I know what depressed means but im not sure if you could call me that. What i feel might not be depression but at the same time maybe it is. Im writing this because i honestly NEED someone or anyone to talk to who will actually listen and help me. I found this website on google because i thought maybe it would help. I need people to give me advice or just to listen who arent family or friends.

on a usual daily basis my father and i get into little fights. He raises his voice and i raise mine. Im a pretty sensitive person and a lot can make me upset however i think im used to some. However today was by far the worst. I feel as if i am never good enough for my father. I try so hard to be what he wants and when i tell him good news, there is always something he brings up that isnt good enough. I feel so much pain when i hear my own father practially telling me i am not good enough. For example lets say i have a C in english and my teacher explains to me one day i raised it to a B... i go home and tell my dad that as soon as i can thnking i would for once make him happy. But no. All he does is bring up something else i can work on. i am NEVER good enough. it hurts me so much to know i need to be someone else to make my own father know i try. He called me an airhead and i can be stupid. BUt im not. I make good choices and those are things my dad doesnt know. I feel like all the things i try to explain to my dad go through one ear and out the other.

i am only 15 years old meaning high school can be hard. I have a boyfriend who is older than me by one year and sex is the problem these days. He is the most understanding boy ever and i am so lucky to be with him, however people are assuming we are having sex. and i am NOT. i do not feel ready and i know how to say no. The choices i make at parties at around my friends tend to be the right ones but my dad has no idea. I gave up about a year ago teling my dad anything about my social life or grades because there always has to be a down side to it. I just wish he knew how i felt. Its not like i havent tried to tell him, i have, he just chooses tto not listen. I have also thought about running away or suicide. or course killing myself has come to mind but i could never have the guts to know it meaning im not. I had eating problems because of depression a year ago and my mom slowly got me back. Soon after that i found a way to turn my view of my body worse. I though throwing up my food would make me feel better and it has been a problem. i have asked my mom to get me someone to takl to but she says im not crazy and depressed to have someone there. I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO AND KNOW THIS.

please help me. I need to stop crying myself to sleep and thinking im nothing. My body image to myself is fat and in my dad's eyes im nothing. My friends are good but they tend to make my life misrable. My boyfriend is amazing but it wares me out. please... can life be better?


help me.