I Dont Feel Like I Belong Posted: 11-02-07 03:11am
Hi everyone I am new here so here goes.
Well I guess i need to start at the
beginning.
I was in an accident when I was a child,
about 10, where I almost lost my life,
luckily i survived, but suffered the loss
of my left leg, I have become adjusted to
my life with being "not whole" so to
speak, I just wonder sometimes if the
people I interact with see me or see my
disability.
I am happily married to a great woman and
i have 2 wonderful little girls, when I am
around them i feel at ease and home.
However when I am away from them and
around other people whether it is friends,
IN-laws or people at work I cant help but
feel that they either tolerate me because
of my wife or because they pity me.
I am 26 years old and have had a lot of
loss in my life and I don't know if I am
just waiting around for the next big
"loss" or if I am just being paranoid. I
lost my father when i was a boy and the
only "real father figure" I ever had saved
my life when I had my accident but sadly
he passed shortly after my accident. I
have been really depressed lately and
anxious wondering what could possibly be
next on my list of screwed up things that
could happen in my life. I hate to see
pity on other people's faces but I know
that there is nothing I can do about that
I will see that forever. I am not sure
what exactly a MAN is supposed to be I
just try to be the opposite of people i
see that I don't consider to be "good"
people.
I guess in short I don't really know what
is going on in my life, probably just need
to talk and let a lot of built up
emotional feelings out, just wondering if
anybody had an idea of how to let out so
much stuff that has been built up for so
long that you don't know where to begin.
Well if you made it all the way to here
then you must be at least a little bit
concerned. please leave me a reply and let
me know what you think
