I'm in a perfectly stable relationship at
the moment with someone I love. Yet,
lately, I can't stop thinking of my ex
when it's been over a year since we broke
up. I get excited when he comes online and
randomly read through his profile. And I
constantly imagine myself in the situation
where he wants me back. I know it's
pathetic, and the guilt is terrible, but I
can't seem to control it. I want him to
want me.
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 11-16-07 23:34pm
Well that's fairly normal. How long have
you been with the new guy (meaning, how
long was there in between relationships?)
Did he break it off or you? It seems
likely that you don't really want him
back, you just are having a hard time
understanding how someone who you were
previously so close to no longer wants
you. Accept it, work through it, and then
you will be able to let it go. It doesn't
make you a bad girlfriend.
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yogahoneybunny
Supporter
Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 916 Location: Strumica, Macedonia
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 11-19-07 15:05pm
Was the sex w/the ex good? I find that my
fantasies and groping were a result of a
false belief that sex meant connection ...
and are you obsessed? Nah. Just mourning
the loss of something that "could have
been" (which never will be ).
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mattoose
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2007 Posts: 9
Posted: 11-21-07 11:55am
I'm no expert (duh), but the best advice I
have ever recieved when it comes to
relationships is that you cannot survive
in the "Coulda, shoulda, woulda" world.
You will only survive in the world that
"is". It is natural to feel the way you
do. Just be careful, I've seen
relationships go through hell because of
this. When you feel this way, it is
impossible for you to treat this new
person in your life the way he deserves.
If you one day loose him, you may find
that you now feel this way with him.
I'm sure you've heard it before, "You
never know what you've got till it's
gone." You can't force love, but just
remember that the person who is with you
now really cares for you. This guy you
keep thinking about, doesn't and he does
not deserve your love. I'm not saying what
you are doing is wrong or unnatural, just
please please please don't what coulda,
shoulda, woulda mess up what is.
OK?
Oh yeah, I hate to spoil your fun but
wanting him to want you likely make him
want you less. You still talk to him,
don't you? Bad relationships can be like
drugs, don't form bad habits, they are
hard to quit and often withdrawal symptoms
are present when you do.
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Janey12
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Feb 2008 Posts: 8 Location: Los Angeles, CA
Only a year? Posted: 02-14-08 17:17pm
I think it's normal to think of someone
you just broke up with last year! Maybe
it was too soon for the new relationship?
I have friends who are married but stink
are hung up on guys they dated 15 years
ago! I don't think that love will ever go
away!
It's TOTALLY normal - don't feel guilty.
