Anxiety and Stress Forum - I don't understand girlfriend's anxiety

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Q: I don't understand girlfriend's anxiety - too anxious

asked by: brandon123 on November 12th, 2007

New User

Ive been dating this girl for about 3 months, and ive fallen in love with her...Shes beautiful, smart, has a great sense of humor like me...The problem is that i dont she her much mostly because she has axiety issues..she is always concerned about class and getting her homework done, so she stays home and stresses it all the time, and its good that she puts school first, were both in college and i understand...but she live literally 3 mins from me, and she always wants to reschedule our dates, and she rather stay home and stress about school than see me...one time she cancelled when we were gonna go to the movies, and she called me and stayed on the fone with me for a few hours, which is crazy, because we couldve been at the movies during that time..shes also a virgin and when shes with me, she gets real antzy and panicy when i attempt to like engage in any type of close physical intimacy...the only time i see her is at work(where we met), which isnt the same as spending quality time.....what should i do? its gotten to the point where i rarely talk to her on the phone, like once every two weeks...but i love her, and i dont want to let her go, because shes everything i want in a girl, and we have like the perfect chemistry when were together....but shes just to anxious..and i know shes crazy about me too, but sometimes i just dont understand

Replies(4)

CarolDiane

replied on November 13th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Brandon123

Anxiety is very hard to understand sometime. Unfortunatly, she is the one that is got to seek help. She has to want to. I think your best bet right now is to give her the space she needs to get a grasp on her disorder. And hopefully she will realize it is going to take over her life if she does not get some help.
You one the other hand must keep trying to keep hold of yourself. This is a long road and it may take some time for her to get to the point she see's something is wrong and gets help. As long as you really care about each other, I say stick it out and just be there for her. There will be times you will feel rejected, yes. But this by no means is intentional on her part. Take it from one who suffers too. Take it one day at a time and let her have her space if she needs it.

Any one else like to add some thoughts?

Carrie

brandon123

replied on November 19th, 2007

New User

thank you, i do feel rejected sometimes, but than i think about the fact shes probably anxious..so im going to try and give her space

Bailey16

replied on November 30th, 2007

New User

Maybe Encourage Going to the Doctor With Her

It shows what a great boyfriend you are just posting this, because you care. Maybe talk to her about her anxiety issues, let her talk though. Maybe if it seems appropriate during the conversation you could tell her if she wants you to go to doctor with her to see about it, you would be glad to. Being there for someone with anxiety is the best you can do. As far as the intimacy thing.....yes that is anxiety...just take it slow. If she is getting that anxious it means she really likes you.

pureleafgreentea

replied on March 25th, 2009

New User

hey man

Hey man, seems like you got it hard.
ah well love is never easy.
I can't say i am good at it either but i am
with my girlfriend now for 3 months and i love her more then ever! Thing is this is the second time we went out, the first time i had no clue what i was doing and wasn't open as a boyfriend. Well what i have learned most importantly is comunnication! My girlfriend is like my best friend too, i tell her everything and she tells me all her troubles.
well i would say if your girlfriend always stays home and does homework, maybe try bringing some of your own homework with you to along with her. And talk to her about your work too while you are doing it. I think that most importantly you should try to face each problem with her and open up to her more because it sounds to me like you aren't being completely truthful with her that you are upset. But seriously, be as open as you can with her, you will be supprised how that helps. Ah well dude, Sorry if i seem so sure of myself, just trying to help out. I am only 17 but i hope my advice works out
best of luck bro

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