My mom also has cancer (lung)and is in second stage. Hospice real soon. I feel for you. Are there not places where you live, like shelters or something that would take you in? You should NOT be out on the streets homeless.
First thing is, all you can do is let you dad know you love him. I know it is hard to visualize things without him. I am going through that with my mom. I wish I could take some of her pain away. I really think you need some very invasive counsuling and soon. Please do that for yourself. I am sure you can get on a state program of somekind. Or just walk into you nearest mental facility and they have to see you. But, whatever you do, please get help soon. You have been through to much already. It brought a tear to my eye when I read you post.
Please keep in touch!
Carrie