Concerns about eating habits and thoughts - Diabetic Family Posted: 10-29-07 01:24am
Hi, everyone..im new and ive never been on
a forum like this...but i jus have some
concerns and wat not about my eat habits
and thoughts...so i thought that mayb
someone can help me...
But I dont have a eating disorder...but
sometimes i feel like throwing up my food
because i feel like im fat...i weigh
between 170-180 and im 19 and 5"4 and
diabetes runs in my family...and my
doctors always tell me to loose
weight...because of the diabetes...and its
fine but i just dont have the discipline
to do it...i do a diet or i excercise for
about mayb a couple of weeks or so and
then i get tired of it cause i dont see a
change in my body...but i guess i've
always had a problem with dealing with my
wieght....i use to get teased for my
weight because i was little bit bigger
than the others..and it lasted from 5th
grade til the end of 7th grade...and it
was the most horrible time in my life..it
effected me so much..it still does...even
though i dont get teased or anything, its
jus there always a voice in my head about
how im fat..it bothers me and i want to do
something about it...i always bring up how
fat i am and how i need to loose
30lbs....but i never do anything about
it...but i thought being bulimic or
anoxeric(sp?) would help it....i havent
made myself thrown up ever but some
days..i feel like i want to... but i
dont....i sometimes go into the bathroom
and i want to do it but i think of wat it
could do to me....so i leave...but i dont
eat breakfast...i might eat like one big
meal a day and thats it....its jus a habit
that i have i guess...this isnt on a
regular basis but it happens sometimes...i
guess u can say sometimes i strave myself
cause i jus eat one big meal a day idk
what you call that....but im jus tired of
being like this....fat that is....i hate
it...i hate my body...its sad that it
effects me...all because i got made fun of
in middle school..my dad sometimes says
some comments that hurt me...he says it
jus to mess around and i laugh it off but
it still effects me...i remember this one
time wen i was little like he was tickling
me and he grabbed my stomach and squeezed
it wen he would tickle me..its kinda hard
to explain but anyways so he was playin
with me...and it was hurting me at that
point and i told him can u stop and he was
like..."if you loose your gut i will" and
it been in my mind ever since...i feel
hopeless...i feel empty because i dont
tell anyone how i really feel...im
actually being truthful on here for the
first time telling how i feel...so its
kinda hard....
i jus dont know wat to do....is this any
kind of a disorder? not a ED but something
else mayb? im confused...do u think i
could ever have one in the future..
Im not sure that your post will stay up
here or not it might need editing wich i
will do so in the control panel if it
hasnt been accepted, in some parts it
makes an impression you are asking for
tips. But from my opinion with the
thoughts about your body and weight etc,
your on the road to an eating disorder,
maybe EDNOS is better fit to what your
going through i would assume. I would
suggest talking to a therapist and askin
them to help you find a nutritionist to
help plan out your meals and eat
healthier, lots for fruits and veggies,
cut out soda and replace it with water,
that will help alot with weight loss. No
candies, cookies, chips etc stuff of that
nature, if you eat out alot stop going out
as well, mayb eonce a month and get
something healthy. Sometimes it feels like
there is nothing you can do but starve or
throw up to get the weight off, you just
gotta remembe rweight loss takes time you
just have to be patient, i have a hard
time doing that myself lol. But im alway
shere if you need someone to talk to, Im
working on trying to lose 30lbs , before
my husband comes back. It seems like it
takes forever and i have no patience
whatsoever.
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x0GossipGirl0x
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Oct 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Antioch ,
Posted: 10-30-07 02:59am
thanks! : ) but wat does EDNOS stand for?
i dont know wat to that means...so u
really think im on a road to having a
eating disorder...
I beleive that you are with the negative
body image and all, and EDNOS is Eating
Disorder Not Otherwise Specified when you
dont quite fit the criterie for anorexia
or bulimia.
i also wanted to state that my dad used to
mess with my sister commenting on her
weight, then she became bulimic, wich is
why its best to speak to someone about
your issues and thoughts before anything
happens!
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x0GossipGirl0x
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Oct 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Antioch ,
Posted: 10-31-07 01:16am
oh okay thank you...idk its jus that
sometimes i feel that way and sometimes i
dont....i jus hope that i dont become
bulimic or anorexic ...buthave no one
really to talk about this with......i'll
feel embarassed...cause my friends think
im fine...and everything so i would feel
uncomfortable...and about a therapist i
highly doubt my parents would let me have
one..if i wanted to have a therapist it
would have to be a secret and that no one
to know...
but yeah i do deal with negative body
image...i have most of my life...i comment
about myself sometimes...my friends
disagree and they always think im joking
wen im not...
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x0GossipGirl0x
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Oct 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Antioch ,
Posted: 10-31-07 16:49pm
its kinda weird to say this but..wen i
loose my weight down to where i want it, i
wana be able to feel my hip bone...like i
can feel it wen i lay down sometimes...i
dont know i want it like that...its kinda
like a reminder that mayb im not that fat
wen i feel it...but then i look at the
rest of my body and i dont see any parts
on my body that are skinny @ all...but no
matter wat ppl say, i know i am fat.....
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gerlschaf
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2007 Posts: 17
Posted: 12-09-07 00:36am
I can really relate to how you feel so
hurt with the teasing from school and your
dad. One of my dad's comments from YEARS
ago is still grooved in my brain today.
It made me feel like I'm not good enough
because of my shape. Hang in there, I
think you're in a good place to get some
help. I don't know your age, but try a
school counselor or school nurse, or if
you work, there's a program called EAP
that most businesses have that will refer
you to free, short term therapist. You're
a lot more than your shape, you're a
fabulous person.
