If you want someone you can love and cherish and spend time with, you should focus on those you have! There are plenty of people to love. I'm sure you have a strong, caring family. You are engaged! Enjoy your fiancee, be with him, and cherish time with him.

Having a baby is really hard work. I would personally say that fifteen is even too young to have sex, but as long as you are in love and RESPONSIBLE, it is okay. I would think twice about having a baby right now. Make a list of the pros and cons. It isn't all just giggles and love. There are some really tough times, all nighters, tantrums, scares, and times where you just don't know if it is worth it. Of course, it is ALWAYS worth it to be a mother and completely rewarding, but it is NOT easy.

You are fifteen. Who will take care of the baby? Who will provide for it? At fifteen, you are lucky if you can even find a job, and if you do it's probably at minimum wage. It is not fair to put the financial burden on your parents! Who will take care of the baby while you are at school? Will you drop out? If you do, how will you get a degree to make money to pay for the child? What happens if you and your fiancee break up? You are still so young!

You won't be able to go out and go on trips and see the world. Time with friends will be extremely limited, and you can't go to half the places you wanted to go to before because you have a little one to worry about. There will be doctor bills, food, clothing, etc.

I would think twice.

What is wrong with just getting a pet to love and cherish?

I think that before having a child, you should be able to rely on your partner to love, cherish, spend time with, share happy and sadness with etc... It’s a baby, not a best friend. There's more to it then just loving.

And Penguin is right. I wasn't able to get a real job until I was 16. How will you work?

There's nothing wrong with wanting a child. And sex and being engaged, that’s your decision. But are you absolutely sure you want to pass up all the experiences a normal teen goes through? It’s like hitting the fast forward button and you're going to miss out on a lot just because you'll be taking care of your baby.

Ah, you don't want a pet, too much responsibility! What do you do with them when you go to college? want to move? take vacations?


I think it's lovely that you're young and in love, congratulations on your engagement! You must be very happy! You should probably know that settling into a marriage is bloody hard work, as is maintaining a healthy one. Throwing a baby into the mix sure isn't going to make things any easier.

There's a good thread right now, started by futuredaddy about his situation with his girlfriend that he loved and wanted to become engaged to. They're currently pregnant and have realized they're in waaay over their head (over just a little first trimester moodiness), I hope you take the time to read it.

I think sometimes it's hard for someone who's not a parent to really see what parenting is all about. Especially as a teenager. It's not all about missing dances and parties, friends, hanging out, college or whatever (you'll probably be too tired to even care), but realizing that parenting isn't as exactly as romantic and wonderful as you thought it would be.

I love my daughter, I would not give her up for the world, and she's certainly the most fantastic thing in my entire life. However, I remember pregnancy (which sucked) birth (which was so horiffically awful I have actually blocked out big chuncks of if), and the fun of early baby hood.

I remember not being able to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time, I remember breast feeding until I thought my nipples were going to fall off, were covered in scabs, and bleeding through every feed. I remember pumping bottles that looked like they were more blood than milk. I remember sitting up wtih inconsolable (even though she was warm, fed, dry, clean, and should have been perfectly happy!) baby at 3 am night after night while I cried harder than she did and there was no one to come and help me (even though I lived in my parents house). I remember toddler temper tantrums in public. I know that a pissed off toddler is a force to be reckoned wtih. I know that my three year old gets pissed off over things such as a food item that has not been wrapped/unwrapped properly, one loop is bigger than the other on her shoe laces, the sky is blue, grass is green, momma won't let her have candy for lunch and sometimes for absolutely no reason at all. The rage a toddler experiences for absolutely no reason is really unbelievable.




This quote really struck me. I had the same feelings about having children when I found out I was pregnant. I said above that I love my daughter more than anything, but the last three years has been pretty thankless. Remember, they're not even verbal for the first few years. Your child is not going to be someone that will go through everything with you. You're going to have tough times, and you're going to have to do everything in your power to sheild your little one from it all and do your best to give them a real childhood. The relationship you're thinking of is one you have with an adult, not a child.

You seem like a smart girl. Have you talked to anyone about your feelings on pregnancy and wanting a baby? You're going to need a lot of help in the beginning,especially from your parents. You're going to turn their lives upside down, not just because they're upset their daughter went out and got pregnant, but because they don't want to have antoher baby (if they did, they'd have one), they may be planning retirement, sending you to college, moving, take more time for themselves, and here you'd be tossing a whole new heap of responsibility onto them. You owe it to them to at least talk to them before you go out and start trying for a baby.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I'm a teen mom. I've been through it.

You're so right. I forgot has much more responsibility a dog was compared to a child.

Please tell me I'm just misunderstanding your sarcasm? If they can't handle a pet then how in god's name can they handle a child? At least getting a pet would be a small substitute for the now-- Am I being stupid and really just don't understand?

ummm, ya. You did.

Did you read my post? Was there a single thing in it that might encourage any 15 year old to actually go out and have a child?

Though for the record I do think a pet is a lot of responsibility, I wouldn't voluntarily take it on at 15.

Ok, I know I did read the rest of your post- I guess my jaw just dropped when I read the first part. Sorry about that and I hope you don't take offense.

A pet is a lot, I agree there. But I think it having a pet would be a good way for someone to see how much responsibility a kid actually is don't you? Better they learn that way then getting pregnant and realizing its not all fun after it's been done right? It seems like a sound alternative to me.

prettygirlygirl, that was a beautiful and intelligent post you made about the trials and tribulations of being a teen mom.

I agree! It was very well written and informative. Any young person thinking about having a child should read your post to better understand what parenthood is like!

Can I ask why you want a child at such a young age? Is it purely someone to love and spend time with? If so, have you thought about the realities of having a baby (financially, emotionally)?

Try thinking about this from a different perspective - can you and your partner give a child the stability and life you would like them to have? Will you be able to finance a child for the next 20years (or more) of your life? What about your plans apart from being a mother, surely they will be compromised.

I think that "wanna play" is just playing with us.

I sincerely hope so, 15 and trying to get pregnant?!

DING DING DING. I believe we have our winner.

Wannaplay sounds like that line was taken straight off of an afterschool movie about teen parents.

rofl!

If you're not a faker then i will tell you exactly what i tell every other teen that comes on here. i was 15 when i got pregnant and 16 when i gave birth and i would not recommend it to anyone, in my opinion activly trying for a baby this young really is not a good idea and i have no idea why anyone would want o lose their friends, have no money and go through pregnancy and labour at 15

That was an excellent, honest, and to the point post, Dannzibelle. I hope to GOD every teen reads it who is considering having a child.

someone caring? sweet? cute? loveable? adorable? loving? fun to play with? cuddleable?

PUPPIES.


your 15 right? ill never understand this how people so young think its easy to take care of a child! it is not. its hard long work. your role as a parent never ends. its not like you can just go to school leave your child at home, unattended, and forget about begin a mother for 6 hours of your day. some people when they become a teenage parent do rise to the occasion and shine like no other, but i am sure they would choose a different life for their child. you have to spend almost every waking moment of your pregnant and parenting life worrying, caring, trying, exhausting yourself for your childs benefit. personally i want kids (i do) not now, i'm only 18. i don't have the money or the environment i want to raise my children in. i want them to have a life that I would want; something that they can live and thrive in and have fun doing so. i know that when i was born i was more than a handful i was born about a month and a half early my lungs were not fully developed i was constantly crying when they brought me home i didnt want to eat they had to buy special diapers for me doll clothes , and even special sized bottles. and my parents (god grace them) adopted me i wasnt their own flesh and blood, but they take care of me and love me and hell i might as well be. i know that if i had a child right now with as many problems i had i would not know what to do. i still believe that at 14, 15, 16,etc. you are not ready financially, maybe maturity but not always ( not usually), and you need help. the most important thing when you have a child is YOU. if you are ok then your child will, because you provide and care and are one of the most important people in this. but in doing so you have to sacrifice so much for your child. time,energy, friends, sometimes school, in some cases family. if you really want someone that you can care for love and play with get a puppy a kitten a rabbit a pet of some sort and TRY to take care of that ALL ON YOUR OWN. buy the food clean up after it feed it give it water play with it train it hold it love it walk it. if you cant make a good home for a pet how on earth will you beable to take care of a child? a dog isnt half the work another person is so make sure you take that into account to.

littlemus, ditto to everything you said.

Agreed! And saying its too much responsibility for a pet? I'm not buying it. These girls need some responsibility. They need someone or something to depend on them. And they need something to love that will love them back. A puppy has got all bases covered and will be a good learning experience for anyone saying they are ready for a kid.

I agree that they should be able to take care of a puppy, but will they actually do it?