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Erection Loss With Condom... Desperately Need Help...

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I'm a 19 year old male. I've been dating a girl for the past 6 months.

In the past week we've tried to have sex three times. Every time I attempt to go for the condom on the dresser next to us, I lose my erection and from that point on it's basically impossible to get a really good hard on.

We're both virgins, so I think this is fairly normal in guys my age. I just desperately want to just get this first time done with. This problem is psychological, as I have no problem getting erections through masturbation and foreplay prior to getting the condom.

Possible solutions:( Are they good ones?)
A shot or two to loosen me up.
Start exercising regularly to improve my confidence.
Having her put the condom on for me.

Comments on those or any other suggestions is very appreciated.
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replied November 4th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
try all 3 solutions

sounds like a mental block to me

why are you so eager to have sex for the first time? you said you wanted to get it over with? why?
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replied November 4th, 2007
Well, ever since I failed the first time, along with the other two times now, I am viewing it as a road-block. It's blocking my way to what great sex we SHOULD be having.

It's not a matter of not being interested... I'm very much in love with this girl, which is what is making this an even larger issue.
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replied November 4th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
well have you thought that maybe its your mind and body trying to tell you "no"
not yet
its not meant to happen yet?
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replied November 4th, 2007
I feel absolutely ready. When we're making out I get super hard.

The issue is when I switch from the natural process of foreplay to the cognitive, rational process of putting on a condom. And since this has happened more than once, it seems just ONE thought of going for the condom now makes me lose my erection.
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replied November 4th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
Maybe try make the process more sexy- ask her to kiss you or stimulate you somehow while you put it on, or ask her to put it on you, or stimulate herself, or something that doesn't make it seem completely boring and medical.
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replied November 5th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
I wanted to add- don't drink to "loosen up" before sex, it can make your sensations really dull and lose erections. Drinking may make you loosen up but it sure won't make sex great. Smile
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replied November 8th, 2007
I'm having the exact same problem, and it's incredibly annoying.

I want to have protected sex, because, frankly, it's fairly stupid not to at my age, and being the product of unprotected sex at a young age myself, I'm not to keen to ruin my long-term plans like my parents did.

However, any time a condom goes near my penis, it goes soft. I can be extremely horny at the time, and not even really thinking about the condom because my girl is putting it on and not me, but it still happens.

The only times I've had sex have been unprotected (other than the girl being on the pill), simply because it seems to be the only way for me to have it, but I really don't want to make it a habit, as going to the clinic is a real pain.

I've tried putting them on myself as practice several times, but the same happens. I find them really uncomfortable to put on, as I have a wide girth size, and as soon as it starts to struggle to go on, or once the rim of the condom starts to constrict my penis, it goes floppy.

Is there anything I can do?
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replied November 8th, 2007
Hey Valkarius! It's good to hear I'm not the only person here who is having the same issues.

I am a virgin, and have only attempted to have sex three times. Each time I went for the condom I went limp in a matter of seconds.

I'm not exactly sure what the solution will be, but I've implemented a number of possible solutions and hopefully they will produce results.

They include the following:

1. Consistently exercise (Boost energy levels and self-esteem)

2. Reduce masturbation, at least to the point of ejaculation

3. Seize looking at pornographic images

I'm hoping these will make a difference and I will post back if they do.

Do you have any other solutions you've thought of?
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replied November 8th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
I think what you actually need to do is #1 for sure since it's just plain smart, but don't bother reducing masturbation and don't CEASE looking at porn. Why do that? It won't help.

What you need to do instead is start masturbating with a condom on. No, it's not going to work right away, but you need to get your body used to wearing a condom. That's all. Maybe try only rolling it down part way the first few times, etc.
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replied November 9th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
And get your mind used to the idea that condoms are sexy too. Like I said above, try get the girl to do something that turns you on while you put it on, or try get her to put it on you in a way you find sexy.
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replied January 9th, 2009
Question
i have had the same problem with my gf and they r sum gd ideas4sure!me and my gf get so close,it not erect enough to go up there(we tried) so at the third time of asking! she wanting to know what it felt so we took it off! i inserted my penis into her vagina but no penertration! (we both virgins) didnt break wall i was wondering though can i catch anything i mean i was a little wet?
plse reply asap cheers
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replied January 9th, 2009
pronto condoms
look up pronto condoms on google if you have this problem, i've never tried them out, but they look like they go on easily.
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replied February 22nd, 2009
Erection loss
I don’t have any problem in sexual urge or erection but when I am use condom I am having erection problem. When I put on the condom my penis is still erect but after I insert in and stroke for a while the condom gets tight and rolled up at the head of the penis and apparently it becomes soft and I lose erection and as soon as I take off the condom and stroke again my erection comes back.
Please some one help me with it as we are planning.
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