azurete, yeah, its a recurring thing. you might go for a year or so with out cutting, but somethin'll happen, and....well...it wont be pretty. and you're right, practicly only yourself or someone that has been through it, or is going though it, can help. i would like to help.

-james

Let's find out what is deppressing you. Then maybe we can get a hold of this and help you change it.

Carrie

I started again too...

me three

You think the holidays have anything to do with it?

i agree totally. this time of year seems to bring out all the bad thoughts. everyone seems to be depressed this time of year

The holidays have such expectations of happiness and appreciation placed on us we can't help but feel overwhelmed, not by all the happiness. But for many of the people on this forum like me, who instead of the happiness you are supposed to feel, just have emptiness inside you. And it depresses me, not feeling like they do, not being able to be happy and celebrate just because it is December. I can't feel those things. So i cut myself to let myself feel them. I tend to substitute alcohol for cutting over the festive period in the hope that i drink myself into a position that i can't cut. Tho sometimes all this ends up creating is a situation where i cut myself whilst drunk which only makes things worse.

I realise i actually have not said anything to encourage or help you. I will say this, if you have had the willpower to stop once you can do it again, it is something that will never ever really be out of your system that you need to accept. Your friend helped you stop once, perhaps he/she can help again. If you ever wanna chat just drop me a PM.

i deal with that urge everyday az, i totally understand. Please know that slipping a little bit doesn't completely undo all the progress youv'e made. Cutting is an addiciton like anything else, sometimes we fall of the wagon. It's ok. You recognizing that youv'e slipped and wanting to get back on track are sooo important. You seem to have a strong support system- use them.

Also, soemthing that iv'e found to be helpful in my "cutting sobriety" is to do things for myself, little tokens. You know how AA has those coins? 1 day sober, 30 days sober, etc? something like that. Something i can look at and say, look what i did. sometimes it helps put my anxiety into prospective.

It's not always easy, but you can get through it.

I know what its like to stop because of a friend and to start because of some happinings.
Just fight through the urges. I know its hard but you need to for that one friend that needs you.