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My Son Hates His Mother

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My son (20 years) used to love her mother like anything she is also all time worrying for him and love him like anything but suddenly since last about 2 years my son started talking all rubbish about her that she doesn't love him, she never loved anybody she was only showing etc etc. My wife is a simple God fearing lady. but my son talks all unreal experiences, false beliefs about her without any expression on faces, as if he has lost all his emotions for all of us. he is not coming to home because he hates his mother i.e. my wife, so much that he becomes irritated to even hear about her. My wife never tortured him nor my son says so. neither he blames anything about her character etc but he suddenly started saying that her mother has made him high headed and she used to talk ill of everybody and poisoned him for all relatives and friends, till he was in touch with her
(which I know is not true, its normal gossips only which lady usually do about relatives friends etc and this is not a reason worth hatered a God like mother). Whenever I try to tell him that without you she and your 12 year younger sister are always crying for you, and ask him to come to home,he becomes irritated and start behaving like insane and threaten me of killing himself etc . he is doing engineering, doing not bad in studies, nice humble and very easy with everybody else but my wife whom he used to love like anything now he hates like anything. he is not going to doctor.Doctor has recently prescribed risperidone and escitalopram (cipralex) which he has started on my insistance(I feel he still respect me). What should I do? Will he behave normally and ever and come back to home?
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replied October 30th, 2007
Is It Schizophrenia?
My son has flat responce, he Preoccupied with unsupported doubts about my wife ie his mother Is it Schizophrenia?
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replied October 30th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
I'm sorry to hear this.
But I think that we all have very solid reasons to hate both of our parents.
I don't think that hating your mother is a good reason to be put on schizophrenic medication.
Shameful really.
I'm not saying totally hate your parents. There are also good reasons to like your parents. Although not many.
This is all a misunderstanding I think. There doesn't seem to be any communication whatsoever by what you are telling me, and if there is it would seem that it is not the right kind of communication, shrouded in unknowing. And it would seem that none of you in this circle try and understand what the other is going through.

Try and get at the heart of it. Why does he hate her, you didn't include that. Have you asked him why he feels like this? Although he may not be intelligent enough to explain it, that's always a problem.
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replied October 30th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
C'mon man, you don't dislike your parents at all?
Would you prefer to share anything with us?
There are no reasons for you to dislike your parents?
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replied October 31st, 2007
My Son Hates His Mother
My dear woops, after 2 years if suddenly a son start saying tht her mom pampered him just as a show off, used to brings cloths and everything just to show the world that she loves her son. Now when she cries to see him, he rather becomes violent for mother is showing again and making his position awkward b4 others. I wanna assure u this is the same son who was not tired saying Mom, Mom....! She is still the same but after my son left for other town for studies, slowly he changed and started avoiding mother. About his mother he doesn't agree with me , for all other things he is too dosail. What 2 do?
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replied October 31st, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Hey there, it's obvious there are some issues. It could be that there are things about your wife you don't know, it could be a mental illness, it could be a substance abuse issue.

There is not enough information there to decide if he is schizophrenic or not.

Does he only have disturbed thoughts about his mother? Do they impair his occupational or social functioning?
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replied October 31st, 2007
My Son Hates His Mother Is It Schizophrenia Or Any Other ...
Dear wirch, Yes he has only disturbed thoughts abt her which certainly impair his occupational & social functioningn he cudn't concentrate in his studies and spoiled his 2 years with blank n disturbed mind, otherwise he is very intellegnt As per him, whenever he thinks of his mother, he thinks n thinks n keep thinking n his nurves becomes tight. There are no big issues, even he told to counculr, he himself doesnt know why so much of hate. issues are, mother has fobia of cleanliness, mother was critical abt our family friends n relative etc n he says she poisond his mind. Normally all housewives keep disscussing such issues as usual, bt otherwise she was too nice to everybody on forfront, greets n attends everybody. She is too good by heart, concluding with this that she is doing only showoff and thn hatred of extrem level to curse her to death is difficult to understand. Yes my wife didn't like a girl, a close relative of ours, 9 years elder unmarried cousin sister to my son, whom v supported for her career n advanced studies. Yes later I knew tht unlike a cousin sister, she was very close to him (earlies for more thn a year she was living with us only. thn later also shifted very near to my son's premises in the same city for her studies, where my son had gone for his studies, v were thnking she is taking gud care of our son) probably they had sum ellicit physical relations too. My wife had smelled something since the girl came to our house while my son was just 17 n used to ask my son to get away frm tht girl n concentrate in studies, (as usual like any mother of this world). My son says critisizing tht girl is not the issue for hatred 2wards mother, ths iz hs own thinking and tht girl has not prompted. I'm also sure tht girl wll not instigate any such thng as she was benefiited by us in way of gr8 financial n emotional support n she was too close to all of us(yes frm inside my wife was ws against any such support to tht girl, which my son knew) . B4 3-4 months only I have come to know abt their close relations n wth my directive, most probably they hv departed( there wr sum of their own issues of disputes too). BUT MY SON'S HATRED IS TWO THREE YEARS OLD,WHICH HAS RUIND OUR FAMILY N LEFT US OUT OF PIECE. HE HAS ATTEMPTED SUICIDE ALSO, WHENEVER I ASKD HIM TO COME TO OUR HOME. Wht to do?
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replied November 2nd, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
Ya know, your right, you are always right man.
Why would he hate his mother, he has no good reason to.
I mean, she bestowed upon him such a wonderfully bloody gift, why wouldn't he like life and in turn his mother.
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replied November 24th, 2007
Hello,
If anyone has reason to have very bad feelings about their mother its me, she put me through hell growing up, shes an addict and I strongly beleive she has an undiagnosed mental condition as well, but she is STILL my mommy and I LOVE HER, I think this is basically the norm, that we love our mothers even if they do wrong with us, if your son wasnt THAT full of hate I would say he sounds just spoiled, but the level of his hate that it even disrupts his studies and hes attempted suicide make it seem like something much deeper-you really need to have your son checked up for mental illness-best wishes
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replied November 24th, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
Yeah, those mothers are some of the worst, in my eyes anyway.
But from non partial eyes, they are all just one big monstrous entity aren't they?
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replied May 15th, 2009
Schizophrenia
In front of people, friends and certain members of the family she can appear jovial, kind hearted even warm. Behind close doors, when talking to me, her son, she is completely abusive, offensive and venomously angry. To look at this 80 year old woman, my mother, you would never imagine she had the energy let alone the character. There seems always to be a seething tension she create then denies when asked. I've no idea how to cope with this.
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replied June 12th, 2009
Loosing a son to suicide is enough painful in itself and realizing he left a note saying she had been the reason for his tragic act turns her pain and the sadness just unbearable.
Son had schizophrenia, did not accept treatment and his behaviour changed gradually through the years.
It was an unusual and unfortunate happening.
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replied June 1st, 2010
Hi there,
I hope the original poster checks back on this and sees my comment.

I hate my mother for all the bad-ending relations I had with women. probably your son is in such a phase. Especially if he knows that a mans view(perception) of a women is mostly influenced by his mother. Now tell me, how confident your son will be with a woman, whom he thinks is wearing a mask?(like your wife) Just may be.. he is having a bad break up with someone.

Forbidding a girl from seeing him(whom he appreciates/values very much..for whatever reason) is a very good enough reason to hate anybody. Its a primal feeling.

Ask her to give him space. Dont put conditions to him and dont make the same mistakes especially when he has already told you that he dislikes it. He is going thru a bad phase and if you do not cooperate with him, the situation will only worsen

I hope that was of some help.
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replied June 12th, 2010
Active User, very eHealthy
To add a small amount more, you should also hate your father. Don't forget to leave that guy out of the equation.

It's funny what he wrote up there, she brings him clothes, and what else, gives him ice cream, or perhaps buys him some movies perhaps.

I would try and figure out what real love actually is If I were you poster.

Here is life son, not really your choice to be here but have it anyway, here is some clothes, now get to work!, and hopefully you don't die any time soon! Oh, and I love you.
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