Hi there. Im 28 and have had depression for about 15 years. I seem to be just drifting through life not really caring about much. i dont have any passions or things I am good at (except being depressed) and feel like this will never go away.
I take anti-depressants but they only seem to work for a little while. I dont have any energy and dont go out much. I dont have any friends either and I feel like a burden on my family. They dont understand that I cant just 'fix myself' and it will all be better.
I think about suicide everyday (dont worry I have no plans to) and feel utterly hopeless about life. I have thought about moving and starting over somewhere but I cant escape from my own head.
I dont know how to help myself. I have an auto-immune condition that makes it hard to exercise (I know that helps with depression) and makes me very tired and weak. All I want to do is sleep all the time.
I came out of a serious relationship about a year ago now. I initiated the break-up because I thought that it was making me unhappy. Now I realize that I am more unhappy without him but he has moved on already.I have no idea how I will meet someone else and feel pretty lonely.
I have also started cutting which I have never done before. I think I do it just to feel something.
First of all, what anti-deppressents are you on? Reason I am asking is that there are "short acting" and "long acting" anti-depressents. For intstance, Xanax is a short term hard core medication used for severe anxiety attacks and are to be taken when the attack is first onset. I life is very short, but very good for a severe attack. Now, take Klonopin for intstance. That is a long lasting blood level medication that stays in you system for a longer leangh of time. Which enables you to have less onset of major attacks.
You might want to tell you doctor and see if something else might help better.
I take Klonopin and I too also have auto-immune condition. I have no engery anymore. I too spend a lot of time in bed when not ont the computer. Some days my legs hurt so bad, I can hardly walk. I start PT this month.
Hope this helps and if there is anyone out there that is experiencing the same thing, let's hear from ya.