Oh man don't even get me started... We have just gone through this at one of our schools that made the headlines on Good Morning America. This one was a male coach that was dating and eventually married his 16 year old girlfriend. He quit his teaching job and is now working at FoodLion with her.

Its rediculous

Yes I know! It's getting out of control, really. Just last week, a female teacher was arrested at one of our local schools for being romantically involved with her 16 year old student. She was young, just like the majority of them.

Why is it that the usual male teacher charged with this is usually an older man, while it is mostly younger female teachers??

I think it mirrors society, where you don't often see a younger male with an older woman, at least not as much as you see the reverse.

It is creepy, though.

When I was a teenager I had a relationship with a much older man, and it was creepy, and even more creepy now that I look back on it.

Ooooh it's soooo disturbing...

I have a teacher friend who is male. When he first started at his school, he got a love letter from a student who was intensely obsessed with him. He took it to the admin right away to avoid anyone thinking that he was going along with it or part of the situation. He is always afraid (as a band teacher, it always seems to happen to the band teacher) that some kid or parent will get the wrong idea and get him chased out of town.

On one hand, teachers need to be prosecuted to every extent who do this sort of thing. It's creepy and wrong and damaging to the students involved. On the other, we need to have faith in the teachers!! I don't know where the intermediate ground lies.

I wonder how many of these relationships are consensual until Mom and Dad find out. I also wonder if this is really that new or if the media found something new to sink their hooks into.

I got hit on a lot when I was teaching in a high school. I heavily chastized the students in public. Hitting on a teacher...geezus. If something like that happened when I was in school it would've been quite a scandal for the kid.

My boyfriend's cousin taught in england and got her teaching license revoked because she fooled around/slept with her teenaged students.

She's now changing old people's diapers in a nursing home in small town Ontario.

The one in our town was quite interesting. The parents of the 16 year old girl knew that their daughter was involved with her coach. They didn't continue to let it happen, or at least they tried not to. She would lie and sneak out and see him when she said she was with her friends. They told the teacher to stay away from their daughter, but it didn't work. I personally think they didn't try hard enough. They gave up on their daughter and signed her away so that she could marry this man that was old enough to be her father.

Gross

Do you guys think it's possible for a 16 year old and a 40-something to have a real, healthy relationship?



I'll start this one. I don't.

Absolutely NOT!!!

How in the world could there be a real relationship. She is going to wake up one day and realize that she is with some old geezer and she will come to her senses. Hey at least she will have one heck of a story to tell the grandkids.

I don't really either.

I don't think a 16 year old is capable of having a mature, adult (healthy, real) relationship... nevermind one with at 40 year old.

Given the huge age difference and the maturity (or lack thereof) involved I cannot see how this could possibly be a good or healthy thing. You'd have one of two combinations: Mate and Mama in one or Mate and Papa in the other.

No.. I was 15 when I met my first husband.. He was 28.. I married him when I was 19 and he was 32.. He acted like a father to me, and made me work at home life an employee. telling me he had to punch a clock so should I.. I think there is just to much difference in people with that much of a age span.. They are not on the same page in life..

But then when I left him at 33 I dated a 21 years old guy. We where not on the same page either, but after being with that old fart it was FUN!

I think once everyone involved is a mature adult (which means they've left school), you can do whatever you want. Before that, there's too much of an imbalance of power for it to be anything other than incredibly creepy.

Teacher/student? Creeeeeeeeepy.

I really don't think that just because you leave school makes someone mature. There are people that finish college and are still not mature. I don't think it would matter if the student was still in school or not, the power struggle would still be there regardless

It kind of annoys me when young girls say "age is nothing but a number", because that simply isn't true. With age (usually) comes experience. People go through different phases during their lives, and when a younger person gets involved with an older person usually they realize this after a while.

My best friend is in her early 20's, and her husband is in his late 30's. They're in marriage counseling now because they've realized exactly how different their plans are. She wants to stay in school, complete her education and establish a career. He's been through school, has a career already, and wants to have children immediately. She's not ready for that, and he's not wanting to wait. Also, he has a tendency to treat her more like a daughter than like a wive, and until recently she has been allowing him to do so.

I really think you have to look at it on an individual basis.

I agree that there would be too much of an inherent power struggle, just based purely on age, regardless of maturity level or anything.

I was almost in that situation, the guy was a decade younger, and even that would never work. At 16 you are still a child, and your brain and personality aren't even fully formed. There's almost no way you'd be interested in the same type of person when you got older, and besides that it messes you up for same age relationships.

For a long time I believed men were only attracted to MUCH younger women, and I found it hard to date people my own age. Luckily I got over that, with a same age boyfriend who would constantly point out other same age couples out in public, when we were out on a date.