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GF has anxiety issues --- what to do?

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brandon123

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2007
Posts: 4
GF has anxiety issues --- what to do?
Posted: 11-12-07 22:21pm

Ive been dating this girl for about 3 months, and ive fallen in love with her...Shes beautiful, smart, has a great sense of humor like me...The problem is that i dont she her much mostly because she has axiety issues..she is always concerned about class and getting her homework done, so she stays home and stresses it all the time, and its good that she puts school first, were both in college and i understand...but she live literally 3 mins from me, and she always wants to reschedule our dates, and she rather stay home and stress about school than see me...one time she cancelled when we were gonna go to the movies, and she called me and stayed on the fone with me for a few hours, which is crazy, because we couldve been at the movies during that time..shes also a virgin and when shes with me, she gets real antzy and panicy when i attempt to like engage in any type of close physical intimacy...the only time i see her is at work(where we met), which isnt the same as spending quality time.....what should i do? its gotten to the point where i rarely talk to her on the phone, like once every two weeks...but i love her, and i dont want to let her go, because shes everything i want in a girl, and we have like the perfect chemistry when were together....but shes just to anxious..and i know shes crazy about me too, but sometimes i just dont understand
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blondie_899

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 62

Posted: 11-12-07 23:07pm

It's hard to understand what a person goes through when they have anxiety. I know because I have it too but im on medication so it makes things easier for me. Is she on any type of medication? Why don't you go over to her house and spend time with here there? If you love her then you will stick by her through all of this. You need to talk to her about it and tell her that you would like to see her more.Just comfort her because it sounds like she needs it right about now.
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Maddie34

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Posted: 11-13-07 01:24am

You sound just like my boyfriend. I’m kind of a spaz when it comes to school, work, and especially sex, and if this were a few months earlier and for a few details, I'd say you were him. Wink

Your problems with seeing each other could possibly be solved by a little better communication-- not that you have poor communication now. Try making a schedule of times you can see each other. Homework sucks so I usually feel better when I take a break to talk to my boyfriend. See if you can plan little breaks where you don't do anything but be together. No homework or work. At first those times where hard for me to work out but now its a part of my day I look forward to most. What about weekends? And try staying in to watch movies, that way you can cuddle close and not have to worry about driving to the theater. It may be less stress for her and having you physically close just to sit and relax would probably be really nice.

Have you tried talking to her and asking why she gets so panicked or doesn’t feel comfortable doing things physically? Try asking why she gets so panicked. Maybe she doesn’t know what to do? Maybe she’s had a bad experience before? Maybe she’s just not ready for that step? Talking about it is a good way to break the ice. I had a really hard time with doing anything physical with my boyfriend until he finally sat me down and asked what was going on and we had to have the conversation a lot before everything finally got worked out since I was silly and didn’t say everything all at once. So remember to be patient and understanding! If you love the girl then it will be worth it!

Just be patient all around. You’ve only been together 3 months and sometimes schedules and routines are hard to set and you’re still getting used to each other as a couple. Things will get easier and I hope this helps!
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brandon123

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2007
Posts: 4

Posted: 11-19-07 17:30pm

Thank you, thats def. helped..i feel a little better about the situation...but i do feel rejected sometimes, but i know she has anxiety so i let it go..
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Maddie34

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Posted: 11-19-07 18:07pm

My boyfriend felt the same way, and I used to have to reassure him a lot. As long as you are able to talk things over and work out the problems.

Did you manage to have a nice talk about things? It is a relationship and you shouldn't be feeling rejected all the time. She may not even know there's a problem if she's been stressing over school and what not. Just be calm about things when you do talk about them. Let her know you're not pressuring the physical stuff and just want to work things out around her studying and both your schedules.
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