Got Me Steaming! (hallow-lame) Posted: 11-01-07 17:12pm
I planned out my Halloween in a way so
that I could fit in taking Rowan trick or
treating and then going out with my
friends to Kingston.
I was going to take her to Erik's mom's
side of town because she asked me to come
by so she could see Rowan and give her
some candy, and also Rowan's great
grandparents live around the block from
her and they wanter to see her too. It
would have been much easier just to take
her in our neighbourhood, but I knew they
all wanted to see her and I like doing
nice things for people.
I was going to take her out for about an
hour or so and then drop her off at Erik's
moms who agreed to watch her for the
night. Then me and Nathan would leave for
Kingston. She was fully aware of these
plans, and said she planned to hand out
candy during the evenings.
When I got her from the daycare yesterday
after class and brought her home I gave
her some food right away, and an early nap
so she wouldn't be too tired. Then I got
her dressed. I mean, I went out and
bought her a costume, I planned out the
night, and I got her ready. I did the
work part to prepare.
So me and Nathan drive to Erik's moms side
of town and we stop at her house first so
she can see Rowan and we can leave Rowan's
over night stuff there. Erik's moms
sister, sisters daughter, and sisters
grandaughter were trick or treating and
had just passed Eriks moms house before we
got there. So she yells at them to come
back and see Rowan, and they come and take
a picture of Rowan and start walking to
the next houses. Now I guess this is
where Erik's mom (I'll call her Theresa
from here on in because it's easier, and
because that is her name) decideds she is
completely gung ho about being a baby
stealer. So she GRABS Rowan from me and
says she is going to take her trick or
treating with her sister them. I say
"actually I was planning on taking her out
first". She turns around and ignores me
and starts putting on her shoes and steps
outside and closes the door. I say it
again, and she talks over me, making no
eye contact, but clearly knowing what she
is doing. I mean, it wasn't a
misunderstanding, she could hear me. I
say it about 4 times and reach to take
Rowan back and she keeps turning away and
talking over me and she says " I have to
go now" and starts walking across the
lawn towards them. Nathan is looking at
her, and then at me, and shaking his head
like "what the hell is wrong with this
woman". I was so mad at this point but I
couldn't really think of what to do. I
knew I didn't want to play physical tug of
war with Rowan or scream in the street and
infront of the baby. I was going to enjoy
all the candy we got trick or treating,
since Rowan obviously couldn't. I was
looking forward to taking Rowan out, and
getting to eat all her candy! So before
we left Theresa's house I run inside and
take her bowl of candy and empty it into
my plastic bag, and I also open the box of
candies on her table and take those too.
Then we leave and I start yelling all the
horrible names that she is and how much I
hate her. And Nathan, the good good boy,
just listens and agrees.
She is a teacher at my highschool and
Rowan's daycare is in the highschool, so
the plan was that I was suppose to leave
the carseat at her house and she would
drop Rowan off at daycare when she went to
work. Since she just ran off and and was
not listening to me I didn't think about
taking the carseat out of Nathan's car and
leaving it for her. I just couldn't
really think at that moment about stuff
like that. And frankly, when we had
already driven half way home and I
remembered about the carseat situation I
didn't care if she wasn't able to get to
work on time, or if she had to put Rowan
in the stroller and walk to work. I
thought it was sort of her own fault and
she could figure out a way to deal with
it, and it felt very nice inconveniencing
her... In the morning when she realized
she couldn't get to work she left messages
on my msn and phone saying "YOU GUYS
FORGOT TO LEAVE THE CARSEAT. Nathan needs
to come get Rowan I am going to be late
for work." I figured we aren't going to
drive around catering to her when she
thinks she runs the show, she can deal
with it herself, I'm not freaken waiting
on her and being her little b**** when she
completely disregards what I say and my
plans.
I was so mad. I hate her. She is a
worthless selfish human being. The other
thing that makes me so angry is that she
was the one who wouldn't let Erik sign
adoption papers (and I'm not angry at this
because I regret keeping Rowan, that isn't
what I'm saying) but now she acts like
she's lost interest in Rowan. Like the
novelty has worn off or something. She
doesn't ask to take her any more and
whenever I need a night off she is "busy,
sorry". The last time she had Rowan visit
we didn't set specific times for Rowan to
come home and she came here after having
Rowan at her house for only 3 hours to
drop her off. Is 3 hours too much to
spend with your grandchild now? Shouldn't
you want to be able to have her spend some
time with you? Did she think having a
grandchild would be amusing and fun but
now that she has a new boyfriend she
doesn't need Rowan to make her happy
anymore? Because I swear her motive to
stop the adoption was because she thought
a baby would be fun and make her happy.
She's completely mental, and selfish.
Since she started seeing her boyfriend she
has no more time for Rowan.
I was seriously so steamed, because what
could I do. I wanted to take Rowan out
for her first Halloween. I was the one
who planned it and bought a constume and I
was the one who got her ready, why should
she just get to take her and do the fun
part? What a ....asdkjahsdfasdfasdf.
ugh...
Anyways, thanks for listening. In the
spirit of Halloween I drew this picture of
Erik's mom (her face annoys the hell out
of me, and her voice). I'm not done but I
thought I would share.
This is so long, I don't know why stories
that only need a paragraph to be told
always end up being like whole books with
me. I wonder if anyone will read all the
way to here.
|
Mabel
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8947 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 179
Thanked:198
Posted: 11-01-07 17:19pm
((hugs))
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Marfa2107
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 1552 Location: Galena, Kansas United States
Posted: 11-01-07 17:24pm
I read it all tonya!
And im so seriously sorry that u didnt get
to spend rowan's first halloween with her!
I dont know what i would have done in a
situation like that...theres really not
much you can do...
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Bridget
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 10834 Location: ,
Thanks: 63
Thanked:42
Posted: 11-01-07 17:35pm
that's so unfair.
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AyaMiyaki
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 8497 Location: Floating on a cloud, United States
Thanks: 213
Thanked:15
Posted: 11-01-07 18:07pm
What a 'wh' word that rhymes with bore.
I
freaking can't stand people like that. I'm
so sorry, Tanya. I'm glad you didn't go
racing off to cater to her when she called
complaining about the carseat.
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 11-01-07 18:41pm
All I can say is Rowan is so lucky to have
you. You are young and busting your butt
to provide a good life for her. They
don't deserve her and if I may say, you
did a fantastic job of now blowing your
top when they totally disregarded your
wanting to take Rowan out for her first
Halloween.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks for the replies guys, I feel
better! That blueish stuff on her face is
suppose to be mold, or something... I was
also going to add scales and stuff. That
picture is pretty immature, haha, I didn't
need to post that!
We didn't go pick her up in the morning.
I went to the daycare after school and
picked her up from there. I haven't
talked to Theresa yet since then so I
don't know if she was late and how they
got there. I hope hope hope she was late!
There's no way in hell I would have let
someone else take my baby to do something
that I really wanted to do. Especially a
first like that. Who does she think she
is? I would have taken Rowan and left to
go back home and do halloween there.
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tigresacanela24
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Nov 2005 Posts: 5261 Location: Treat your children well, eventually they'll choose your nursing home.
Posted: 11-01-07 21:46pm
You are sooooo much better than me. There
would have been a fight going on like the
one between me and Miguel's mom. That
one's still going on! I'm glad you didn't
run over there with the carseat! That
hateful witch deserved to be late!
Actually she deserved worse but until her
day comes, that'll do.
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HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 8016 Location: Florida, United States
Thanks: 3
Thanked:1
Posted: 11-01-07 23:57pm
wow, that is sooo weird!!!
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sick_mama17
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jun 2007 Posts: 960 Location: , England
Posted: 11-02-07 02:31am
I would have called the police. She took
your child from you! You did really well
to stay calm and not turn it into a "tug
of war" with rowan as you said. Do you
want someone like that in rowans life? I'd
refuse to let her see rowan anymore and
have no more contact with her. Rowan will
be just fine without that woman in her
life, just because shes related doesnt
mean she has to be a part of your lives.
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Becky
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 6228 Location: London, England
Thanks: 0
Thanked:7
Posted: 11-02-07 02:45am
I wouldn't let her see Rowan either
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Amber*Marie
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Feb 2007 Posts: 1430
Posted: 11-02-07 07:12am
omfg! I would have seriously took Rowan
out of her arms even if I had to punch
that health forum in the face and I would
have told her she is to never see Rowan
again,
I have a lot of trouble with conflict in
real life. I don't like it, I can't think
of what to do in it, and I try to avoid
it. I would like to think if someone took
Rowan when I didn't want them to that I
would assert myself enough to stop the
situation. I mean, if she was in some
sort of danger I obviously would. I'm
just really bad at not letting people crap
on me. I'm sure if I was 100 percent
ready to act drastically I could have
stopped her from taking Rowan.
I don't think it would have been
beneficial to Rowan if I started screaming
and yanking her out of Theresa's arms, or
if I had tackled Theresa to the ground and
ran off with Rowan. I also don't think it
will accomplish anything to refuse to let
Theresa be in Rowan's life. Theresa
doesn't put her in danger and she does
love her. Rowan likes Theresa, and gets
excited when she sees her. I don't want
to deprive Rowan of a grandparent, and I
don't want to burn bridges. No matter how
much Theresa annoys me at times she does
love Rowan and Rowan does love her and she
helps more than any of Rowan's other
grandparents.
All that refusing to let her see Rowan is
going to do is create complete animosity,
and deprive Rowan of a relationship with
her grandmother.
Why would I strive for that?
It might be vindicating but I'm sure I can
handle it better.
I know from my post it might sound like I
am just really mad and immature but I am
capable of handling this in a kinder way
than Theresa deserves, and that is what I
will do. I'll just confront her and tell
her how she acted hurt my feelings and
upset me, and that I was unhappy about not
spending Rowan's first Halloween with her.
She can either understand and apologize
for her actions, or she can make excuses
for them and express no remorse. It
doesn't matter what route she takes
because I will have set a good example for
my daughter. I don't want Rowan growing
up to be confrontational (in a negative
aggressive way), revengeful, or spiteful.
I don't want her to be the type of girl
ready to rip someones head off at the
first sign of conflict. So I won't deal
with situations in that manner.
I'm not going to feel any better if she
never gets to see Rowan again, and I'm not
going to get Rowan's first Halloween back.
Instead I'll just give her the treatment
I hope I receive in the future.
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Marfa2107
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 1552 Location: Galena, Kansas United States
Posted: 11-02-07 13:29pm
Tanya!
i think that is the perfect way to handle
this situation.
maybe if you calmly explain how you felt,
she will be understanding
(atleast i hope so!)
and i think you are 100% correct in not
taking Rowan away from Theresa,
Rowan deserves to see her grandparents =)
you are being extremely mature about this
and i have the utmost respect for you!
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musikmaker
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 May 2006 Posts: 1773 Location: Chicago, US
Thanks: 12
Thanked:2
Posted: 11-02-07 13:45pm
Wow, you handled that allot better than I
would've. I used to freak at Dan's mom
because Luke would be wanting to eat and
she wouldn't give him to me. I don't know
she would listen to scream and insist that
he just wanted to be held. Hello! He was
smacking his lips and acting all hungry.
Bleh, what's up with our babies grandmas?