Single and Pregnant Forum - Pregnant but no Relationship w/Father of Child

Becky

replied on October 26th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

Hi there, I just want to say welcome.

I know you have a major dilemma right now and it's hard to make a decision. First off, the babies dad sounds like a complete loser. He is obviously very selfish as a boyfriend/lover- but that doesn't mean he wouldn't be a good dad.

I was married to my kids daddy and we broke up a year ago. I was facing life as a single mum but i met a great guy and we are very happy together.

It sounds to me like you want this baby. I am pro-choice and have nothing against abortion but you seem to be having many doubts and you may regret an abortion.

Do what is best for YOU. Have you thought of being a single mum? Do you think you can do it? I think you need to sit down and really think about this and not listen to other people- it is your body and your baby.

The Dad has a right to know. Even if he doesn't want to be involved he should still know that you are pregnant. If you do decide to have the baby then he will have to pay maintenence

Good luck and keep me updated please

|

newmommy07

replied on November 27th, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

Re: Pregnant But No Relationship W/father of Child

mel61 wrote:

Hi, my name is Violet and I'm pregnant. I'm 26yrs old and I have a good job. I am very independent and responsible but 'I'm having trouble deciding what I'm going to do about my pregnancy...

I had been seeing an old friend(we were together for about a year in the past) for about a month. He was the type to say he'd call and then not. He's like two different people...when we are together it's great but then he'll just act like an ass to me..like not call...etc. I questioned him about what is is that we were doing and he said that he wasn't ready for a relationship but that he liked spending time with me. I eventually got fed up with all the mixed signals and ended the relationship.

But now I'm pregnant. I'm not sure how far along. Still very early...we had sex on Oct 13. I've gone to the doctor...had the pregnancy confirmed. The doc asked what I wanted to do...either have the baby or abort...I told him that I wasn't sure...so he said I have until week 12 to have an abortion.

I wan to tell the father but he is gone away for work and I have NO WAY of reaching him. He will be back in town in about 4 wks. I'm sure he will want me to have an abortion. When I broke things off with him (through e-mail, cause I couldn't reach him) I said it was b/c I cared about him but he obviously didn't care about or respect me. He never emailed me back.

I've told my sister and she has given me the impression that she would have an abortion. She hasn't come out and said it but has hinted.

I NEVER wanted to be in this situation-pregnant without a relationship but here I am all the same. So...I should have an abortion right? I mean is it wrong to bring a baby into the world that doesn't have two loving parents to take care of it? On the other hand... I have a good job (I'm not financially sound but make a good paycheck). I am a very loving person that would rock being a mom. I'm not a young teenager...I'm a responsible adult. And I don't want to look back and regret not having the baby.
I don't know what's the right choice?! I'm sooo confused.

I will NEVER give my baby up for adoption...it's not even an option. So that leaves me with two choices...abort or deliver...and I feel like I wan tto have the baby but there are soo many unknowns...will the father actually want to be a father, will I be able to support the baby on my own, what is the RIGHT thing to do????

I'm going to have to wait to see what he says...but right now I'm leaning towards having it...even though I have no idea if it's the right thing for the baby?

ANY AND ALL THOUGHTS/COMMENTS ARE WELCOME AND APPRECIATED

thank you,
Violet

PLEASE don't get an abortion. I wanted to get one done but after I got my 4d ultrasound and saw my daughter sucking her thumb, I couldnt have even imagined that I would have killed my daughter. Go to the site Klanned Parenthood if you want to see the truths on abortion, its sicker then the nazis I think. The tools, the methods, the baby suffering... its horrible. Some babies get burned from the process and others get torn out of you piece by piece, some have their heads smashed for easier delivery.You say you have a good job and are responsible, you could so raise a child then! I would have had to live off state funding if I diddnt have my bf because I had no job when I got pregnant and no goals. Just because a baby may look like only a blob in the early weeks of pregnancy dosnt mean they dont have a soul! Imagine asking that soul 10 years from now if they wanted to live or die... chances are that baby would want to live! If being a mom dosnt seem it would work for you, please consider adoption to a adoption place or out to family.

|

young Girl

replied on November 27th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

hunney you do what YOU feel is best for the child and your life
children are a big responsability, alot of money and work and you will have to devote your loife to them. its not up to us to tell you whats right or wrong
if YOU want an abortion thats YOUR choice and you have the right to that
just like you have the right to keep youir child
\it will be a long hard road and you will have alot of thinking to do. my suggestion would be to keep your options open and dont let ANYONE tell YOU whats right or wrong. this is YOUR BABY
YOUR BODY
YOUR LIFE
and YOu can do what YOU have to do for you and this child.

|

young Girl

replied on November 27th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

Re: Pregnant But No Relationship W/father of Child

newmommy07 wrote:

mel61 wrote:

Hi, my name is Violet and I'm pregnant. I'm 26yrs old and I have a good job. I am very independent and responsible but 'I'm having trouble deciding what I'm going to do about my pregnancy...

I had been seeing an old friend(we were together for about a year in the past) for about a month. He was the type to say he'd call and then not. He's like two different people...when we are together it's great but then he'll just act like an ass to me..like not call...etc. I questioned him about what is is that we were doing and he said that he wasn't ready for a relationship but that he liked spending time with me. I eventually got fed up with all the mixed signals and ended the relationship.

But now I'm pregnant. I'm not sure how far along. Still very early...we had sex on Oct 13. I've gone to the doctor...had the pregnancy confirmed. The doc asked what I wanted to do...either have the baby or abort...I told him that I wasn't sure...so he said I have until week 12 to have an abortion.

I wan to tell the father but he is gone away for work and I have NO WAY of reaching him. He will be back in town in about 4 wks. I'm sure he will want me to have an abortion. When I broke things off with him (through e-mail, cause I couldn't reach him) I said it was b/c I cared about him but he obviously didn't care about or respect me. He never emailed me back.

I've told my sister and she has given me the impression that she would have an abortion. She hasn't come out and said it but has hinted.

I NEVER wanted to be in this situation-pregnant without a relationship but here I am all the same. So...I should have an abortion right? I mean is it wrong to bring a baby into the world that doesn't have two loving parents to take care of it? On the other hand... I have a good job (I'm not financially sound but make a good paycheck). I am a very loving person that would rock being a mom. I'm not a young teenager...I'm a responsible adult. And I don't want to look back and regret not having the baby.
I don't know what's the right choice?! I'm sooo confused.

I will NEVER give my baby up for adoption...it's not even an option. So that leaves me with two choices...abort or deliver...and I feel like I wan tto have the baby but there are soo many unknowns...will the father actually want to be a father, will I be able to support the baby on my own, what is the RIGHT thing to do????

I'm going to have to wait to see what he says...but right now I'm leaning towards having it...even though I have no idea if it's the right thing for the baby?

ANY AND ALL THOUGHTS/COMMENTS ARE WELCOME AND APPRECIATED

thank you,
Violet

PLEASE don't get an abortion. I wanted to get one done but after I got my 4d ultrasound and saw my daughter sucking her thumb, I couldnt have even imagined that I would have killed my daughter. Go to the site Klanned Parenthood if you want to see the truths on abortion, its sicker then the nazis I think. The tools, the methods, the baby suffering... its horrible. Some babies get burned from the process and others get torn out of you piece by piece, some have their heads smashed for easier delivery.You say you have a good job and are responsible, you could so raise a child then! I would have had to live off state funding if I diddnt have my bf because I had no job when I got pregnant and no goals. Just because a baby may look like only a blob in the early weeks of pregnancy dosnt mean they dont have a soul! Imagine asking that soul 10 years from now if they wanted to live or die... chances are that baby would want to live! If being a mom dosnt seem it would work for you, please consider adoption to a adoption place or out to family.

it takes ALOT more than a good job and being responsible to raise a child
and lets keep this not about debateing weather abortion is right or wrong she does not need to hear that
this is her choice and if shed like to abort then so be it. if thats whats in best intrest for HER and HER LIFE then its not any of us to judge or try and make her feel bad
sdo please refrain from doing that!

|