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Too Tight?

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Well I am a virgin, but I have been dating an amazing person for some time now. Well he fingered me for the first time, and it was fun, but suprisingly painful. He only used one finger, but he said it was really tight. I feel so pathetic. I mean if thats all I can handle, how are we going to ever have sex. He has fingered me several times, and it has yet to become any less painful or stretch at all. What can I do? Is this a bad thing?
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First Helper young Girl
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replied November 3rd, 2007
Especially eHealthy
more lube

and be careful
he can scratch you by fingering you and it can REALLY hurt
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replied November 3rd, 2007
You're not alone. Im the same way. I talked to my Gyn about it (actually two Gyns), and she said she see's girls who are virgins every week who say it is painful to be fingered or painful to have a pap done because we are so small and tight. Its not abnormal, and bad or good I dont know. But it happens. Im -almost- at 2 without pain lol Gettin there. But it hurt for me as well with just one for quite awhile. (And there is/was Plenty of lube) So dont worry about it!

And one of them advised me to get some lube and slowly apply pressure to the bottom (towards the butt) of the vagina, stretching the skin. (And that is where it hurts the most for me, if I push on the front it doesnt hurt at all)
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replied November 4th, 2007
I am no longer a virgin, but when I was one, I know that it was VERY painful for me. One of the things that I started doing was just relaxing, which is difficult for me becuase I knew it was going to be painful. I just relax my body, close my eyes, and do my best to ignore the pain. We didn't really try fingering for very long because it was painful, so I went to the next step which was sex. At that point, I was so completely wet, and we didn't have much trouble getting it in. So, my personal opinion is to try to be wet, and just relax. A combination of the two should help ease that pain even a little bit!
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replied December 28th, 2012
vaginal penetration problems, vaginismus, help me, no sex
im a virgin, 20, my husband and i have been trying since 8 months but i am too tight and so he can't penetrate..
i take a lot of time to get wet and ready, but as a guy he's a quick-flash type so he can't continue foreplay for too long, i don't know what to do, i have checked a lot and i think i have vaginismus, and am definitely gonna go to a GYN, but i am just not able to relax, i forced myself to do so but every time he starts to try i tighten up (this happens while waxing also), and i get scared, and i tried my best to relax and told him not to stop pushing until it happens, but it just doesn't :'( i feel so embarrassed, i guess i haven't matured there as yet..but if so many people can do it at the age of 14 then why not me?.....please help..he lubricates and everything, but until i am ready its no use even with a water tank!
thanks in advance..
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replied January 7th, 2013
I actually kind of have the same problem, though I am only seventeen, I really love my boyfriend and really wanna take the next step, but everytime he tries to penetrate down there, it hurts, funny enough it hurts more when he tries with the finger, I am really worried about it, but I don't know what to do, I talked to my mom about it, she adviced me to check the net, or talk to a doctor about it. That's what I'm gonna do Smile
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replied November 4th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
sex is never supposed to be painful EVER

if it is then youre doing it wrong
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replied November 4th, 2007
I never said it was painful...and it can be painful if the penetration is too deep. As a matter of fact a lot of women expericene pain the first time they have intercourse. If a woman is too tight, or there is not enough lubrication, it can be painful...every woman is different...for instance one of my friends was able to experience fingering and sex without any issues (Maria) , and for another on e of my friends (Aggie), it was very painful for her the first few times. It isn't unusual for a woman to feel pain...
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replied November 4th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
AAAAARGH.

No (*normal*) girl is too tight for sex if she is of the proper age.

Using lube, making the girl relaxed and being READY for sex will ensure a painless experience. Initial penetration should NOT be painful unless you are one of the rare women with thick hymens.

If sex is painful despite a loving and caring partner, you should seek out a gynecologist. It is most likely an actual problem, and NOT your fault or the fault of your partner.

Again, for NORMAL women, sex should NOT be painful. Is it common? Yes. That's because most people have sex WRONG the first few times. A girl has to learn how to relax the vaginal muscles and allow penetration. That takes practice, or (as most women deal) just suffering.

On the note of deep penetration: yes, if the man goes too deep and hits the cervix, that will hurt. But that is not the normal pain discussed during sex. Most women are referring to penetration pain, and THAT is almost always avoidable.
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replied November 5th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
The fact that you're a virgin has nothing to do with how tight you are. Virgins are able to have pain free sex unless something else is going on. Your vagina is all muscle and doesn't just loosen up when something goes in there, it expands and contracts as you squeeze or loosen the muscles. And when you're turned on, it expands and swells and creates lubrication (so you feel loose), but always goes back to it's original size.

SEX SHOULD NEVER HURT!!

Love your vagina!
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replied August 12th, 2009
Before I lost my virginity. My boyfriend used to finger me using 1 finger. It felt good and he asked if I wanted to use 2 and I said idk because it is going to hurt but he did, and the he was like guess what, am using two fingers then I started bleeding. Then we stopped fore playing. I thought I wasn't a virgin because I bled and when I actually had sexually intercourse, it Hurt like hell, and to my surprising I was bleeding. A lot. And we did it twice after and it hurt so I just don't have sex anymore. I don't think anything is wrong with. you just have to be relax and really wet and ready for penetration.
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replied January 18th, 2010
Smaller women have always been better built for sex. Now the secret is out.Tightness, firmness and a hard little body is a contributor to why most male pornstars prefer these girls to the taller more heavier girls. More and more men in the industry notice these girls having more extreme multiple orgasms and a much higher sex drive with endurance and stamina which makes for great porn thus has been well received by the porn industry.These women are usually 115lbs and under hard to believe these little sexpots are among the highly regarded by many in the pornographic world in this day and age.
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replied January 18th, 2010
Community Volunteer
lil95 wrote:
Smaller women have always been better built for sex. Now the secret is out.Tightness, firmness and a hard little body is a contributor to why most male pornstars prefer these girls to the taller more heavier girls. More and more men in the industry notice these girls having more extreme multiple orgasms and a much higher sex drive with endurance and stamina which makes for great porn thus has been well received by the porn industry.These women are usually 115lbs and under hard to believe these little sexpots are among the highly regarded by many in the pornographic world in this day and age.


That is ridiculous..Rolling Eyes ....
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replied January 18th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
Yeah sorry Lil95
It may be true that you have a more robust sex drive but it's not to do with your body type. Most of the women I date are smaller in stature and there is a wide range of sexual performance amoung them. There is a reason smaller girls are in the Porn industry but it's not about sex, it's about pornography.
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replied April 14th, 2010
i have a boyfreind and he comes too fats and he awalys says that its cuz i am too tight, the other day i was whit some one else and it happen the same thing is there something wrong whit me
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replied October 17th, 2011
Tightness continues
I'm 36 and have been sexually active since 17, always with lube, and always trying to make myself feel relaxed. I've had a dozen patners - most os them daring. I have never found sex pleasurable. I put up with it. Aren't there vagibal positioners? I'm so tight.
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replied January 10th, 2012
most guys don't take the time to get the woman they r with ready. making her ready will ensure a more satisfying sexual experience for both the man and woman
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replied April 22nd, 2012
Extremely eHealthy
There has been some utter rubbish posted on this thread.

People should realise other people have feelings and if they are troubled enough about something to ask a question the chances they are sensitive about the issue is very high. Being judgmental or giving mis-information could scar someone mentally or emotionally for life, especially the young.

A vagina, like the penis, is not issued by mother nature from a one-size-fits-all catalogue of body parts but like the rest of the bits of the human body, they arrive in different sizes, shapes and textures...

A small vagina and a large penis will often result in discomfort or even pain during sex, sometimes for the man as well, and as one poster remarked, can result in the man not lasting very long, though this has more to do with the internal texture than the fit...

Some women will find their vagina loosens somewhat over time after regular sex, especially if they do sedentary work and don't take much exercise. Some women will always have a small vagina, even after childbirth...

Childbirth does alter the geography and the capacity of the vagina somewhat but this is more in some women and less in others - while some women believe this is an improvement, others believe it is the ruination of them!

This is a very wide subject and there are few right answers so it is impossible to give specific answers in many cases. It is up to the people involved to know their bodies (and their minds) and to discover their own right answers.

Fingers also arrive in different sizes and textures - some guys have hands like bunches of bananas and a finger can be larger or thicker than a penis and have a texture like sandpaper...

One fact is clear and that is if a woman experiences pain from "fingering" or from sex the chances are high that she isn't ready, she isn't relaxed or has some sort of mental or emotional block to penetration or the man has a great deal yet to learn.

My own opinion is not to use lube except as a last resort - for most people, most of the time mother nature knows best! The presence and amount of the woman's natural lubrication is a clear indication of how ready she is for penetration - if a woman in normal health isn't naturally wet enough for sex she probably isn't turned on enough for sex...

It is an inescapable fact some people, mostly but not exclusively women, cannot separate the concept of emotional or romantic love from the physical or sexual love and for those people one without the other will always be unsatisfactory or very difficult or even impossible...
One woman told me she can only get turned on enough for sex when her husband whispers all sorts of silly sugary nonsense to her during foreplay!

One final thought: When a woman porn star retired from the industry and was being interviewed, she said she had never had much pleasure from sex with well-hung men and she was now searching for a regular partner and his first qualification was to be his penis size - only men with a small penis need apply!
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