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Help!! unusual behavior ~ temper tantrums, fits of rage (Page 1)

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I really need some useful advice. My five year-old daughter has fits of rage…..now when I tell people this they usually say, “what five year-old doesn’t have an occasional fit?” No, it‘s not just a fit. My daughter throws herself on the floor and injures herself. Screaming so hard she throws up or gets a bloody nose. She has kicked holes in her door and wall when we try to discipline her by putting her in her room. And they can last for hours and hours.
It seems like she has unusual behavior for a five year-old. When she’s having a fit or about to, she wants things done a certain way. Like almost OCD. An example is: When she is throwing a fit, she wants me to pick her up in front of her by her head in just a certain way. Now maybe this is her way of controlling the situation, but, it is the only thing that will calm her down. If I do not do things a certain way, these “fits” will last hours.
I have talked to my pediatrician about this. But he just doesn’t get it. Unless you see her in action it’s hard to grasp. And I do not want to put my daughter in a situation where she is medicated. Maybe there is even a book…..any suggestions?
Thanks!!
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replied November 16th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
There are so many possibilities. It's difficult to say what's going on without seeing her. Is she in Kindergarten? If she is in Kindergarten and demonstrates behaviors there, perhaps you can ask the school psychologist and other staff members to observe her in the classroom and start from there. Regular pediatricians are not behavioral specialists or psychologists; it's not their area of expertise. I would want to know what happens when she throws these tantrums. There is usually a reason, such as overstimulation in the environment or like you said, she wants things done in a specific way. Did she attain her developmental milestones on time? How is she with her adaptive skills such as daily living skills, communication, socialization?? There are just so many questions. The behavior that you described is atypical of a five year old. Usually five year olds will have fits, may throw themselves on the ground when not getting there own way but they don't do so to the extent you are talking about. You are doing the right thing by seeking answers. Often times, parents of young kids don't know who to go to besides their pediatrician. Some are good but they are medical doctors. They can rule out medical diagnosis but are not typically mental health professionals. Much too often people rely on what they say as the "sole" answer.

Do you live near a Children's Hospital? Do you have good insurance? Children's Hospitals usually have pretty good clinical psychologists.
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replied November 16th, 2007
Thanks for the fast reply! She is in Kindergarten. But she is a different little girl in school and most public places. Very reserved, shy, quiet, sweet. (She is also very sweet at home, when she’s not having a melt down.) And I do not believe her school has a psychologist. They have a nurse and counselors.
Some of the time the tantrums are do to over-stimulation, sugar, or lack of sleep…..but I do not believe it’s the cause. Those elements do cause for us to have a worse day, but, we are very careful and it is rare for a sugar over-load or lack of sleep. Plus there are plenty of days when a melt down comes out of no where. And it’s almost always because things are not done a certain way…..not because she’s not getting her way. She wants it done a specific way. I hope that makes sense.
As far as her behavioral skills, she is a normal five year-old girl. She has always been average or above average.
We do have good health coverage. And we do live close to a Children’s Hospital. I just am a little naïve and do not want my little girl to be poked and prodded at. And actually I do not even know where to start. Do I just call Children’s up?
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replied November 18th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
Just a Suggestion
My suggestion is that you bring your child to see a child psychologist, as soon as possible let them see what's is it that makes your child behave that way it's better to consult them now than later, the earlier the better, prevention is better than cure. It may be due to somethings that happened in school have you asked the teachers?
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replied November 18th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Honestly, it's a good thing that she is a different child in school and in public. If they haven't seen any of the behaviors your are seeing, it means that she can control it to some point. If she in kindergarten for a few hours a day, there is a possibility that she just hasn't had any of those behaviors because school is not long enough. School is a place that a lot of children with behavior difficulties will melt down due to overstimulation, lack of control over their environment and having to deal with so many different children (just to name a few reasons).

I would call up the psychology department at children's hospital and speak with the receptionist. Ask her about the steps to get your child seen. Since her behavior only occurs at home, I don't think they will "poke or prode" her. They may either do a full psychological assessment or consult with you to give you ideas on what to do. When we have children whose behavior is a little out of the norm, it usually helps to have someone else help us to think outside of the box.

You may want to call the school psychologist and talk with him or her about what you are going through. They also may know more about resources in your community and can help steer you in the right way. At least they can be a good person to consult.

Good luck
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replied November 26th, 2007
Supporter
Have you considered autism? I'm actually not quite sure of the symptoms of autism in younger children, but the calming part triggered the thought that if she wants to be picked up a certain way, maybe she's trying to express another need than simply bein upset b/c she can't get what she wants?
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replied December 18th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
.
One symptom of autism is no eye contact when the child is call - I know this from my sister her daughter is autistic.
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replied September 8th, 2008
Temper tantrums
Have you heard of the Feingold Diet? You can find more info at Feingold.org. It is the elimination of artificial colors, salicylates, and the food additives BHA, BHT, & TBHQ from the diet. On the 5th day of the diet, my then 4yr old was a completely different (sweet & compliant) child. At that age it only takes 4-5 days to see the results. We had great success with this, and thankfully--no drugs !! Those petroleum chemicals are pretty powerful on little bodies and minds. Lots of good info on the web site - a good place to start.
Best of luck.
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replied December 29th, 2008
temper tantrums
my 6 year old son has the same troubles when things don't go as planned he has these fits of rage. He throws himself down slams his head in the wall, screams for hours crys loudly, throws toys, breaking them. We tried the doctor, and then a counseling center for children, they dignosed him as having ADHD and medicated him right away, this made things worse. On top of the fits, he began to talk about hating himself, and being depressed. I took him off the meds. I have tried working with the school but they are tired of dealing with him. THey tell me they don't have time for his behavior and it is distracting the other children. He is a very intelligent child, acedemically he is suceeding, but socially I feel he is drownding. He is aware of his fits, we talk about them once he has calmed down. He is not able to control them, he crys and tells me he doesn't want to do it any more, but he can't stop. I'm so afraid for him! At first we thought that his behavior was just a spoiled child not getting his way, we tried to take things from him, grounded him gave him time out. This has no effect on him! Punishments make it worse, it is like a total break down for him. Most of these fits happen at home, and just recently he began them at school. The doctors and the counseling center have never seen one in action. I try at times to provoke one when we are there, I know that may seem cruel but at this point I feel that if they could just see one, they could help him. What do we do? When I saw the posting above about the 5 year old girl I felt relief that I am not alone, but were do we go from here?
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replied January 16th, 2009
Diagnosis
Get your daughter to a behavioral specialist immediately. Do your own research on the web and get a referral! Its your rights! It took a video clip of my son seizing to prove that it was more than a tic (uncontrollable muscle twitching). And thats the only way I was referred out to a pediatric neurologist! My son was diagnosed with Epilepsy in December 07. And now I believe my son is also an Autistic child.

Good luck to you!

Remember, a mother always knows! I did! I sensed it from day one.
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replied April 1st, 2009
MY 6 YEAR-OLDS "TANTRUMS"
Hi, i have a daughter who just turned 6. up until the past 5 weeks, she has had "tantrums," but we were able to control them by disipline techniques. in the last 3 of the five weeks mentioned, i was alerted by the kindergarten teacher that i needed to remove my daughter from the premisis on 3 occasions. this was the first i heard of her throwing these trantrums. when i went to school to pick her up, i couldn't believe my eyes. she was throwing herself on the floor, screaming at the top of her lungs, ripping things off the walls of the principle's office, running away from me down the halls screaming. since the episode at school, i have started to see those same "tantrums" at home. there is no controlling them. nothing we do works. she recently ran away from her father into the alley behind our home, where cars cut through, screaming. he had an awful time catching her. she could have been hurt very badly. after she eventually calms down, she knows that what she did was not appropriate, but during, there is no cause/effect, no concern for self, nothing. these "tantrums" usually most always begin from her not getting something that she wants, something done her way, etc. up until just recently, i have never been not able to control them. now, i am like an intrusive bystander while she does what she wants. if we try to stop the "trantrum" it gets worse. she has alienated herself from her only two neighbor friends, been told she couldn't return. i have taken her to a therapist who says she has adhd, i have taken her to her pediatrician who says she has "ridgid behaviors" and doesn't believe it's adhd. in the mean time, nothing is being done, the "trantrums" are becoming more frequent, and the possibility of someone getting hurt increases also. autism was mentioned, only due to some "ridgid behaviors" but supressed quickly. she is also in danger on not completing kidergarten, she has mild hearing loss in both ears, and a mother desperatly trying to do something to help. can someone please help?
shelley
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replied July 3rd, 2009
same problems with fits of rage in child
oh my gosh .... when I saw all of these posts on here, I sighed with relief ... b/c now I feel like my husband and I are not alone. I have a 5 yr old step-daughter who acts the same way as everyone has posted on here. No one believes us when we tell them about these fits. They say different things like "oh, it's because you're not consistent, oh she's not on a routine, oh she consumes too much soda, oh she doesn't get enough rest." well ya know what?!? - neither did I when I was little and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no one else I know did either - but I have NEVER EVER seen fits of rage such as my step-daughters. I've been doing a little research here online and the closest thing I can come up with is Bipolar disorder. It's so rare for it to come out in little kids, but she fits all the criteria. Right down to having a direct family member with bi-polar disorder. I don't think her mother has ever been diagnosed, but they both go through the highest of highs and the lowest of low's at the drop of a hat. It's crazy. I'm definitely calling a child psychologist on monday (since it's July 4th weekend) and getting her in to be seen. She barely has any friends that want to hang out with her and it's getting to be an everyday thing - where NOTHING helps. We've tried every disciplinary action possible - no effect. Tonight, we had to literally pick her up and put her in the tub, her mother had to climb in to wash her up while I held her still so no one would slip and fall. Different things trigger it .... tonight it was the tub, 2 nights ago it was me washing her feet before she got into bed, a few nights before that it was because her cousin touched her favorite toy, sometimes it's because the girls next door have to go inside, one time it was because she accidentally broke her snow globe - all fo these things have sent her into fits of RAGE that last for hours - crying, screaming, flailing on the floor, banging her head against the wall, ripping posters off the wall, pulling her curtains down, etc, etc, etc. So .... at this point, we are also at our wits end and I'm definitely calling someone on Monday ... hope we all get the help we need.
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replied December 5th, 2009
OMG..sounds just like my 5 yr old son...never in my life have I seen so much anger in a little boy !..He was diagnosed ADHD but I don't think he has that ..medication for ADHD didn't work,I've tried natural remidies for the last 2 years ..they aren't working and he's outa control at this point so i began doing research..I think he has BIPOLAR!..my 2 oldest children have it thier 18 and 20 and so do I..but I didn't think a child that young could have it?..his app w/ the dr isn't til feb 10th..what do I do till then?
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replied January 7th, 2010
Its really very serious issue. You just try to control its mind situation and than give information what you want. If its possible than you controlled all this situation.

Thanks
Stringer
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replied February 16th, 2010
Rage tantrums
I have a very similar situation with my almost 6 year old daughter. We have dealt with these "rage episodes" since early toddler-hood. Even at 9 mo. she was extremely defiant. She used to exhibit these behaviors at school and has been suspended many times but over the last year it has really been limited to home. She has several social anxiety fears associated with other school age children, i.e.." if i can't wear that than everyone is going to hate me and think i'm ugly" . she's been diagnosed with ADHD which i believe to be accurate but not the primary source of problem. The rage fits are not caused by overstimulation usually but by being told no and not getting her way. i don't know what to do anymore... i've tried EVERYTHING... these fits sometimes last for hours at a time.... it's soooo stressfu. i have two younger children who have NO symptoms of the sort. I'm out of ideas and at my wits end with this girl!!!
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replied March 25th, 2010
my 6 year old has rages
WOW alot of these articles are what i go through with my dughter. She is 6, and I do not know what to do.She has these fits of rage and they last for awhile, she will ruin things throw things to the pint where her room looks as thougha tornando went through.She has threatened to kill herself, sister and dog, she has physically beat on her older sister, she has hit and kicked me.She will scream and yell that I am hurting her when I try to hold her to calm her.The expression on her face wil totally change and look kind of evil looking, and everything is hate this and hate that.When she is done with these fits she will come up to me and curl in a ball and sob.I will then ask her why she acted like that I she will say I don't know I don't know and continuing sobbing.I am looking for any help, I have tried a counselor and that did not work.I am getting desperate because it hurts me to not know what is going on with her and hurts me more than she don't know why she does it ans she says she don't like to do it.
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replied April 13th, 2010
Fits of anger
I have a 6 year old boy that does the same thing when he doesn''t get his way he throws a fit of anger. I leave hom alone until he is done than he is just fine.
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replied August 19th, 2010
Try to find some activities and creative outlets for your child. She doesnt sound normal, but she doesnt sound like she is beyond hope either. Try to find an activity that is very engaging that she loves.

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replied May 20th, 2011
6 yr old twins....
Im the father of twins that are almost 6.
We have been dealing with this same behavior for a few years.
In the last few months it has began to escalate into more and more violent rages...

Same as a lot of you are saying, once in the "fit" (which lets not even us that word, it is a full blown rage) they are hyper-angry and completely unreachable.

Usually the behavior will stem from not getting what they want, Or being told to put away a toy or game or something...

THey have began to hit and scratch us to the point that we look like battered spouses. And that is hard on the ego as I am a big guy...

My wife and I are feeling at a loss.
Our kids are NICU babies born 2 months early at 4 lbs each...

Our life has consisted of "managing their outbursts and fits".

THey can happen any time (at home 99% of the time).

at least 4 days a week, I'll wake up to them punching and kicking each other over the top of me.
Then the hitting, scratching, pinching, kicking of me begins...

They have been on a gluten free diet for a couple of years.
It has made only the smallest of dents in things.

Feels helpless when we are in it...
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replied August 19th, 2011
where to turn
my now 17yr old son now goes into fits of rage the doctors at the er have seen it and dont know what to do or help because he is a minor and are afraid to admit him because its not a medical issue or he is not hurt or hurting himself he started having these fits of rage a little over a year ago were he breaks stuff and punches holes in walls and kicked my whole one side of my car in this all seemed to start a few months after he was pushed off a 27foot hight bridge into 6inches of water he recieved a severe concussion and shattered his wrist he has pain and arthritis in his wrist daily ....he is good for a few weeks then you can actually see him turn and start his rage and terror and its usually if something doesnt go his way and he cant seem to control it and when he comes out of it he is exhausted and really doesnt remember why or what he did while in the fit of rage ...........we have had MRIs CAT scans Xrays but nothing shows did he knock something loose and he short circuits heard about the football players could he have that
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replied September 1st, 2011
One of the things I have seen help a lot of kids who have mood issues, behavioral problems, temper tantrums, very irritable most of the time is something called nutritional lithium,. It is interesting because lithium has been around a long time as a medication, specifically something called lithium carbonate. Lithium carbonate has been generally used in people with bi-polar, depression, manic issues and in some cases can be quite helpful for that. Lithium helps regulate brain receptors. Biomedical autism intervention specialist physician, Dr. Kurt Woeller, explain this in his blog site
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