It Doesn't Have to Take Death to Stop Using, Does It?

Hi to all who is reading this post, I would like to share my story, if only a slight chance it could help anyone, if only 1 person recover, in hopes, the tragedy I went through was for nothing and something good could come out of all this.
My husband was a serve alcoholic, I loved him deeply and I just knew I could fix him, he was worth and deserved help and all the support I could give him and I was convinced God was with us, God would take all this away from him. I talked to my Pastor about counseling from my husband, he gladly took him in and they had counseling sessions twice a week and my husband was going to alcoholic's for Christ meeting on Mondays. We went to church every Sunday, we prayed alot together, read the bible faithfully daily. My husband would cry reading the bible telling me I don't want to drink, live like this, but yet I continue to do what I don't want to do. My brother a Pastor also, his church was praying from him, our church was praying for him, so many people cared and wanted to help him. Going through all these recovery steps, all the support he could ever need, he still continued to drink through it all, he went for 3 months then stopped going all together. It was now getting worse, he stayed drunk, if he didn't drink he would become sick. When we found out I was pregnant, he promised this was it, he was done. He was clean for 2 days, he became very Ill when he started to withdrawal and picked back up. Over the next 7 months, i took him to the VA hospital ( as he was a retired Marine) at least 8 times to detox , he always signed himself out as soon as he would start sobering up. Still, I knew God would answer my prayers in his time, my husband was a good person he deserved a good life, I no he didn't want to live like this, who would? no-one seen the part of him that made me fall deeply in love with him. I was determined to fix him, help him support him, I wasn't giving up on him, he was to important to me. When it came close to my delivery date, he stopped drinking and after I had our baby girl on March 2nd, 2005, I thought this was it he was done for good. He stayed sober for the first month, and he get got worse, he was drinking up to 2 fifths of
vodka daily now, staying drunk basically all he did was lye in bed drinking.
As much as I loved him, I had no choice to leave with our baby. It came to a point I had to make the choice, leave with your baby or stay and lose your baby. I left and moved to my moms house, but I still wasn't giving up on him. Since the house for now in for closer he now only had 3 days to get out. With my moms help we found a place for him and on December 7th 2007 we starting helping him move. At his new place the water was not turned on and frozen, they could not turn on his service for approximately 1 week, so we asked my mom if he could stay until it was turned on, she was okay with that. On the drive back to my moms, still half drunk he stopped and bought a fifth of vodka, we were less than a mile from my moms when he struck a large tree. I don not remember much after that. I was flown about 25 feet landing in a ditch, the front seats and console was found in the ditch, the motor was found in the middle of the road, with the main body found rested against a barn. Jumper cables, head rest and his overnight bag was found on the roof of this barn. What I first remember is walking around screaming my husbands name over and over, I could not find him, the terror i felt I could never describe. What seemed like forever, a man came along, I heard his yell, I found him he's over here. I went to him, from the waist down he was still in the drivers side. He was trying to get up, saying "I'm so cold". I told him, helps on the way, you have to be still. He never did say anything after that. every things going to be okay.
I was going to make sure of that, I knew he was going to be taken away from me again, but now longer as he used to always tell me if I ever get caught drinking and driving, I'm going to the big house for a long time. I had a clear record, I wouldn't get time. He was going to go to rehab, get better so we could be a family again. That's all there was to it.
Next thing I remember is lights everywhere, police, ambulance's, fire trucks, people all over the place. When a police officer asked my husband who was driving, I immediately said "I was" I was then taken to the hospital. My husband arrived shortly after me, the doctor came in to tell me he was in surgery, he's critical, we lost him a couple of time and its not looking good, you need to start preparing for the worst, after that was said, his pager went off, he had an emergency and left. I was in shock, this wasn't happening. I could not comprehend any of this. Shortly after this, the doctor came back in, the page he got was about my husband, words I will never forget came next, " I'm sorry, we tried everything we could, your husband did not make, he died at 1:40a.m." I was hearing this but not believing this, they took me up to were his was, I seen him, I touched him, I kissed him good-bye, still this wasn't real. I was released 2 days later, no injuries. I had his funeral in Tennessee, where he was from, I buried my husband, but yet I still couldn't believe he was gone.
I went on over the next 2 months, I had convinced myself he was away in rehab, getting better. My family was supportive but concerned, called a family meeting and that's when I broke. My dad and step-mom now having the police report and autopsy report confronted me ,first about who was really driving, I stuck to my story I was. They now had some type of proof that confirmed what they believed all along, It was not me driving. After about an hour of them trying to get me to admit what really had happened, my mom, forced me to look her in the eyes, and said " he's gone, he' not coming back, he is dead, you can not protect him anymore, its over, now you have to protect your kids and yourself. That was a hard hit and brought me back to reality and since that day, I did begin to fight. It was a hard thing to do, as I felt sometimes I was betraying my husband, but I knew I had to tell the truth. I went through a jury trial, the hardest thing I have ever went through in my life. Having to re live that night, hearing all the testimony by the doctors that treated my husband, the hardest part was from the expert reenactment specialist, who showed pictures and testified in detail with evidence and proof of exactly who was in the drivers seat and passengers seat, second to second what exactly happened from the time the car left the road way and until it came to a rest upon the barn. The jury came back with a verdict in less than an hour. In Sept 2006, I was found not guilty. Now almost 2 years after I lost my husband, I still sometimes wonder if I could of done anything more for him. I no the answer is I couldn't of, and I have finally come to realize, God answered my prayers, my husbands prayers and so many other peoples prayers, not how we would of liked but by his will, God took him home that night in December, ended his life long battle with alcohol, took all his suffering away and my husband will never drink again.
~In loving memory of Jeffery 09/12/1962-12/08/2005, I'll be seeing you!~