Pregnancy Community Chat Forum - Don't Know What to Do....

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Q: Don't Know What to Do....

asked by: Becky on November 17th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

I really don't know what I am doing with my life anymore. I had everything set out that I was going to have another baby and marry Robbie but now that he is away doubts are setting in. I have established a routine now without him around and i honestly don't know if I want him back.

The kids have been waking up every night 4-5 times and I am emotionally exhausted but some how I feel happy that my home is MINE and i have a routine that isn't interuppted by someone throwing their clothes on the floor or laeaving their laptop lying around.

The worst part is that I get so lonely. My friends work during the day so I have no one to talk to. I love my kids so much but they can't offer me adult conversation. I feel like I am stuck in a rut of doing the same thing day in, day out.

I feel like I'd like to get a job that isn't from home. Logan will be joining Layla in nursery in January and i'm wondering if now is the right time. When I think of having another baby I have doubts and they say if you have doubts then you shouldn't do it.

I hate the evenings when i put the kids to bed cause then i just sit there. I am bored with the internet (although I love you girls) and there is never anything on television so it really sinks in that I am all alone.

I really don't know what to do. I know that I feel released from not having Robbie living here and the truth is, I'm not missing him like I thought I would.

Sorry this is so long.

Any replies would be greatly appreciated.

Replies(11)

sick_mama17

replied on November 17th, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

I know what you mean, I feel like that sometimes, like im stuck and dont know what to do or how to change things, or even what exactly I want to change.

Tbh I dont think you should have another child right now, soon logan and layla will both be in nursery so it will be easier for you to go after something for yourself. Didnt you want to be a widwife? You should go for it! I know it will be hard because you have been a mum for a while and not done studying, so its going to be difficult to get used to it again, but you'll meet people there who are interested in the same things you are. So you'll have more friends, be studying something you enjoy, gaining qualifications for your future and will end up doing a job you love that pays well. You will have acomplished something for yourself and that will make you feel good.

Having another child will tie you down even more. Do something for YOU instead, it will be interesting and different. You're young, you can have more kids later if you want them.

Becky

replied on November 17th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

thanks. i really appreciate your advise. I have decided to get my coil put back in. i really wish i'd never had it out in t e first place. I will have to go to my GP now to have it back in which will take a few weeks.

I wanted to do midwifery but it's too long hours and it wouldn't be fair on the kids. I think I'm just going to look for a job within my field. It'll be scary though actually being face to face with a team and employer

sick_mama17

replied on November 17th, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

Yeah but everything in life is scary, you have to try to face it or you never get anywhere...I need to take that advice too lol
Whats your field of work?
Might be good to work in a school because then you will be home most of the time your kids are, and you get all the school holidays off to be with them too.

Becky

replied on November 17th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

I am work in Digital Media, I create adverts for local magazines. I would love to work in a school but I don't know how i'd go about getting qualified or applying

Emma2

replied on November 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

You know what dear, you need to be back the BC. I don't think you should anything at the moment. You are having some serious doubts and sometimes those are usually a great hint.

take your time with robbie , you have two small children and there is absolutely no rush to have another, you are young, successful and gorgeous. There is plenty of time for another later . take care of your wants and needs before .

michelle1981

replied on November 17th, 2007

Supporter

Damn, i posted here... where did it go???

Lets try this again....

I agree with Nancy ^

You should definitely get on bc, and then do some major soul searching.
Don't make any life changing decisions, until you figure out what you really want out of life.

Good luck Becks!

ThriftyGal

replied on November 17th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I think you just want to have a baby, that it's not really that you want to have Robbies baby.

I understand about liking when he's gone. I'm pretty introverted. I like my friends, and I like to be with people sometimes, but I find I tire of company fast and I need to refuel myself by being alone. I love being alone! Sometimes I miss Thompson and being in an apartment just me when I was pregnant, and just me and Rowan after I had her. I miss having just my stuff, and my thoughts, and my daughter, and being by myself. I just really like that feeling.

sick_mama17

replied on November 17th, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

tanyaface wrote:

I understand about liking when he's gone. I'm pretty introverted. I like my friends, and I like to be with people sometimes, but I find I tire of company fast and I need to refuel myself by being alone. I love being alone! Sometimes I miss Thompson and being in an apartment just me when I was pregnant, and just me and Rowan after I had her. I miss having just my stuff, and my thoughts, and my daughter, and being by myself. I just really like that feeling.

Im like that too. I honestly love it being just me and Jay (and Laney ofcourse) in here. It would be nice to have a guy around for some things and I would like to be in a relationship, but I wouldnt want to live with the guy for a long while. I like having no one to answer to, no guy telling me what I should or should not be doing. I like being in control and having my own space. Men make loads of mess, expect you to do everything for them, try to take over, and moan all the time. I have a few friends who are married, they almost constantly complain to me about their partners, makes me think "thank god im not married!" Laughing

Becky

replied on November 17th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

thanks girls

yellow ribbon

replied on November 17th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

aaahhh this freaking post wouldnt open. it has seriously taken me about an hour of going on and off the forum to get to read this!!

My friend recently got a job at the sears portrait here and all i get to here about is her work. I miss my job so much but I know with three kids theres no way for me to work a minimum wage job. Plus I dont want an odd # of kids. I think you should wait. two is hard enough and adult converstation is just gunna get farther away the more kids you have to take care of. Plus you dont want to have a baby with someone that you cant see as a part of your life for the rest of your life. maybe you could b a part time midwife at a midwife place and only have a few clients at a time? I dont really know how that thing works

sick_mama17

replied on November 18th, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

beckster wrote:

I would love to work in a school but I don't know how i'd go about getting qualified or applying

Its easy to find out all that stuff, you just need to make some phone calls, or arrange to have whats called a "work focused interview" at the job centre. You can ask them who you need to talk to about becoming a teacher. Or just look online do a search for it. Get the number of a university and ask them what you need to do to become a teacher, or you could ask at a college. Phone these places up and enquire about it. Its easy.

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