Why Not Adopt?

My interest, actually as a pro CHOICE individual is finding the best outcome for life's difficult situations. Outcomes that take all factors into consideration, weigh all the positive and negative aspects of each option and then choose the one which meets the needs of the majority of individuals and situations addressed. Does that make sense? Some of these might end up with abortion being the best choice for some, some may end up with adoption being the best choice, and some may be to have the child and raise it as your own. My interest would be in guiding the individuals involved to come up with a resolution that would be mutually beneficial and least negatively impactful on their lives. You have to take into account the unique needs of the two people directly involved and then go from there. Everyone has "rights" in these scenarios, but unfortunately the woman's right to have to bear siad children does trump all others because it is her body and her health which are being put in jeopardy by carrying and birthing a child.

Whoah run on sentence.... Did you do that because she does it?

lol!

I seriously think adoption is worse than abortion...so few people actually want to adopt because everyone thinks their genes are so damn superior that only their own biological children will be acceptable. Or they think that adopted kids 'are too messed up' or 'have too many problems'. Also, everyone wants perfectly healthy white blonde and blue-eyed babies - there are some agencies that won't even consider taking in a bi-racial child. Then there's also the actual agencies giving people a very hard time - if you're too fat or you smoke or you're a homosexual, you get shown the door and nothing else.

Adoption is wonderful when it's successful, but about 70 percent of the time, kids rot in the system until they are legally old enough to get tossed out (those who aren't perfect white American babies are the ones who get screwed). I really think that if the woman wants to put her child up for adoption, she needs to find a family to give her child to immediately (with a second one in case one of the families backs out) and, if she can't find a family for her child, she should get an abortion. What the hell is so humane about forcing a child to grow up with no family in a crappy home, and living with the knowledge that their own mother didn't want them? That's probably why a lot of kids in the system have problems - their fool mothers chose to dump them into the system because she's sooo pro-life and couldn't bear to kill her pweshus widdle snookums but thinks it's perfectly fine to inflict emotional suffering on said child when he's sentient enough to feel such pain.

I personally was always intending to find an actual family for an unwanted child if I gave it to adoption. Initially I didn't want to meet them or ever see my child again, but these days if I did give to adoption, I'd very specifically choose a gay couple and I would want to see my child

The problem is that when it comes time to hand over the baby, the pain is too much to handle so 90% of teen mothers keep them. I can understand that, as giving your crying baby away goes against every natural, biological, evolutionary force known to human kind.

What ends up happening frequently is that the teens can't take care of the baby and it goes into the foster care system, where it languishes for years because the mother won't give up her parental rights, and then the ones that do wait until the child has problems or perceived problems, and nobody wants to adopt them.

Indeed. I can certainly understand how hard it would be to give it away. Just like abortion, adoption is a choice you HAVE to make from your heart, and is not one you can be forced in to.

Childfree, huh?

Being born is such an amazingly complicated ordeal for a baby. They literally go from just existing, utilizing all of the mother's organs, to an independent, living, breathing little person. Those first breathes are HUGE.

When my BF and I talked about pregnancy and abortion I put it to him simply.. "If I ever got pregnant I will abort" end of story. I neither needed nor wanted his consent or input on it.
My body would be the one pregnant not his. I am not giving up my body for 9 months to someone else especially to someone who is physically unable to gestate.

My Body; My Choice.

I think adoption is more irresponsible than abortion. Here we do not have open adoption, I could not find a family beforehand for my child, I would've just had to hand her over and hope for the best. When there are so many children already in the adoption system here, families do not have to wait for my newborn, they could give a home to a child who has already been born. Hence why I had an abortion.

Well if there is no family for the child then obviously adoption is not an option. I firmly believe that no pregnant woman should just "give" the child into the system. They should be required to find a family that will take the child beforehand.

Because it IS the woman's choice, adoption must always be available. However I agree that if there is no available family, abortion is the better answer for a woman who cannot raise the child herself. Putting another baby in the system is NOT the answer. Those in the system already need to be adopted first.

I think the idea that the majority of children rot in the adoption system is a little misguided. Nearly all of the children who remain in the system are not children who were put there as babies, but children who were removed from homes where the conditions were inadequate. White babies are probably more in demand than non-white babies, but regardless-people want to adopt babies. They don't want children.

IMHO, whether or not adoption is good or bad depends on the mother, the father, and their situation. Same with abortion. I can think of plenty of situations where each one would be a bad idea in some respect.