So I Just Found This Out What Are Your Opinions Posted: 11-04-07 20:56pm
I was born and raised in hamburg new york
and my parents split up when i was 2 years
old and have since been remarried. I lived
with my mother until 4th grade then i
moved to my fathers until i was kicked out
when i was a junior in high school. All
throughout my life my grandparents have
basically raised me i was always over
there and had such a strong bond with my
grandfather even tho i lived with my
father he always found ways to spend time
with me and take me places and do things
with me and what not. Well this is where
the story gets alil twisted. My
grandfather dies in 2001 while climbing a
mountain in south america. I was the first
to find out and had to tell my grand
mother. It was the worst day of my life
not only did i have to witness here having
a heart attack and being rushed to the
hospital right infront of me at the age of
13 but i felt like a big part of me died
inside as well. My grandfather was my idol
and the most important person in my life.
Right after that happend my mother moved
to georgia. Basically running away because
she didnt want to "deal with my
grandmother" Well my father got a tip from
someone saying that i might not be his
son. So I was lied to by my father and
tested for paternity. he told me i was
being tested for cancer because it runs in
the family. When he found out i wasnt his
my life completly changed. He started
acting wierd and treating me worse than he
already did. For all i knew the last 17
years of my life he was my father. i just
found this all out about a year ago and i
am 21 now. because my aunt was drunk and
told me that he wasnt my father. like
everyone knew except me. Now my mother
knows who my father is and refuses to tell
me. and its really been bothering me. I
dont know how to explain what im trying to
say but i believe my grandfather was my
biological father and that my mother
doesnt want to reveal that to me because
she is afraid or embarrased. like how
could her father be my father right? well
heres another twist. my mother and my aunt
where both adopted because my grandfather
"couldnt have kids" But im thinking it was
the other way around i think my
grandmother was the one who couldnt bare
children. so yes he was her non biological
father but could be my biological father
at the same time and technically wouldnt
be incest would it? Im just thinking that
something happend between him and my
mother and she is afraid to admit it
because she is disgusted or embarrased.
when my grandfather was alive him and my
mother did have a rocky relationship. Not
something i would call normal. I dont know
how to explain that as well But when i
confronted my aunt about it she acted
really wierd like yes thats whats happend
however im not the one to tell you. I
could just sense that was what she was
thinking. And also I believe my
grandmother knows this as well. But doesnt
want to admit it. The reason why im
thinking this? is that honestly more than
half the people that know my family always
commented on how i look just like my
grandfather and have alot of his traits in
every aspect. and the more i look at all
his old pictures and pictures of me i can
see the resemblence and its very very
strong and it kind of scares me how i
resemble him. Not in a bad way but a way
that makes me really want to findout the
truth and it really bothers me that my
mother will never ever tell me who my
biological father is and its been eating
at me ever since i found that out. Does
anyone have any thoughts on this?? I know
that i wrote a book here but im sorry I am
just venting how i feel and if i dont use
proper grammar and punctuation i apologize
|
marvel
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Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 1104 Location: Toronto, Ontario (but only a private message away)
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Posted: 11-08-07 12:39pm
Thank you for venting!
That's a very complex story, Layton108.
Have you tried talking to your grandmother
about it if she is still around?
Is there any way that you can get a test
to rule our your grandfather as your
father? Any DNA he might share with any
other of his biological children?
|
CarolDiane
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Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2396
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Hmmmm Posted: 11-08-07 13:42pm
I come to you with honest opinion here.
This almost sounds like it could have been
a "rape" case between you mother and her
father. It happens more often then none.
Or, they may have really had some feeling
for each other which is not a bad thing
either. Just taking a chance that the
child will come out healthy and in one
piece, and not deformed. Inter family
children do have that tendency. It would
not surprise me a bit if you were right on
this one.
A DNA would be conclusive but, they would
have to dig up the remains in order to get
any. I say, let the man RIP and if you
believe he was your father then you need
to go on believing that. Just remember the
good times you had with him and cherish
every memory.