Hey, there's no shame in this, a LOT of guys have this problem.

A solution that might work is putting on a condom and then masturbating. You may simply need to accoustim your penis to the feel of a condom and "teach" your body that condoms can be erotic too!

But I was fine with all this up until about three weeks ago. Maybe it's just stress? I've had a lot on my mind like talking and marriage. I'm thinking it has to do with speaking again... I'll try that though, thanks. Any other suggestions? From anyone?

It could definitely be stress; that stuff does really annoying things to people. Your story sounds interesting and inspiring (aside from this little side-quest!) so I wish you a TON of luck

Thanks a ton. It took me a lot to post post this, originally I posted in the Mental Health forum and got a good number of responses for learning to speak again. That's a long story and I think what is causing all this in the first place. I'll try what you suggested tonight most likely and keep you updated. Thanks again for all the help, it's much appreciated.

Way to go for taking the courage to talk about this!

It's much more common than you think.
Not only does stress cause inconvenient bodily reactions to everyday things, but it compounds itself and causes more problems. Instead of trying to hide it from your girlfriend, talk to her about it. Proper communication might ease some of the anxiety and stress you're having... it might actually help!

Thanks though we haven't had proper communication for four years but I know what you mean. Anyway, we tried what Eiri suggested and got nowhere. She has tonight off from her second job and I've been looking for another one too so I should just get on with it. Something more to try would be great though...

Have her pleasure you some right before you place the condom on so that you have a "maximum" erection (haha sounds like a superhero). Make sure to have everything out and ready first though so you can toss it on, then get going.

That does sound like a superhero. Thanks for the suggestion but we've already tried it and it has little effect. I did end up telling her though and she seems more than happy to throw herself at me. Wow, that sounded wrong...

Well so far nothing's working. Should I be so worried about this?

Well the anxiety to perform doesn't sound like it is helping you. Try to give it some more time. Go a week or so without trying to have sex, or having any other sexual encounters. Then the day you want to give it a shot...have a lot of foreplay to arouse yourself, then stop, then do it again, and stop, then when you think your ready go all the way and hopefully your body will be so full of anticipation that the condom doesn't turn you off (yes it does for me too). And hopefully you will be able to perform.

Good idea. After signing with her she seems a little testy so I'll give her some space. Maybe I'll sleep on the couch... Hopefully no more masked maniacs will ring the doorbell, I don't like Halloween. My first time celebrating it and I don't like it.

could definately be the stress....
try a bigger sized condom too... it might be to tight and cut off the circulation.. I had this problem.

Thanks, I already tried the bigger condoms though. Didn't help. We talked/signed and decided not to 'do anything of the sexual nature' for about a week going along the lines of Whaturmuva. I have to pick up a pregnancy test today too, that should be fun.

Reading this remind me of my relationship with my boyfriend! He was fine with it forever (the condoms) and then one night things changed. He got all upset and kinda took it out on me cause he was so mad. Then of coarse i felt like it was my fault! Like he wasn't attracted to me anymore or i was doing something wrong. So i ended up getting just as stressed as he did about it. I told him that it wasn't a big deal to me and that i'm not going to get mad and what not. Then for awhile he just never wanted to have intercourse because he was afraid it would happen again. He didn't understand that it wasn't a big deal to me...he told me that if he can't 'give it to me' that i'll get it somewhere else....and boy was that a long convo!!! But we tried the froeplay right before...we tried the off and on and off and on crap. And then we waited for about 4 days (we couldn't make it to a week!) but needless to say we didn't 'fix' the dilema....i just went on BC and now he doesn't have to wry about it. Untill....he gets to drunk! But hes drunk and forgets about it in the morning lol. Would your gf consider Birth Control?

Interesting story. Neither of us drink though. I bought two pregnancy tests this afternoon, wasn't that an experience. She's waiting for the result on one right now. I suggested birth control a few days ago actually, she said it would be a good idea. She's got an appointment with her GYN Saturday. Give me about a half hour and I'll post if it's or - , let's hope negative.

You should definately try a different form of birth control. Condoms have done this to my hubby and I, they can be a huge buz kill. I dont like how they feel and the feeling of them turns my guy off, so yeah we had some problems. Once we stopped using them everything was great.

Best Wishes to you and your girl,

Thanks Rosie. We'll wait for getting rid of the condom, she's going to get the pill. And the test was negative. Ringraziare Dio.

Congrats....They have contraceptives over the counter that you can buy at most drug stores, pharmacys and grocery stores and its not the pill or a condom. You actually insert a gel like medication into your vagina, well your girls vagina,right before you have sex. It comes in a box with like 20 pre-filled applicators. The gel is sort of like vaseline. Its not smelly or painful. When having sex with it inside of her it feels like thick lubrication. Its a little messy, but its a good way to stay protected until she gets on the pill and not use condoms. My hubby said it just felt wetter. The box says its 99% effective. I havent really heard anyone talk about it though. So look for it. Dont be discouraged if you dont find it right away. I looked at 5 different stores before I found it at Sears.

I'll look for those tomorrow after work. And thanks for the tip, I'll see what she thinks of it.

Are you referring to spermicides? If so I don't believe the percentage is that high.

Planned parenthood has the listing of how effective contraceptives are so this link might be useful to you Jericho
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/birth-con trol-pregnancy/effectiveness.htm