Frustrating! Dreaming About Ex.

im sorry eiri

was it a bad break up if you dont mind me asking?

Not really. It was completely my choice and we never fought during the relationship or anything. But it seemed sudden to him and I gave absolutely no choice to "try" for a few months.

all i can say is i am sorry as i am still with my first bf ever... ummm maybe you should start lookin for someone new...

I have been! They're all too juvenile XD And no one cute either. Believe me; I've already been asked out but he's a toad!

lol i think i read something about that... the toad thing... just make sure that you arent looking for your ex in a new guy... which would understandable considerig how long you were together... good luck hun

ahh best thing to do is ont try and find someone

let them find you

lol well still good luck... and keep us updated k?

I'm no dream expert by any means, but they usually mean something. Nobody that has been in a relationship likes to be alone. Nobody to cuddle with, talk to, ummm....well you know with. You put on a great front making everyone think your ok with it, only your mind is telling you different.

I would say your dream meant that you like your ex as a friend and your ok hugging your friends, but you don't feel comfortable kissing him because you don't kiss your friends. Ok, that didn't come out the way I wanted it to.
Eiri, I think your subconscious is telling you that you don't feel attracted to your ex enough to kiss him, but hugging is ok, because everyone needs a hug once in a while.

I hope you find a big strong man who will treat you like a queen, but be in touch with his softer side and not be a boy part.

The dreams are normal. You were really close to another person and now that person isnt around anymore. Whether its a friend, family or animal you still miss them. You might not be all in love but I am sure you miss the companionship especially since you were together for 3 years. As time goes on this weirdness you are feeling will fade away. Its only been a couple of months and your soul is trying to adjust.

I also think dreams mean something, but I think you are feeling lonely and hes the only man you have known.

when you say things are normal between you now, do you mean you and him are talking again...?

long relationships are tricky, especially when it's your first, and especially when you are relatively young and the person has taken up and shared what is proportionally speaking quite a large portion of your life. i feel for you cos i was in a 2 and a half year relationship from the ages of 16 to 19. he was my first long term boyfriend, the first person i slept with. i loved him, i suppose. it's hard to say when you look back in retrospect. but like you have described your ex, he was weird. i tried to convince myself that weird was endearing, but really it was just weird!!! having had the time away from him i see now that you can still be unconventional and individual without being that weird. i mean, i couldnt take the guy anywhere cos he had such limited social skills. he didnt click with any of my friends or vice versa. his humour was so obscure and in a lot of ways he was really childlike. in terms of physical attractiveness we were on totally different planes. so much so that we would get double takes from people when we went out together. but i looked past this. despite all this he was a warm hearted person, polite and generous, with a really balanced view on life. and above all i knew he loved me; he absolutely worshipped the ground i walked on.

i let the relationship go on so long because of shyness and low self esteem, i suppose. i was afraid this could be the best i could get. i was afraid noone would ever love me as much as him. it took every bit of courage i had to break up with him because i was closer to him than i'd ever been to anyone before. as horrible as it sounds, he was almost like a safety blanket or something. and i couldnt shake off the idea that i was missing out on things by being with him. so i broke up with him. cut all communication. i have never seen him since. i really needed that clean break. i couldnt have f****d about 'just being friends', i just dont see how it would have worked. it was the best decision i think i ever made in my life. i'm sure your decision was for the best too. it sounds like you had underlying doubts.

well anyway, only a matter of weeks after breaking up with him i started making friends and going out more than ever and i stumbled across my boyfriend i'm with now. i dont even think about my ex anymore. these feelings you have will stop with time. if it feels like you will be lonly all your life, let me assure you, you will not. you will find someone who you will love and who will love you, and who is better suited to you. and you wont dream about him anymore

i think cutting out communication may be what is needed to really get over him properly.

i'm sorry if it seems like i'm babbling about experiences a lot, but i think sometimes the best way for me to relate to someone is explaining how i felt in a similar circumstance.

when i broke up we were both in a state of disbelief i suppose. it hadn't sunk in for either of us. half of me completely repulsed by him, but half of me was clinging on to him. i guess in some ways i wanted to have my cake and eat it, because it was me who initiated the break up, i wanted to be independent and get on with my life without him, but i wanted to have him there when i felt i needed him, too. for a couple of weeks after the break up we would send letters talking about it and how we were feeling, and we exchanged phone calls too. after a while when he saw discussing it wasnt gonna get him anywhere he sent me a letter saying he didnt want to hear from me or see me again. this was like a kinda of wake up call for me that it was really happening. i was so upset that he was cutting me out like that and for weeks all i did was cry. but i knew he was doing it because he couldn't function otherwise. so i respected his decision and i didnt try to contact him. during this time apart it gave us both a chance to get on with our lives and be able to move on. for 2 years i didnt hear off him, then out of the blue, as if he was sending an olive branch, i got a cd from him in the post. he wasn't angry anymore and he wanted to be friends. we started emailing and texting each other. for a while it felt amazing to know that he wasn't hurt anymore and my feelings of guilt were lifted from me. but then after a while it started to feel weird. i didnt know what kind of relationship was forming and i wasn't wholly comfortable with it. i started to notice all the things that had so annoyed me about him before, and it was like he was getting too close for comfort. after a few forced attempts at keeping contact, i just stopped replying. now i dont feel sad, i dont feel guilty, i dont miss him. at all.

so what i am basically getting at, is that i think perhaps in your case it may be the best thing for you both if you cut out contact with him. although it seems cruel, for me it was definately the kindest thing for us both in the long run. this man was obviously a huge part of your life - you were engaged! i dont know how it can be benefitting either of you to keep in contact. at least not until the dust has settled and you have both moved on. ask yourself are you keeping him as a friend for the right reasons, or because a little part of you just doesn't know how to let go?

that's another small essay over lol. if i have misenterpreted anything you've said, apologies

I don't really want to be friends with him; and he actually got rather strange the two or three times I flat out said that "no, nothing is going to happen". Every time he got quiet for a few weeks. He still creeps me out :/ ha XD