I have had some skepticism about anal intercourse as well. I thought about having it with someone I love, but at the same time, I am really not into pain or discomfort... just pure pleasure.
My past experiences have been mostly alot of vanilla action, and my former partner and I have talked about it, we decided not to, basically because how we both were confomfortable with it.
I guess it is safe to say, a gay couple can have a romantic and intimate relationship without the need for anal intercourse. Sure, I may try it someday, but at the same time, being ready for it is a big thing.