What Are Your Reasons?

I'm glad I am not the only one asking this obvious question.

So far I have not heard a rational reason why they rush into motherhood before they:

1) Finish their eductation
2) Get a job or career
3) Meet a man who also accomplshed the above 2 things.
4) Maintain a stable relationship with him
5) Save money.
6) Get engaged.
7) Get married,
8 ) Move in together,
9) Support themselves
AND THEN
10) Have a baby.

Here is a common scenario:

The teen doesn't like school, doesn't want to get a job, and/or wants to escape their home life.

Somehow they think getting pregnant and being a teen mom is a career/job. They have no idea about a father for the child, having an intact family unit (marriage) which also benefits the child, and most importantly, they have no idea how much work and money it all takes.

It is tragic that 80% of them go on welfare and live in poverty.

i think that is also very sad and unfortunate for them and the baby.

and i agree you should wait till you have finished all of that first, but im still open to hear stories!

Me, too.

hopefully someone will post one...

I don't think they will because usually here is how it goes:

The teen wants a baby and finds this forum.
She writes a post about it.
People either get excited with her or dash her with reality.
If it's the latter reality one,
Teen stops posting.

In this thread, you've circumvented the whole thing, and stopped them in their tracks by posting the thread-ending reality part FIRST, lol!

well the people who are on here anyways that are always posting im curious to hear their stories as well. everyone has one so why not share it? i would share my story if i had been pregnant and i can share a story about how scared i was when i had my past little pregnancy scares, so why not?

No, you are right.

I'll tell you my story then.
I am 18 years old(19 tomorrow!),I have a 17 month old son who is the light of my life.The father and I are still living together but it is hard.There are days that I feel like giving up,taking my son and moving out,become a single mom.The reasons for wanting that are a bit too personal to share with anybody.It's a lot of hard work being a mom,half the time I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing or I'm not doing enough of the right thing.While I was pregnant I was a mess,I was emotional,crying all day or so excited,there was never a middle ground.After my son was born I was told by my doctor that I was suffering from post partum depression bordering on post partum psychosis(sp?).It was scary,and without any family around to support me I was terrified to be alone.I've gotten over it now,but the first year of my son's life was hell for me.I love him a lot,he is my whole world and I couldn't imagine life without him now,but I wouldn't wish that year on anybody.I don't understand these 15-16 year olds that want to get pregnant,I was 16 when I got pregnant,I didn't even know what I wanted out of life at that point.I still have so much life yet to live but now I have to work my life around my son.I can't just be a teenager anymore,I can't be spontaneous anymore,I can't even hear about my friends trips to Europe,or about the great party they had gone to the night before without feeling a bit jealous.In my head I scream at all the young mothers who just hand the child off to grandma and go out for some fun because I can't do that.
Don't get me wrong or anything,I love hanging out with my son and I know that my son and I have a really strong bond which is awesome,but there are days when I want to be able to feel like myself,I want to go out and have some fun with people my own age.But when you're a mom,you have to grow up and realize that your child is more important and more fun than anything you could be out doing.
All this is just my opinion.

Thanks for tha awesome post, sweet_mom. I hope all the teens that want to get pregnant read your story first and WAIT until they are older and more emotionally and financially secure before they have a child.

So why did you have to be so far from your family? That is really hard, especially where you were still technically a child yourself, to have to leave your own parents and siblings.

I left the province that my parents were living in because at the time we didn't get along and because where I moved to had a lot of work opportunities.But now I am a stay at home mom,so the whole work thing didn't work out for me.It's okay though because my boyfriend makes $150,000 a year,so I don't have to go to work and I don't need the child tax benefits or any other handouts from the government.I'd love to go back to work and help out with the finances but it really isn't worth it where I live,the childcare costs are extremely high.Therefore I am a babysitter and make a few extra bucks to help out that way.Which really works out for me because I love kids,my son always has someone to play with and I don't have to have any more of my own kids!

thanks for your story it was really awesome. im sorry it was hard on you, but i am glad you are happy now! im sorry you and your parents werent getting along t the time. but i hope this gives some girls a more realistic look at what might happen to them, that its not all cute and fun even if it may look like it.

ill tell you my story

ive posted it on these boards a bazillion times

im suzy
im 16 yrs old and my bf travis is 17
we are haveing a baby girl named kristen taylor in a few weeks. im 8 months pregnant

im freaking exited
dont ask me about money because ive got that whole thing wayy under control
we both work
we have well off families
we live together
we both attend homeschooling

and anything else you want to know just ask

Sounds AWESOME.

the one thing I don't understand about pregnant teens is when they say their families are well off...I'm a teen parent and that fact didn't even enter my mind.
What does your family being well off have to do with you being pregnant?
I'm not trying to sound rude or anything but your parents really have no financial obligation to this child,sure they can spoil the hell out of it but their financial state shouldn't even be in your mind when it comes to the baby.

Most of the teens I've seen on this forum don't even say that. They don't even think about the finances at all. They don't think about anything beyond how much they love babies, and a far second to that is, how much they love their boyfriend-of-the-month.

I don't know how anybody could even consider getting pregnant on purpose without being either married or well off financially themselves, well enough off so that they won't have to work.

If they aren't married, they are effectively single parents. How can a single parent afford a child? Where do the kids go when they work? How can teens make enough money on their own to pay all of their expenses PLUS childcare?

No kidding! I need to apply to wherever these girls are working...

I was 15 when i got pregnant and 16 when i gave birth. I worked two part time jobs while i was also attending school and nly gave them up when my back got so bad i just about get out of bed in the morning. I didn't plan to get pregnant, i couldn't take the pill so we used condoms and we were just one of the couples in the small percentage.

I finished school and did my exams while i was 2cm's dilated and days away from my edd. (i'm from england so i'm not a dropout).

And just to add in my parents arn't well off infact they only just managed to scrape by when they had me and my sister so i don't rely on them for money, i was getting maternity pay from one of my jobs i had prior to pregnancy and that ended about 1 month ago and my boyfriend works to support out daughter.

wow that must have been hard to continue doing all of that. were you scared when you first found out you were pregnant? what went through your head?