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I Guess...this Place Couldn't Hurt?

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November 14th, 2007
Hi...so lets just say for discussions sake my name is paul atreides

I'm 18, male, and I live in connecticut

I don't "have no friends" but since I've made the transition from high school to college, I don't really have any close friends. Like no one I could really talk to about anything, and I don't feel comfortable talking about stuff like this around my parents...

I somewhat recently got out of a long relationship, lets just say it didn't end well, and I've been looking to get back in a relationship. I've been single about 3 months now...but I have to say...whenever I don't give my mind something to focus on, it is constantly, and I mean CONSTANTLY focusing on getting in a relationship with someone

I'm constantly feeling miserable, and down, like there's no point in living

I also recently just met a girl who basically flipped my world upside down, and when I talk to her, I seem to forget every trouble I have, I want to date her, but long story short, she just won't be in a relationship right now

Ever since I've heard that from her, I've been even worse then usual...I've felt so empty, so...worthless

I guess if I'm asking anything...it's how can I get over this?
I don't even know if anyone will read this, I probably wouldn't, but if anyone has any advice at all (besides the whole you're young and have the rest of your life ahead of you stuff) please...I would do anything to get myself out of this horrible horrible funk...
I guess...idk
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CarolDiane
replied November 15th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Dear Foolsparadise
Sometimes it just is not the right person. And it may take awhile for you to realize that. You did not say who broke up with who, but by your post I reading it was you. Is this right?
If I were you, I would just ponder your feelings for awhile. You sound like you are ready for a serious relationship and future lasting. You have to start getting out and meeting people and do things to get your mind on other things. Who know's you may even meet Ms. Right. Broken relationships will always be depressing no matter who you are. Us woman even take it worse. For some, being alone is the worse thing in the world to them. Others choose just to stay free.
Let me tell you a little something about me. And this will tell you alot. I knew my third husband for 12 years before I married him. He was married at the time and realized he wanted to be with me. We spent every moment we could together for the 7 years we were intimate. We married on March 1st 1997. We seperated 8 times along the way. We were married for just over a year. It just did not work out and he was not the same man I knew before I married him.
So you see, nothing is what it seems to be sometimes. Don't get depressed. There is someone out there that you can spend the rest of you life with I am sure. I even still could be this same lady.
Give this girl her space and let her come to you. Sounds like your going to have to gradually work you way into her life.

Carrie

Thoughts Anyone?
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marvel
replied November 15th, 2007
Supporter
I agree, MsSky!
It's a somewhat unfortunate reality that you can't force things to happen when they simply won't budge. You have to adapt to who you encounter and what happens in your life. Since you can't make this girl want to be in a relationship, you have to preserve yourself and learn when to back off or even let go for a little while at least. You also can't invest your sense of worth in one person. That almost always ends tragically. And, yes, definitely get out there and meet more people... don't be afraid to hang out with people who you get a long with... get personal with them.... this is how good, long lasting friendships last. They'll also give you support when you need it... and it seems like that's what you need right now.

Never be afraid to Private Message me (or MsSky either, I'm sure!).
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FoolsParadise
replied November 15th, 2007
I appreciate the responses...I really just kinda wanna get over this girl, but I have no idea how to go about doing that...aside from just completely cutting her out of my life, and though I really think that would be the best way for me, I don't wanna be a !@#$head and do that to someone, I have no idea how to go about doin any of this

and yeah the last relationship I ended after she cheated on me =/
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lonestarguy
replied November 15th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
Okay Dune Boy.....I agree with the others that life makes it difficult for all relationships to start or even proceed the way you want....It's tragic since you felt this might the "One".....But it may not be in the cards, so it is important that you get out there and meet new people....Sometimes before you can get a lasting relationship, you need to become friends first....Be patient, you're still young and you have time to meet many new friends....Don't force things too much because then you may alienate her forever...I can't add anything to what MsSky and Marvel said....I have been married for almost 32 years and we are still best friends....Good luck to you.
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CarolDiane
replied November 15th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
The best way I can explain it is, it feels like someone is ripping part of you heart right out of you chest. It hurt like heck. There have been two men in my life that I can actually say I have yet to get over. I have put it behind me, but not gotton over. Only time heals wounds, even if just partially.

Carrie
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FoolsParadise
replied November 15th, 2007
oooh how wonderful, someone caught the dune reference, that made me smile :p

aaaaaaaaaayeeee yeah...time heals all things hahahah that is a DUMB rule, >.> there should just be something you can do instead of waiting

well thanks for the advice everyone, I'll take it to heart
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CarolDiane
replied November 15th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Well maybe not all wounds. Wink
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haleymarie423
replied November 15th, 2007
maybe you should see a doctor. a girlfriend or boyfriend should never have that much weight on how you feel about yourself or lyour life. You sound super depressed. Maybe medication would help you? Good luck.
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FoolsParadise
replied November 16th, 2007
haleymarie, I think I might agree with ya

I actually met with the girl today who has been so much on my mind, and we talked for a while, nothin is ever gonna happen between us, I can see that clear as day, but it's kinda cool I'm like, in some kind of zen mood or something cause I'm actually feelin okay about it

as I was waitin for my ride to come get me, I got a peppermint mocha from starbucks, which was worth every penny, and idk I was just thinkin and I was actually okay with it, which is so weird for me...thinkin about her still gives me like a pang of sadness, but not anything like what it was only a day ago

now I got some nice music playin, and I'm goin out later with a friend, and most importantly of all I'm gettin some buffallo wings tonight lol

MsSky I saw what you said in that other thread about me and the other person gettin back here and talkin and maybe it sounds lame or whatever it made me smile, I think I'll stick around this place

I was thinkin about maybe making a thread or something for like people to post any screenames they have or whatever for like maybe AIM, facebook, myspace, etc, might be an interesting way to meet new people

if anyones interested, on AIM, my screename is IXI Atreides IXI I think I'd like to start expanding my friend base, and if there was anythin I could help people with I wouldn't mind like talkin and stuff....especailly if there are any cute girls near me in connecticut...lmao
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CarolDiane
replied November 16th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Foolsparadise
You are too funny. Nice idea trading IM's. I personally stopped using mine. I may just download AIM again. Me gonna think about it. Did you know that it takes less muscles to smile then it does to frown? Just a piece of trivia for ya.

Hugs,
Carrie
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FoolsParadise
replied November 16th, 2007
well if you do, feel free to pester me =] lol
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lonestarguy
replied November 16th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
That one made me smile, Carrie. Smile
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meblonde01
replied November 16th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
FoolsParadise wrote:
well if you do, feel free to pester me =] lol


I sent you a Private message..
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CarolDiane
replied November 16th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
meblonde01 wrote:
FoolsParadise wrote:
well if you do, feel free to pester me =] lol


I sent you a Private message..


Hi lonestarguy: How goes it? Doing well I hope. Ya better be if ya know whats good fer ya.

meblonde01: On my way to PM now.


Fruitcake Carrie Laughing
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lonestarguy
replied November 16th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
Carrie MsSky: As you can see in my picture, just listening to music and watching "After The Thin Man." Doing very well.
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Mike East Texas
replied November 24th, 2007
Experienced User
a Real Guy Tip
When I was in college, there were girls who liked me. But, they didn't find me interesting. Until they saw me with other girls. They started to wonder, what have I missed? Did I over look something about this guy? Why is she interested in him? They get curious. From curious, comes interest.
Then your value on the market gets completely reevaluated.
Talk to as many girls as possible. They may not be interested in you either. But, others girls don't know that.
You may intice the girl you want. If not, you may find somebody that will make you forget her. Twisted Evil
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