Joined: 22 Oct 2007 Posts: 19 Location: Dallas Metroplex, USA
"super Genius" Posted: 10-25-07 06:53am
I sometimes get a little tongue and cheek
about this problem I have but I think it
deserves some discussion. For a very long
time I have suffered from the grandiose
delusion that I am an undiscovered genius.
I take great pride in what I believe to be
a keen mind and I often feel that I can
understand anything and create anything.
If you looked at my bookshelf you would
understand the problem. There are advanced
textbooks on every technical subject under
the sun.
The problem is, quite frankly, that I'm
not a genius. I get these grandiose ideas
about doing something then I can hardly
lift a pencil to actually work on my idea.
This leads me to believe I am a failure,
and I get depressed .( I sense a strong
Bipolar component here.)
My general intelligence level is okay but
nothing to write home about. I know this,
but still, I find myself struggling to
stabilize my life around reasonable goals
and activities and not feel bad when I
can't do everything.
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Philo
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2007 Posts: 331 Location: Montreal
Thanks: 4
Thanked:0
Posted: 10-25-07 10:00am
I can relate, but in a different way. When
I did my university I finished my Master's
as one of the top of the class, and I was
quite proud of it. I went on to do my PhD
but dropped out partly because I started
having ideas that the university was the
work of the devil, and partly because I
was so ambitious and original that the
program seemed stupid, too traditional and
not worth doing. After I had my episode I
dulled down a lot and I'm not as smart
anymore. However, I still have interesting
ideas that I jot down (I have a whole
notebook of them) - they're ideas for
articles and books. I never really follow
an idea straight to finish - usually my
sickness gets in the way. My ambition has
remained with me, but my abilities have
decreased significantly. It's hard living
without great achievements.
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 10-25-07 12:40pm
This is for both of you and everyone in
general......Why don't you just try taking
these grandiose ideas and breaking them
down into really small, more attainable
goals? It will help you to aknowledge the
fact that you have these aspirations, and
also organize them into a reasonable way
to acheive them, and give you the sense
that you are actually making progress.
You'd have to do it in a way that best fit
your specific goals, but say you want to
write a book on some major physics
breakthrough. You could start by trying to
fill a small notepad sized sheet (like 3
by 5) of an idea every day, just a second
every day to jot down a thought. Just jot
down an idea or two, and once you have a
lot of these little notepad sheets, start
organizing them into categories. Once they
are into categories, and you have enough,
take a category and write a page. Once you
have a few pages, start organizing the
pages into a chapter. Etc....
With such a broad goal, it's really easy
for anyone to get overwhelmed. If you
purposely break it up into tiny little
goals that you can accomplish every day,
it might really help.
Of course, getting treatment for whatever
may be holding you back wouldn't hurt
either (if, Dorgus, it turns out that you
do suffer from bipolar)
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Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4159 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 159
Thanked:16
Re: "super Genius" Posted: 10-25-07 13:02pm
Dorgus
wrote:
I sometimes get a little
tongue and cheek about this problem I have
but I think it deserves some discussion.
For a very long time I have suffered from
the grandiose delusion that I am an
undiscovered genius. I take great pride in
what I believe to be a keen mind and I
often feel that I can understand anything
and create anything. If you looked at my
bookshelf you would understand the
problem. There are advanced textbooks on
every technical subject under the sun.
The problem is, quite frankly, that I'm
not a genius. I get these grandiose ideas
about doing something then I can hardly
lift a pencil to actually work on my idea.
This leads me to believe I am a failure,
and I get depressed .( I sense a strong
Bipolar component here.)
My general intelligence level is okay but
nothing to write home about. I know this,
but still, I find myself struggling to
stabilize my life around reasonable goals
and activities and not feel bad when I
can't do
everything.
Your not so different from alot of posters
on this board, although they don't realize
it's a delusion.
Anyways...sorry...
You have a lot of insight. You've solved
the first problem on your own. Are you
diagnosed with anything? Can you talk
about some of the manic episodes you
experience? The depression?
Are you talking to a professional? They
may be able to help you out on a regular
basis.
|
Dorgus
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Oct 2007 Posts: 19 Location: Dallas Metroplex, USA
a Little Background Posted: 10-26-07 12:19pm
I had a serious break with reality about
23 years ago while I was a university
student. Like all of my psychotic episodes
since then, this break was preceded by a
period of manic euphoria and grandiose
delusions. Yes, I get depressed too.
When I'm depressed I don't have psychotic
symptoms but I spend most of my time in
bed.
Since my initial breakdown, I have been
seeing a psychiatrist regularly.
Furthermore, family members live close by
and monitor my condition. My diagnosis is
"schizoaffective disorder", so I sort of
have a mixture of schizophrenic and
bipolar symptoms.
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 10-26-07 15:50pm
Is therapy a part of your treatment at
all? Sounds like a therapist might be able
to help you deal with the emotional side
of things.
|
Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4159 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 159
Thanked:16
Re: a Little Background Posted: 10-26-07 20:45pm
Dorgus
wrote:
I had a serious break with
reality about 23 years ago while I was a
university student. Like all of my
psychotic episodes since then, this break
was preceded by a period of manic euphoria
and grandiose delusions. Yes, I get
depressed too. When I'm depressed I don't
have psychotic symptoms but I spend most
of my time in bed.
Since my initial breakdown, I have been
seeing a psychiatrist regularly.
Furthermore, family members live close by
and monitor my condition. My diagnosis is
"schizoaffective disorder", so I sort of
have a mixture of schizophrenic and
bipolar
symptoms.
It seems like you have a good support
system in place. And you have insight
into your illness. You are doing well.
Take it one day at a time, man. What are
some of your goals in life?
|
woops
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Jul 2007 Posts: 224
Posted: 11-16-07 19:29pm
But I thought that being a genius wasn't a
good thing, they always end up killing
themselves or something of that nature, I
wouldn't bother feeling bad if you aren't
one. Besides, there isn't a whole lot to
know here.