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Rosie H Extremely eHealthy
October 30th, 2007
"IF A MAN WANTS YOU"
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve
then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don 't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don 't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself
a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don 't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has
more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about
baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists
of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your
always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don 't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate
them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

BY THE WAY, THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN, SO TAKE A HINT..............
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young Girl
replied October 30th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
Smile
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Tylanas
replied October 30th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
Good advice in there.
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yogahoneybunny
replied October 31st, 2007
Active User, very eHealthy
There was this big things about 5 years back --- I think I saw it on Oprah. It was prompted by a book that was called "He's just not that into you" which was along similary lines.

Like, if he doesn't call when he says he will ... he's just not that into you.
If he goes to sleep when you want to talk ... he's just not that into you.
If he never offers to make a meal, do the dishes, walk the dog.

etc. etc. etc.
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Birch
replied October 31st, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I just don't dig the 'game playing' kind of things. Like "Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your
always readily available to him- he takes it for granted." It seems less than honest to me.
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blondie_e
replied October 31st, 2007
Experienced User
so true
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bettyboo302
replied November 1st, 2007
That is the best thing i heard all day!!! And it is so real
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meblonde01
replied November 1st, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Birch wrote:
I just don't dig the 'game playing' kind of things. Like "Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your
always readily available to him- he takes it for granted." It seems less than honest to me.


I agree.. I ask my hubby if he likes to wonder what is going on or the real down to here I am, I love you, lets go forward type, and he said HONESTY all the way Tell me how you feel.
I think that is really what most people want, men and women..
Game playing is just way to intense to keep up with. And it is just what it is! a game!
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Verizon-y
replied November 1st, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Birch wrote:
I just don't dig the 'game playing' kind of things. Like "Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your
always readily available to him- he takes it for granted." It seems less than honest to me.


Doesn't that refer to people just dating rather than married people?

I found that post to be EXCELLENT advice.
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Rosie H
replied December 31st, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Wow practice what you preach huh? Wow. I just re-read that and its so true. My relationship has fallen apart for the same reasons. How depressing.

I think it could be for all couples. Certain statements would apply to only single people.
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lele25
replied January 6th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
Very good advice
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nightangel73
replied January 6th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
yogahoneybunny wrote:
There was this big things about 5 years back --- I think I saw it on Oprah. It was prompted by a book that was called "He's just not that into you" which was along similary lines.

Like, if he doesn't call when he says he will ... he's just not that into you.
If he goes to sleep when you want to talk ... he's just not that into you.
If he never offers to make a meal, do the dishes, walk the dog.

etc. etc. etc.


I have read that book, it's really good. I have also read "why men marry !**@!" by Cheryl Argov and it was a highly educational book as well. I like the later one better because it teaches what to do so that "he is not that into you".
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yogahoneybunny
replied January 8th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
So the book teaches you what? I'm not that clear on it, angel ... can you explain?
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Little Miss Oops
replied January 8th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
some men wont miss you though they just go to the next girl. Some men like the girls that just bend to their will and don't put up any fuss you know and i'm definatly not like that so finding a man and staying in a relationship with them is really really hard for me because alot of men just want pushovers... how do you get around that problem???
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Tylanas
replied January 8th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
Keep dumping them until you find a real man.
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Little Miss Oops
replied January 9th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
lol or them dumping me i'm ok with that though lol the one i have right now-chris we get along great and our relationship would be boring if we were both pushovers lol but luckly neither of us are
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nightangel73
replied January 9th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
yogahoneybunny wrote:
So the book teaches you what? I'm not that clear on it, angel ... can you explain?



Well the books teaches you how men think when it comes to find their mate. For example tells you things like what you shouldn't say to a man and what not and tells you the reasons behind. The book is really really good. Many things in that book I learned through breakups, should I have readed that book earlier it certainly would have saved me from heartache.
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yogahoneybunny
replied January 11th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
Right. I'm reading a book right now and was struck by this point: we can't earn love. It's just something that someone decides to feel toward us. We earn approval, not love. We don't deserve love; we don't no deserve it. Deserving and love are unrelated.

This totally opened my eyes to my past relationships. the whole time I was seeking to say and do and be the right thing, these men didn't love me. And not because of my efforts. Just because they didn't! It is very freeing.
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LadyAllie
replied January 12th, 2008
Experienced User
[quote="meblonde01"]
Birch wrote:
I just don't dig the 'game playing' kind of things. Like "Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your
always readily available to him- he takes it for granted." It seems less than honest to me.


i dont think thats what they mean in this. my mom always says "absence makes the heart grow fonder." which i think is true... the more you miss someone, the more you want to see them and be with them. its not saying to hide things from them and play games with them. its basically saying that you cant just be there 24/7/365... honestly people get bored of each other. if you make him miss you some by spending a little bit of time apart it will be more exciting the next time you see eachother.
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yogahoneybunny
replied January 15th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
I agree with the need for separation. Absence cultivates longing, which is healthy and good for a relationship. But it should be something that you communicate with you partner, not something that you use as bait.
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