I have met this wonderful person through an online browser game where we used to be virtual enemies. After some time, we started talking on several messengers as well as in voice chat and we became best of friends.
In the meantime I fell in love with him. I told him how I feel and his response was quite devastating. He said that he just knows that if I really knew him, I would leave him like all the other women did. And since he is taking care of his parents and his youngest sister, he has to stay focused and can't get himself involved as this may be destructive to his family, himself as well as to me and my daughter (he did try to committ suicide at one time and his best friend DID committ suicide - so he's been through a lot).
He said he does things that I would never be able to cope with and that this would be worse than the most horrible heartache I have ever felt. We have been friends for almost a year now and have met several times in real life.
We even went camping one time and slept in the same tent. All I can say is that he has been the perfect gentleman and he takes care of me and helps me whenever I need him. I also do many nice things for him which he always appreciates.
But when he gets in his dark moods, he doesn't want to be bothered and plays CounterStrike a lot in order to get rid of his built up anger. Sometimes he tells me he only wants to talk to me.
However, lately he isn't talking that much anymore and he doesn't call anymore like he used to. The only thing which has stayed the same is the fact, that he seems happy when I send him a message or when I call.
My question is: should I leave him alone when he is in his dark moods? Or should I continue to be the one who always makes the first move?
Is he just being pollite or do I actually help him when I show him that I do care about him? I even thought about asking him these questions myself but I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable.
He keeps telling me that he never wants our friendship to end and when I was hurt by the fact that he couldn't respond to my feelings the way I wanted him to, he said he wished he could take the pain away from me and that he was sorry.
I mean, how many guys do you know who stick around after such a confession? Most guys run like hell - excuse my French.
But he is always there for me and when I had a problem once with someone who tried to rip me off, he even wanted to fight for me.
He is the most caring person I have ever met in my life - that's why I love him so much. I know he has a dark side to him - he told me so. But he has a right to be happy just like everyone else.
The only thing I have noticed is that he tends to forget things that he said he would do - like draw a picture for my daughter or burn a CD for me, stuff like that. That's why he says he hates to make promises.
Bottom line is: since I am so much in love with him, I tend to take things personally and I am really hurt when I don't hear from him when I know it has nothing to do with me.
I just want to act in the most appropiate way towards him and I want to help him to become a happier person.
What can I do to help?
