GF has anxiety issues --- what to do? Posted: 11-12-07 22:21pm
Ive been dating this girl for about 3
months, and ive fallen in love with
her...Shes beautiful, smart, has a great
sense of humor like me...The problem is
that i dont she her much mostly because
she has axiety issues..she is always
concerned about class and getting her
homework done, so she stays home and
stresses it all the time, and its good
that she puts school first, were both in
college and i understand...but she live
literally 3 mins from me, and she always
wants to reschedule our dates, and she
rather stay home and stress about school
than see me...one time she cancelled when
we were gonna go to the movies, and she
called me and stayed on the fone with me
for a few hours, which is crazy, because
we couldve been at the movies during that
time..shes also a virgin and when shes
with me, she gets real antzy and panicy
when i attempt to like engage in any type
of close physical intimacy...the only time
i see her is at work(where we met), which
isnt the same as spending quality
time.....what should i do? its gotten to
the point where i rarely talk to her on
the phone, like once every two weeks...but
i love her, and i dont want to let her go,
because shes everything i want in a girl,
and we have like the perfect chemistry
when were together....but shes just to
anxious..and i know shes crazy about me
too, but sometimes i just dont understand
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blondie_899
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Oct 2007 Posts: 62
Posted: 11-12-07 23:07pm
It's hard to understand what a person goes
through when they have anxiety. I know
because I have it too but im on medication
so it makes things easier for me. Is she
on any type of medication? Why don't you
go over to her house and spend time with
here there? If you love her then you will
stick by her through all of this. You need
to talk to her about it and tell her that
you would like to see her more.Just
comfort her because it sounds like she
needs it right about now.
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Maddie34
Supporter
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 1584 Location: ,
Thanks: 84
Thanked:18
Posted: 11-13-07 01:24am
You sound just like my boyfriend. I’m
kind of a spaz when it comes to school,
work, and especially sex, and if this were
a few months earlier and for a few
details, I'd say you were him.
Your problems with seeing each other could
possibly be solved by a little better
communication-- not that you have poor
communication now. Try making a schedule
of times you can see each other. Homework
sucks so I usually feel better when I take
a break to talk to my boyfriend. See if
you can plan little breaks where you don't
do anything but be together. No homework
or work. At first those times where hard
for me to work out but now its a part of
my day I look forward to most. What about
weekends? And try staying in to watch
movies, that way you can cuddle close and
not have to worry about driving to the
theater. It may be less stress for her and
having you physically close just to sit
and relax would probably be really nice.
Have you tried talking to her and asking
why she gets so panicked or doesn’t feel
comfortable doing things physically? Try
asking why she gets so panicked. Maybe she
doesn’t know what to do? Maybe she’s
had a bad experience before? Maybe she’s
just not ready for that step? Talking
about it is a good way to break the ice. I
had a really hard time with doing anything
physical with my boyfriend until he
finally sat me down and asked what was
going on and we had to have the
conversation a lot before everything
finally got worked out since I was silly
and didn’t say everything all at once.
So remember to be patient and
understanding! If you love the girl then
it will be worth it!
Just be patient all around. You’ve only
been together 3 months and sometimes
schedules and routines are hard to set and
you’re still getting used to each other
as a couple. Things will get easier and I
hope this helps!
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brandon123
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2007 Posts: 4
Posted: 11-19-07 17:30pm
Thank you, thats def. helped..i feel a
little better about the situation...but i
do feel rejected sometimes, but i know she
has anxiety so i let it go..
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Maddie34
Supporter
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 1584 Location: ,
Thanks: 84
Thanked:18
Posted: 11-19-07 18:07pm
My boyfriend felt the same way, and I used
to have to reassure him a lot. As long as
you are able to talk things over and
work out the problems.
Did you manage to have a nice talk about
things? It is a relationship and
you shouldn't be feeling rejected all the
time. She may not even know there's a
problem if she's been stressing over
school and what not. Just be calm about
things when you do talk about them. Let
her know you're not pressuring the
physical stuff and just want to work
things out around her studying and both
your schedules.
