Mom to Be Looking for Pregnancy Support

hey violet my name is suzy and im 33 weeks 1 day pregnant
if you need anything feel free to PM me anytime!

Hey Violet,
Welcome to the forum......sorry that it is under these circumstances. Feel free to PM me if you like. I have been in your situation so might be able to give you some advice.

Shannah

Thank you both for your kind words. I'm very scared right now but I have made a decision. I am going to have the baby. I have no reason to abort except that I'm not with the father and it was not planned. I have a good job and so does the dad. I have though about how difficult being a single mom is and I know that I can do it. I was raised in a single parent home. I never wanted my kids to have to do the same but it's no reason to abort.

My sister is not going to agree with my decision-which saddens me greatly. I still have not talked to the dad...he is unavailable to any contact until another 3 wks. I'm sure that he will not want the baby. I'm going to tell him that I've made my decision and now he has to think about what (if any) role he wants to play in this.

I have not told anyone else...and will not until I'm past the 1st trimester. If my family doesn't support my decision then I'll do it on my own.

My sister says that it's wrong to bring a baby into the world in my (single parent ) situation. And she said that I cannot afford it--but I can. And I think it's wrong to abort just because I'm not with the father...I cannot abort just b/c it's not the ideal situation. I will be a great mom ...single or otherwise. So whoever doesn't have kind , supportive words for me can keep their opinions to themselves...i'm doing what is right for the baby not for me and not for the father ....for the baby.

Please know that I'm open to any and ALL advise that you guys may have for me...
Shanyan you said that you were in a similar situation...how did it work out for you? Do you have any advise for me?

Oh, and I'm not sure how far along I am but I don't really have any symptoms...but I am def. pregnant...I hope this is not a bad indication.

i didnt have any symptoms until i was over 2 mnths pregnant
some women dont get symptoms

you need to make a prenatal appointment asap!

I have an appoitment with my normal doctor on the 15 of nov. should I make an earlier apoitment?

you need to make an appointment with an OBGYN not your regular doctor

Oh...I guess I'll have to get on it...I'll get my doctor's office to referrer me to one.

What do you feel is the hardest part of being a parent/pregnant? What is your situation with the dad? God, I'm so scared to tell the father. I hope he will react good.

What kinda things do they do at your first ONGYN appointment? I've started taking prenatal vit. today.But I wasn't taking folic acid..I hope that's ok?!

Oh, and I do actually have a symptom...I'm super tired and my breasts seem different. My nipple area is bigger and darker. Also I'm like hot one min and cold the next...I thought I was getting the flu but maybe it's the pregnancy.

How do you feel @ 33wks? Do you know of any good baby information web sites?

Well when I was 17 I got pregnant. At first it was a shock but then me and the baby's father were happy, we had already been together for 3yrs at that time. But once he told his family they pressured him to leave me and so he did. We were living together at the time and they even had me locked out of my own apartment. They tried to convince me to have an abortion (I was 4.5 months), so I actually thought about it but then my doc told me that because I was so far along they would have to put saline solution into my uterus which would kill the baby then I would have to deliver it. So of course there was no way that I could do that. So I went on to have my beautiful baby boy.

When I was 7.5 months the father wanted to get back together so I took him back...that lasted until my son was 1yr old. It was hard being a single mom but I do not regret my decision. My son is now 11, I am married to a wonderful man and we have a 5 yr old daughter together.

Each time I have been pregnant my family doc always referred me to an OBGYN. Depending on your doc they may order some blood tests and an ultrasound. Your symptoms sound very typical for pregnancy. I was soooooo tired for all my pregnancies and my breasts were extremely sore. I didn't have too much morning sickness, just certain smells would disgust me.

Don't be scared to tell the dad. All you say is ''Listen this is the situation, I am pregnant, and I am keeping it whether you want me to or not. If you want to be a part of the baby's life then that's great, if not then that's your choice as well. I am willing to do this on my own, but be prepared to be responsible financially''

Don't be afraid either to go for child support, every father whether involved in the child's life or not has to pay support. Plus it really does help, especially when you are a single mom.

Are you taking folic acid now, I am sure that you are fine but it wouldn't hurt to start taking them anyways.

I'm so sorry to hear about the difficulties that you went through when you were first pregnant. I simply don't understand how some dads can be so cold. I can't believe that he locked you out of your own home when you were pregnant...don't they realize that growing a human inside you is an extremely difficult thing all on it's own? I don't think that they get the fact that the baby growing inside you is also a part of them...maybe they don't even think about it that way? Who knows what those kinda dads tell themselves...

I'm glad to hear that you now have a happy family and a good partner. Congrads on all your success. You seem to be a very wise and strong person.

Thanks for the advice on how to tell the dad...I may memorize what you said and say those exact words!!LOL! However I'm not so sure it will go that way. I've emailed him to tell him that he needs to contact me asap. That I have some important news that's going to effect him. I'm pretty sure he may already know what I'm talking about. I couldn't tell him in an email but I had to let him know that there is something serious that I need to tell him. Because of his work he can read emails but not send them. I want him to have some time to think about this. I am hoping he will have some answers for me when we actually talk. I hope he will want to be a Dad. I hope he don't hate me for this decision.

I am now taking folic acid with my prenatal vitamins and I am going to call the doctor about getting an OBGYN asap. It would be good to know how far along I actually am.

Thank you again for your words. You are a very good person and good thing will happen to you because of it....

I will be on these boards very often (I hope that's ok) so I'll be sure to let you know how things progress...

Violet

It was difficult....but my motto is "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger". You may find that the father may need a little time to get used to the fact that you are pregnant ( I don't think that he will hate you). I guess for men it isn't as real for them because they are not the ones going through it.

When was the first day of your last menstrual cycle....that may help in determining how far along you are.

These boards are a great place to come to when you have any questions or even if you just need to vent. There are many knowledgeable ladies on here that can help.
Don't hesitate to ask me any questions, I am on here all the time and love to give advice whenever its needed.

I wish you a happy and healthy nine months and please keep in touch!

Shannah

i hope your pregnancy goes well, i have had 2 myself and i am only 15.
I have a 2 year old and a 3 month old baby. I am still with the father and we are engaged to get married on my 16th bithday. (christmas eve)
I hope your pregnancy goes well and that there are no complications.
Have a happy, safe and loving nine months, good luck!

Thank you all for your support and advice. I hope the father taken the news well but I'm not so sure...I won't be able to talk to him until another few wks. I have decided that the only thing I can do is tell him and let him make his own choices form there on. I'm gonna tell him that he doesn't need to be a Dad. He is the father but he has the choice of how involved he wants to be. I've asked my sister if she would do the lemaz classes with me if he doesn't want to and she said YES!! She also told me that she is gonna be there for me through the whole thing-even the delivery!! Which make me feel sooooo much better.

Thing may not be perfect for me and the father, but this baby will be loved. And that's all that matters. As for the single parent part for me-I'm willing to deal with the negative aspects of it and I know it will be hard at times but I truly don't care as long as I do the right thing for my baby. God-that sounds weird-MY BABY!! I'm gonna be a MOM!!! Finally I can smile when I say that...

So for now I'm interested in keeping a positive outlook and eating healthy. I've bought some preg books...which I simply cannot put down!!

Congrads for all you moms and I look forward to getting to know you better...

smiles 2 all,
V

yay! im glad things are getting better!!! keep your chin up hun! youre going to be a MOMMY soon!

Glad to hear that everything is going well for you. The fact that you are happy about this pregnancy and you have family to help and support you definitely makes it a lot easier when it comes time to tell the father. You really are all this baby needs....and its great to hear that you have a positive and healthy outlook on it all. I am truly happy for you.

Pregnancy books are awesome........when I was pregnant the first time that was all I read. They really do help. I wish that I would have known about forums like these 12 yrs ago when I had my son. They really are great support systems.

Hopefully you will keep in touch and keep us updated on your progress. Take care!

Shannah