I weigh one hundred pounds and I'm 5'9'ish. I'm sisxteen. I am not anorexic, I just have a high metabolism or something. I don't know. I actually eat a lot, maybe its a hormone thing. My entire family is skinny like me to.
My friend wanted me to do a favor for one of her friends. He had been rejected twice for Homecoming and she wanted me to do a pity date. So I agreed. He backed out today and told my friend it was because he thought I was either anorexic or bulimic. My friend didn't even try to defend me.
Yesterday, a guy who lives near me and is best friend with my ex gives me a letter saying he likes me and I shouldn't believe what everyone says about me being ugly. Because he thinks I am actually kind of cute. Would I go out with him please? WHAT AM I? A 2 YEAR OLD?
And I feel I am ugly. People are always trying to make me feel good and tell me I am pretty, but I always have this nagging thought they are just trying to make me happy. I have screwed up teeth, contacts, and I am not blonde. Tan asian chick actually. But I am not asian, that just what stereotypical group I end up in.
I'm usually pretty happy and hippie like. I spread noise really. But I actually have low self esteem and am pretty shy. I have tried to hide it for sooooo long. Today, somebody stole my drink after I ran the mile in P.E. I got P.O. I told my friend who tried hooking me up with the choosy begger, and she ignores me and says her boyfriend is talking with his ex again. And I said maybe too snappy, he isn't cheating on you and he has the freewill to pick his friends. So SHE tells ME I am being touchy. She has been snapping at me about HER boyfriend like this for weeks. Am I justa comic relief or something? And I tell her this. And she says, she has more important problems.
So I am standing there thinking, I am a totally wrapped overhormoned melodramatic teenager who is to in myself. Am I? Sometimes at home alone in my room, I just sit in a corner and cry. I feel so ugly and horrible and selfish. And I think I wrote too much on here. Oh well...