Why Not Adopt?

"I think the idea that the majority of children rot in the adoption system is a little misguided."

I don't know if that was for me but hey! I'll reply anywho :p

I did not mean to imply that all children rot in the adoption system, what I was trying to say was that here in the UK we cannot 'pick' families for a baby before she is born, you do just have to hand her over to the adoption services and hope that before too long she'll be adopted into a loving home. You have no guarantee that your baby will be adopted, and no guarantee that the family who do adopt her will be the fantastic parents you hoped for.

Also, there are so many children, who as you said, did not enter the system as babies, so many children with special needs, with a different skin colour, all of whom are turned down in favour of the most common preference "white/newborn/non-disabled/preferably female". I would rather not provide yet another white newborn baby when there are so many born children fighting for a loving home already.

My best friend has an adopted little brother, her parents went out of their way to provide a home for a child with special needs, a beautiful 4 year old little boy, but they are the rare ones. They weren't waiting for a baby, a white baby, with no disabilities, as most prospective adoptive parents are. If I could:

1) Guarantee my baby a home before she was born
2) Have more faith in the adoptive system providing homes for black/hispanic/chinese/non-white/disabled/ over 2 year old children then I would consider adoption more seriously.

From what I've learned recently (all of this is in a couple of recent threads, with sources, etc.) babies are the most common aged child to be taken into foster care, and the younger they ar the longer they languish there. The problem is that mothers do not relinquish their parental rights until the children get older.

9 out of 10 teen moms bring their child home instead of putting them up for adoption. Since a large number of these parents cannot care for the children, they end up in state care ANYWAY, only everyone suffers a lot more, especially the children, this way.

That's because 9 out of 10 teen moms are 1diots who want someone to raise their snookums for free until they're at a more bearable age, and then Junior comes back home to the mom who didn't want him for seventeen years. One of my former classmates is doing this - she had a waif, is giving it up for adoption so she can get her degree for some bizarre non-existant field of work (like dolphin hugging or some crap) and then when Juniro is about two days shy of turning 18, she'll ask for him back.

Teen mothers don't think enough into their situations (usually) to realize they can't actually care for the children they create...just check out some of the trainwrecks over on eHealth's own knocked-up teen forum. It's too bad girls couldn't be required by law to get IUDs put in before puberty hits to prevent all these stupid teen girls from spawning and thinking it'll all work out, and thus adding more children to the system when Snookums gets taken away because Mommy was too busy spending quality time with her acid to notice Junior hasn't eaten for four days.

Why didn't I choose adoption?

Because I'm anemic and diabetic to begin with. I'm 40 hours away from any family. I'm living in a province in which I have no health coverage. My parents just lost both of their jobs so I can't expect money to come out of them. Because of this, I can't afford the proper nutrition, the doctors appointments, the exercise and all of the other things a pregnant women requires. I'm living on campus in a room the size of most people's bathrooms and I'm trying to attend university. I was on birth control pills when I got pregnant and therefore feel I took the necessary precautions not to get pregnant. My boyfriend is taking pills that have a very high risk of birth defect or miscarriage. I don't care how many times you meet the family that's about to adopt your child, you probably don't know them. The neighbor of a pedophile will most likely never even suspect him, and I'm not going to take that chance. Not every adoption ends up happily. And I was afraid if I carried the baby to term that I wouldn't want to give it up to some family I barely knew. I'm 18 and I know I can't afford a child and I won't have time for one until I graduate from university and am actually able to give my own child a good life.

Reptor, what you did was the most unselfish and caring thing out of all of your choices, in my opinion.

Why are you even on the pill?

If God wanted you to wait, he would keep you from getting pregnant without birth control. You're clearly defying his will!

Because of recent posts, I must verify that the above statement is 100% sarcasm.

You are almost the exact same age I was. You should go off the pill now and use some other form of bc 'till March. (JMHO).

My friends told me all sorts of dumb ways to ttc. The first month I waited too long in my cycle. Ideally you want the sperm to be there ahead of the egg.
For example:

If you ovulate on day 14, have sex the 12, and 13th. I waited until day 14, which was too late. The next month I did it in time and BINGO!

Your 35 and just starting, or planning, your family NA? I am 38 and my eldest daughter is just now in college.. *Feels old now*...

Jincks, my dad was 54 when I was born, lol!!!! I was 33 when I got married and 34 when my daughter was born. Think how old nightangel and I will be when we're chasing our teens around: 50 something. I feel old, lol!

rofl!!!!!!!!!!!