My name is Mary and I just turned 22 in
August. I guess not long after that I
started feeling 'different' -- Anyways, I
was looking up some of the symptoms of
schizophrenia and they are similar to what
I've been going through. I've only been
diagnosed with social anxiety and
depression, but one again lately it's been
different and I feel almost disabled
because of it.
My mom tells me that I worry too much... I
constantly worry about whether someone is
okay while they are out and about-- I
worry about them dying. I'm afraid of
dying and afraid of choking on pills(ya
its dumb, but I can't take them notmatter
how hard I try). I'm constantly paranoid
when it comes to people and their motives.
I would consider myself socially retarded,
but I still have afew close friends and
have recently found myself withdrawing
myself from them. I have to force myself
to come out of the comfort of my own room.
I go through periods of not sleeping for
days and then sleeping for almost 2 days
strait(prolly a symptom of my
depression).
I often keep my thoughts to myself so
people don't think I'm crazy or something,
but there are certain songs that people
tell me about and I irrationally think
that they are trying to tell me something
through the song. I've been to quite afew
psychics also and I'm constantly joking
with people about how I'm psychic.(only
sometimes I really think I could be--I
know! I'm a freak!) Every once in awhile
something will be on TV, lets say a zombie
movie and I will smell rotting flesh from
the zombies and I actually gagged because
of it. I don't know if that happens to
everyone or not, but if it does they don't
talk about it. Have you ever seen The
Grudge? Well thats another thing that set
me over the edge tonight with this whole
thing was that I saw that ghost in my
garage and it scared me to death. I was
just waiting for it to come after me, but
it didn't and went away ... that's never
happened to me before. Well, nothing big
like that, but I have seen bugs or specks
on the wall that wern't really there
before, but I think thats kinda normal? I
don't know what to think of all this.
I never stop thinking. My thoughts are
never ending and sometimes are extremely
negative and I feel like the only way
they'd stop is if I were dead. I'd never
commit suicide because I feel like thats
an act of selfishness, but I have thought
about it in the past.
Oh, and does it have anything to do with a
monotone voice? Other people and myself
have notices a slight change in my voice
as well, and it sounds like I'm boring or
like a robot kinda. I don't really know
how to explain it...
Also, a weird thing my brother said to me:
"You live in a fantasy world." I don't
like negative things so I try to avoid
them the best I can.
I know I prolly didn't post it all ... I
just need to know what you think, cuz if
it is schizophrenia I really don't want it
to get worse -- if it would? If it is can
it go away on its own?
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Philo
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2007 Posts: 331 Location: Montreal
Thanks: 4
Thanked:0
Posted: 11-09-07 10:52am
Depression sometimes causes psychotic
effects too, it doesn't have to be
schizophrenia.
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Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4159 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 159
Thanked:16
Posted: 11-09-07 11:02am
Hi Mary!!
I read the first two paragraphs of your
post, and thought yes, that certainly
sounds like an anxiety disorder! And then
I read about the flat affect (that's the
monotone voice thing) racing thoughts,
grandiosity (the psychic thing) and
thought, huh, I don't know.
You are 22, that's young, and psychiatric
symptoms evolve around this age. You will
need an ongoing assessment from a
professional clinician.
If it's bipolar or schizophrenia that
you're starting to see develop the earlier
you get treatment the way better off you
are. It's a brain disease, and like
diabetes, if left untreated you get sicker
and sicker. However, if you take care of
it sooner than later, you can live
normally.
I hope you get to see someone, and I hope
you'll stick around and post more.
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woops
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Jul 2007 Posts: 224
Posted: 11-09-07 17:13pm
I know that this doesn't have anything to
do with the post, but what is your
birthday, mine is august 29, I turned 25,
it sucks. Is your birthday august 29 by
any chance.
On your post though. I'm not really sure.
Maybe there is an evil ghost trying to
exact it's revenge on the human race.
Stay away from psychics, they are freaking
retards, and they don't realize it. Ya
know, it could just be sorcery, your
hallucinations and your strange thoughts.
I met a black witch one time and he made
me hallucinate with a "poem" that he
recited to me, I guess you never know when
it is drugs, or a mental condition, or
sorcery. Oh, and your paranoia. Well,
that seems sane to me, people suck most of
the time in horrible ways.
Oh well, life is good right!?
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maryc1
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2007 Posts: 3
Posted: 11-09-07 17:29pm
*haha* Thanks for your posts. My birthday
is August 5th. Yea I don't know, sometimes
my mind plays tricks on me so hopefully
it's nothing to worry about. If things get
worse I'll let someone know.
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 11-12-07 17:33pm
Earlier is better, because untreated
schizophrenia will get worse with time.
