Become a Christian or Buddhist monk. I'm being completely serious, too. There is co chemical castration involved; instead you mentally get rid of your desire for sex (and other worldly things).

I think a saner solution is therapy with a psychologist to discuss and work through your problems with relationships and sex.

If it wasn't for my inability to believe in the religious/spiritual, I'd consider entering an enclosed religious order. That aside, I don't necessarily want to leave the world; I just want to leave one specific emotion and desire.

Psychological therapy isn't the answer. Sex is great and wonderful, I don't have any problems with it per se. It's the constant pain involved with failing to enter into a relationship and then the pain at the end of the relationship when I'm "lucky" enough to get into one.

That's not something I need any more, and I have no problem giving up sex totally in order to avoid that pain. However, I'd like to be rid of the desires and emotions as well. I want to cut them off completely and cleanly. Hopefully there is some sort of medical castration (I'd rather avoid the surgical, but at this point I'd consider it) or medication that would stop whatever chemical causes desire in the male.

I think you need therapy for the "pain" aspects, because that is NOT a normal human reaction.

I unfortunately do not think any doctor will chemically or physically castrate you. They would consider it harmful mutilation.

People have tried estrogen treatments for men who committed sex crimes to decrease their drive- it was called chemical castration. I don't know if it actually worked, because they stopped doing it, but you could probably look online if you want. However, no doc would prescribe that to you, so you're sol...


I agree with Eiri that you need therapy more than anything. I know relationships can suck, but to completely give up on them? That's bad.

Plus, if you really need, you can have sex without a relationship.

There's a reason I am willing to travel internationally for treatment. While I'd rather do whatever needs doing here in the USA, I've been saving for some time and have a valid passport to ensure I can go outside of the USA if it's necessary.

As for giving up on relationships, I did so successfully for a bit over half a decade and was fine. Unfortunately, I decided to give it "one more chance" and that was a bad idea. Instead of going through more mental and emotional anguish, depression, etc., it's time to cut this off at the roots and move on with my life- move to a more free and happy existence. Ending my sexual drive entirely is something I have considered for a number of years; frankly, I should have done this long ago. But better later than never!

As for the sex without a relationship, I'd rather not have to or need to care about sex at all- hence the overall goal of being able to somehow turn off my sex drive.

I wouldn't recommend it sir, its understandable that with pain, and humans (animals as well) natural tendency to shy away from it, that you would try to find a method to prevent it ever again. But what you are seeking for, some medical (approved or non approved [if it even exists]) method to remove desire for another, cannot be without its side effects. Drugs, surgery, whatnot, to disable your emotional desires for another? What, would you like somebody to surgically remove a part of your brain like in some science movie? You would likely lose much more then just abilities to get hurt, love, like, desire, etc. Castration won't help your desires for liking somebody, it'll only remove your sex drive i believe.

I cannot imagine what you have gone through, but let me tell you this, you aren't different. Whatever case you have unless it was something like 19 times cheated on, 5 of them attempted to kill you, 6 of them used you for some evil scheme, 1 of them was an alien really attempting to abduct you, or some of the most bizarre cases imaginable, you are not different. Hundreds of thousand have experienced painful events very similar and equal in magnitude as yours. And the rest of the world, both of those who have once lived and died, and those who live now, have experienced pain. But the majority of them try to move on, some get swallowed up and let the pain overtake them until it transforms them into something else, some commit suicide, some of them learn to move on. It hurts to care, it hurts to desire, to love, but pain is meant to be a way of telling you that you have done something wrong (in a very general sense). It doesn't mean that you have to never touch it again, it just means that the way in which you dealt with it was poorly misjudged. So lets say these relationship issues of yours was their "fault" and not yours, chances are, the fact that you might have experienced this many times, indicates that perhaps you didn't pick the right one wisely, you weren't reserved enough, there were signs that this relationship was a bad outcome but you ignored it, etc.

All I'm trying to say is, whether or not you want to end your sex drive is fine by all means. A person can gain true wisdom/purpose when they do not let instinctual habits get to the best of them, why do you think buddhist monks and the like are revered for having gained "enlightment" and perfectly content with their life by sacrificing their sexual desires. But to take out emotions (that aren't focused on your penis) of the heart, is inhumane, it was given to us for some unknown purpose that separates us from the other creatures in this earth. Don't be a coward and run away from them. Learn from them and remember you aren't alone.

I admit to not knowing how these desires and urges are created. My hope is to find some drug or surgery that would permanently fix the issue. Assuming castration totally removes the sex drive, I'm willing to give it serious consideration. Assuming only a partial castration (removal only of the testes) is necessary, I am willing to undergo that surgery. Side effects are a concern, but I do not believe they could be any worse than the pain already involved.

My experiences may or may not be so different; it's what happens afterward. I have been "swallowed up," as you put it. Each time it's harder and harder to recover. There have been two periods in my life (approximately 9.5 years and 5.0 years, respectively) where I remained completely away from relationships. It's always a little lonely at the beginning, but gradually one forgets and then leads a decent, normal life. Unfortunately, each time I faltered and was foolish enough to forget the past lessons and to try again.

While removing emotions of the heart might be inhumane for others, it would be a blessing for me. You may consider me a coward or whatever you prefer; I am used to negative reactions when I discuss my views on this matter with others. However, let me state that cowardice is failing to step up and resolve the issue by ending it as permanently as possible.

Actually, I have learned from them. These emotions and desires need to be ended if I hope to have a decent quality of life. I intend to succeed.

I just feel that this isn't a healty reaction to have to your situation, so therapy would be better. Of course, its your body and your choice.