My experience of recovery is several steps.
First, I read books: "secret survivors", and also "courage to heal".
Second I saw a cognitive therapist who had expertise in the type of trauma, I had experienced. It is critical to see an expert. Someone who has made trauma their focus. If you ask them for their plan for treatment, the first word out of their mouth should be "safety" (Read Judith Hermans book). Beyond that they should have a clear plan.
Third: cognitive therapy is a good first choice: this is so because you will learn ways to challenge trauma thinking. This will not take away your pain, but it is a safe way to begin, and it takes the edge off.
Fourth, if your therapist recommends medication (antidepressants), look into it. I resisted terribly, and in the end took them because I was in such pain. To this day I believe that therapist saved my life. Again, make sure your psychiatrist specializes in trauma.
Fifth, COPING skills: you cannot possibly learn enough of them: a good place to start is DBT: dialectic behavior therapy: a therapy that focuses on how to regulate intense feelings...this will help with your pain. There is also art therapy coping skills, music coping sjkills, dance skills....but the more types of coping skills you learn, the better.
Then, finally, once you have learnt the cognitive therapy, the safety, and the coping skills well enough.......see a therapist who has >10 years of experience with your trauma, focuses on that type, and work with them to reexperience and heal from your trauma.
You must have a therapist with good boundaries...be wary of those who dont!!!!!
It takes YEARS if your trauma is a childhood trauma, but it is worth it.
Yes, it is difficult. Very difficult.
But my pain is gone for most of every day. I feel JOY (I never knew what that felt like). I am beginning to find the path I should have found as a young adult. And my life feels good many days. I feelmexcited about my future on good days.
I still have bad days...and when I do its awful...but I know how to cope.
I have also learnt how to enjoy every day as much as possible, and not lose any moree of my life.
I am by NO means done. But I am already reaping the benefits of hard hard hard work (about 5)..
I owe my life to a brilliant cognitive therapist, two amazing trauma therapists, and a wonderful psychiatrist.
ESES