LadyKitten
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Oct 2007
Posts: 64
Location: ,
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Boyfriend Masturbates Alot - Should I be concerned ?
Posted: 10-25-07 10:29am
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My boyfriend and I just recently moved in
together and I've noticed he masturbates a
lot. We do have a very active sex life
together, but I can't help but to be
jealous or wonder if I'm boring. He has
to use porn videos to do masturbate and
I'd say 40% of his laptop memory is all
porn videos (over 100 different vids). In
his past relationships he's done a lot of
things that I don't want to try (3 somes,
anal, etc) but he says that he doesn't
care for that stuff anymore and that he
masturbates because sometimes he just
needs a 30 second quickie. Sometimes
he'll do it once, go wash off, and then do
it again right after. The only reason I
know is because I'll be in the bedroom
reading and I can hear him.
Should I be concerned?
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blondie_899
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Posts: 62
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Posted: 10-25-07 18:02pm
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Well it's normal for guys to masturbate
some guys do it and some guys don't.Just
because he masturbates doesn't mean he
finds you boring or anything.Alot of guys
don't have a really good imagination so
they have to look at porn.If you are that
worried then talk to him about it.
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Maddie34
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Joined: 06 Oct 2007
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Posted: 10-25-07 21:24pm
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The only time I would worry is if the
masterbating was cutting in on my sex
time. 
Porn isn't too big of deal to me. There is
even a thread in the women's chat if you
want to look it over:
http://ehealthfo
rum.com/health/topic112565.html
They seemed to have the subject pretty
much covered.
But like blondie said, whenever something
really bothers you just talk about it.
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peter peters
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Posts: 46
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Posted: 10-26-07 22:14pm
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You say you have an active sex life
together so no probs. there. The only
thing I suggest is that you discuss with
him , Why the secrecy? Does he feel
guilty? No need to feel that way.
One improvement in your situation would be
for you to either help him with a quick
hand job or put away your boring book and
join him. Masturbating together IS a turn
on.
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LCJ001
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Oct 2007
Posts: 9
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Posted: 10-28-07 09:22am
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I am a guy and I don't think its a very
good idea for him to masturbate a lot when
he has a girlfriend, especially if she
lives with him. Its doesn't really affect
in anyway, but it just doesn't sound
right. You are saying that you're starting
to get jealous, so if I was in your place
I would get a vibrater or a dildo bigger
than his penis, and you start doing the
same masturbate but you make sure he
knows, at first he might get excited, but
eventually he would get jealous too. I
know this doesn't sound right, but he's
choosing porn and masturbating over you
which isn't right neither so its up to
you. Another thing you can do is simply
talk to him about it and tell him how you
feel, but I wouldn't gaurntee that this
would work.
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Maddie34
Supporter
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Posted: 10-28-07 12:52pm
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Revenge by masturbation? Odd...
You may as well just masturbate together
if you are going to do that. No jealously
involved. I'd think that would get just as
good results if not better in terms of him
masturbating alone to porn.
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Georgia59
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Joined: 11 Apr 2007
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Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
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Posted: 10-28-07 20:41pm
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You don't need to be concerned, it's not
really a problem. If it bothers you, ask
him about it, try and get involved. If you
hear him watching a video, take off your
clothes and march in there naked, sit on
the computer desk, something like that.
Give him a hand... lol.....
It's not really a problem unless he
masturbates so much that it's getting in
the way of his real life.
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LadyKitten
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Oct 2007
Posts: 64
Location: ,
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Posted: 10-29-07 07:10am
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Wow. I've never heard of anyone getting
revenge by masturbation. I think you're
all right though. It's just something he
needs to do occasionally. I mean, I do
masturbate using vibrators, and I've told
him that. There's no problem. Maybe it's
just me. I feel kinda greedy when it
comes to sex and stuff. I know it's bad,
but I'm trying to stop it. It's almost
like a part of me doesn't want him to
masturbate, but thinks that I should be
allowed to. I know it's wrong, and I'm
getting over it. It's just really my
first time living with a boyfriend. I
know all my other boyfriend's masturbated,
I even knew he did often before we moved
in together. I think it's just easier not
to think about it when they're not around
you all the time. Oh well, we both enjoy
sex together and that's all that matters.
Thanks for your tips.
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Georgia59
Supporter
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Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
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Posted: 10-29-07 08:48am
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As long as you're happy with your sex life
and he isn't really replacing you with
masturbating, you're fine in my opinion.
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BuildABetterLife
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Sep 2007
Posts: 12
Location: Atlanta, GA USA
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Posted: 10-29-07 18:07pm
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You don't need to be emotionally concerned
unless it's disrupting the sex, then there
is a problem.
However, if he masturbates too frequently
(more than 3 times a week) without
replenishing himself or allowing time for
recovery, the quality of the sex you have
with him will diminish drastically and he
can even hurt or bruise himself.
Don't believe me? Look how many posts are
in the "premature ejaculation" thread
above. I GUARANTEE YOU that all of those
guys masturbate too often and don't take
care of themselves enough to recuperate
from it.
Sex educators say "masturbate all you
want! it's harmless!" but this is a lie,
because masturbation, and sex in general,
require an ENORMOUS amount of energy and
nutrients.
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Mikolas
Moderator
Joined: 02 Aug 2007
Posts: 618
Location: Buffalo University, Hands off! My trained killer kitten has its aim set upon you!
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Posted: 10-30-07 00:32am
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Why not try mutual masturbating? Try to
have him find some porn that could turn
you both on and try it out together. Might
take your relationship with him on a
comfort level to something much better
instead of you being concerned half the
time. Revenge via masturbation might not
make things better, he might just get
jealous or something and then all of a
sudden you two might have unnecessary
drama about you liking your toy better vs
him liking his hand better or something.
So instead of versing him, join him =)
Just a thought
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dudehope
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Oct 2007
Posts: 3
Location: , U.S.A
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Re: Boyfriend Masturbates Alot - Should I Be Concerned ?
Posted: 10-30-07 07:39am
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| LadyKitten
wrote: | My boyfriend and I just
recently moved in together and I've
noticed he masturbates a lot. We do have
a very active sex life together, but I
can't help but to be jealous or wonder if
I'm boring. He has to use porn videos to
do masturbate and I'd say 40% of his
laptop memory is all porn videos (over 100
different vids). In his past
relationships he's done a lot of things
that I don't want to try (3 somes, anal,
etc) but he says that he doesn't care for
that stuff anymore and that he masturbates
because sometimes he just needs a 30
second quickie. Sometimes he'll do it
once, go wash off, and then do it again
right after. The only reason I know is
because I'll be in the bedroom reading and
I can hear him.
Should I be
concerned? |
maybe he loves his palm than you just
kidding... try to give him more pleasure
or you can handjob him for much better
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Lico
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Oct 2007
Posts: 19
Location: Phoenix, AZ U.S.
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Posted: 11-04-07 15:13pm
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It is very normal for a guy to
masterbate....And you shouldn't feel
guilty if he is masterbating because it is
a healthy thing to do. I suggest that you
should just join one another and help him
out. By doing it together, it could
possibly spice up your relationship
alittle.
Sometimes guys just try to relax by doing
a quickie to help relieve stress or
frustrations from the day. Also if he is
more sexually open like with anal or
threesomes, maybe you should talk to him
and see what can spice it up.. For
instance role playing or something.....
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peter peters
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Posts: 46
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Boyfriened Masturbates Too Much
Posted: 11-05-07 02:20am
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My reply is to "BuildABetterLife".
You must be joking to suggest that
masturbating more than three times a week
causes bruising, can hurt also can cause
premature ejaculation. Wow! what planet do
you live on? As several replies have said
the ONLY thing with the b/f "problem" is
that he does it in secret and thus
possibly feels guilty about it. On
occassions I personally have masturbated
many more times than three a week, more
than three times a day for many weeks and
I can assure you that I don't feel guilty,
nor sore and i definatly have NO premature
ejaculation problems, my sex drive is
great and I share a very active sex life
with a long term lady.
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 5557
Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
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Posted: 11-05-07 10:02am
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As long as you're physically fit,
masturbating shouldn't take so much energy
out of you that you can't manage to muster
up the energy for sex.
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