together and if I have to i'll move to italy to be with her in peace. She made me see that it's not right and wrong it's all about being happy in this one chance that we are given.

Psychologists will tell you that the response of being panicked about being gay due to homosexual fantasies or homosexual dreams is quite common.
If it didn't cause such terrible panic it would also be quite funny.
Thinking rationally about it, if you're completely panicked that you might be gay after a homosexual fantasy or dream then chances are that you're not gay. Or at least that's the most common psychological viewpoint.

Hi you guys, well firstly I have a question for anyone k. Why is being bi such a big problem in a little county, but it's not whenever your in a city? That's my problem i'm in a little county and no offense to red-necks, but my town is full of them. They are the main ones that make a big deal out of it and I didn't say anything to them or anyone else about me. Anyways, I read most of the reply and chick listen it's seriously ok to think about girls, and don't put up a fence saying that you don't want to think like that. But you never know maybe in the future you might start to actually like girls. That sounds ludacris but trust me about this and girl just let go of everything and don't really try to think about it that much cause the more think about it the more your gonna drive yourself crazy. So i've gtg and to the guy that is a christian. I'm one too, but religion is built upon faith and I believe that you should like whoever or what ever you want. Plus, don't be afraid to like another guy, we cannot help who we are. Cause we are who we are and there's nothing that we can do to change that. And i'm not downing you either about the religion thing, but I do understand where you and everyone else is coming from.

I'm happly married I have been with my husband for 4 years now and we been married for 1. I have always dreamed about being with a girl to know how it feels and to do something different. Well about a 6 months ago I was with a girl and it was get but i'm not gay. Just b/c you dream about stuff are wonder about it don't make you gay. You only live life once and why not enjoy it if you don't want to be with just a girl bring a guy in there with ya'll have fun with it and never second guess yourself .P.S. My husband join me and the other girl and he really loved that

I am 18 years old and im in a relationship w/ a guy who I like a lot.. . But ive tried things with girls in the past. It was basically all in fun and was just sexual attraction.. I never liked them like I have feelings for a guy.. But hey I see nothin wrong with it, experiences with girls (friends of mine) were very fun. Ive also had a threesome twice and that was fun too (didnt have sex w/ the guy tho, just other stuff)

Im a guy as you can tell by my handle but I dont have any tendencies toward homosexuality. In fact, guys are a total turn off to me. When I am in the
mens urinal, I make extra sure I dont even accidentally glance at another dude pissing....

I think though that homosexuality is something that should not be looked down upon. After all, it is god who has created homosexuals too. How can we hate someone that god created?

On a financial note, there is a company called triangle multimedia ltd. (symbol qbid) thats going to come out with a gay cable channel.
Buy a million shares now and get rich !!!

Take care all.

I think you are very mature for your age. To understand and ask such questions is impressive. Most girls at your age are experience a sexual confusion. It is so normal. Girls are beautiful and it is normal to think about them. We compare ourselves to each other and is natural for women to hug, kiss and touch each other so it would be natural to dream of them. For women, we get out sexual cues from one another. This has nothing to do with sin or what is right and wrong. It is just how it is .

This is a confusing time in your life, so be carefull how you handle you sexuality. It is easy to get hurt and let people take advantage of you. Your body is precious and only you should decide how and when to experience sex. Good luck.

I have the same problem that she does! When I have sex with my boyfriend, it really doesnt do much for me...But if im doin ummm stuff to myself, I always fantasize about girls! And its like really confusing cuz thats never happened to me before! I used to always think about guys and everything but just recently when I think about girls, the orgasm always happens sooner and is better...Does that mean im bi tho? Cuz I really wouldnt ever think about dating a girl or anything, maybe just fooling around, and I love being around guys too tho, and theyre the only ones I would ever consider dating....Wow im really confuzed now!

I have to say that I am very impressed with the responses in this thread. Some really good advice given. Just to reinforce what has been said already (and for babiikissezzxo...)

there is nothing wrong with these thoughts or dreams, they are perfectly normal. The issue with your boyfriend not arousing you though, that's mental...Not physical. This does not mean you are bi-sexual... However the fact that you're asking tells me that you are bi-curious. The truth is, you will never know 100% unless you experience and find out.

Floridagirl's advice is right on the money. "...I then came to the realization that I am not going to choose between guys or girls. Whomever comes my way, that can make me happy, make me laugh, make me feel safe and warm and most importantly can make me feel loved and will let me do the same to them is who I am going to spend my life with. If that happens to be a girl, then that is who I will be with. If it happens to be a guy, then that's fine too."

good luck,
justin

Do not panic, you are not gay. You are affected by Same Sex Attraction which, with a little assistance, is a situation that can be fixed. Therefore, you can lead a normal life.Get married, have kids, get along with your parents, continue your education, and not spend all your free time trying to convince yourself and society your strange behavior is normal.

Here are some suggestions:
1. Stay away from PFLAG, GLSN, and gay affirming organizations. They have a political agenda which does not include your healing from unwanted Same Set Attraction.
2. If you are seeing a gay affirming therapist that has been brainwashed into believing homosexuality is normal and may be treating your for the non-existent condition of INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA, fire them and try to get your money back.
3. Everyone out there with a child, grandchild, niece, nephew or just a kid they care about needs spend some time to investigating, learning, and understanding unwanted SAME SEX ATTRACTION. Search it exactly that way on the internet because if you search under gay or homosexual, typically all you get is propaganda trying to get you to buy into a political agenda.
4. Always remember, no child, especially you was ever born "gay". G-d did not take the day off when you were born to go shoot pool or play golf..
5. My friend, there is no shame in believing a lie until you have taken the time to learn the truth.
6. Encourage your libraries and schools to end their involvement with censorship which has been keeping helpful information out of reach for years.
7. Overcoming Same Sex Attraction is awarded with a new life. Free o drugs, alcohol, sexual abuse, negativity, shame, and fear. Never buy into this political correctness garbage that people can not change. They do it all the time.

Hope this was helpful. Share this information with your questioning friends.

G-d bless you.

Hey girls and boys as well. There seems to be a lot of confusion going on about orientation. Let me lay some groundwork here. Gay people engage in sex only with persons of their own gender. Straight people engage in sex only with the opposite gender. Bisexual people engage in sex with both genders. If you are not sexually active you do not have a sexual preference, however if you are sexually attracted to one of both genders you may have an inclination towards one preference or another. Feeling an anxious knot in the pit of your stomach when you think about someone of the same gender doesn't make you gay, participating in sexual activity with them does. You can absolutely be attracted to someone without having a intense uncomfortable reaction to being around them. If you feel sexual arousal when you fantasize about sex with someone of your gender then it's a strong indicator that you may not be straight. You'll have to explore those feelings and judge your own response.

As for JoseShwartz, I can't even get into how wrong his thinking is. All I can say is God bless you too sir.