Bipolar Disorder Forum - Am I Bi-polar, Or Is It All In My Head?

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Q: Am I Bi-polar, Or Is It All In My Head?

asked by: SamJade on October 24th, 2007

New User

I think I may be being stupid, but I don't know. I've been acting weird for about 3 years now ever since my parents got divorced. I've had this horrible temper that's gotten me into so much trouble and I'm just so moody all the time. About every other day my attitude is different. I'm so freaking happy and I feel like I'm on top of the world and I just have the biggest ego and then the next day, I feel so depressed and I hurt so much. For NO reason at all. I'll basically think back to something that happened forever ago and just hate myself and feel so bad. I'll cry myself to sleep every so often. I've tried telling my mom that I think I'm bi-polar and she just laughs and says "No, you're not! Don't be stupid!" And it's embarassing telling her that I think that, sometimes I just want to know if something is wrong with me. And if I'm not bi-polar or anything, then what IS wrong? Why do I act like this? I want to go to a doctor, but I doubt my mom would take me. I'm scared. I wish I had an answer about it. I've tried these online questionaires (which I know aren't always right.) and they've all said that I'm bi-polar and I should go see a doctor. I have the worst temper in the world and if one thing makes me mad, I want to throw something at the wall. It doesn't even matter what it is. If a friend tells me something I don't like, I get upset or depressed over it. I used to cut myself, which I now realize was a stupid thing to do. :[ My mom found out and yelled at me over it and I felt so bad. I told her I wanted to see a psychiatrist or something and she said, "You don't need to, all you need to talk to is me!" and I don't know how to talk to her about stuff that depresses me. She never wants to talk to me much anyways. I'm so worried about myself. I've thought about committing suicide and then the next minute I think that thinking about it is the dumbest thing ever and then the next day I'm thinking about it again.. I really shouldn't. I'm very pretty.. I have a lot of friends who love me, my family loves me, I make good grades. What is my problem? I get too easily stressed out and I can't concentrate on one thing at a time. I have these frequent times where I start telling a story and I end up talking so fast that I slurr my words and no one understands what I'm saying. I get so hyper naturally and I feel so obnoxious all the time. I don't know what to do.
I'm 16-years-old, by the way. :[
Please give me your full opinion. :/

Replies(3)

mellb

replied on October 24th, 2007

New User

You Know What.

I feel exactly the same way. I've been taking those online tests, I know they're not accurate or anything, but all of them have said I have some Bipolar Disorder or Manic Depression. I'd just watched The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive online and I found that I was agreeing with a lot of the things they said, but it all seems so normal to me. Other people, like my family, have pointed out that my attitude changes, i.e. I'm very hyperactive one day and the next I can't talk to anyone for more than five minutes without wanting to ram their heads against the wall.
I don't want to tell anyone though because I don't quite fancy the idea of my dad telling me not to be so stupid or asking me to tell him about it, or saying that it's all just in my head. I've been feeling really down lately, thinking that I might have it.
Sorry I couldn't help, but at least we both know someone else is going through the same thing.

abnrmlmind

replied on October 24th, 2007

Experienced User

Once Again..

try reading other posts ive replied to this once already if your 16 its possible your just having a rough time through puberty and/or depression. its hard to pin point you have bpd at your age because of how in the teenage stage your body is developing and your mind is too. thus causing confusion, anger, immaturity, and depression. once you hit your 20's your frontal lobe is more developed and you become more mature. therefore you become calm and think more logically and stop acting on impulses. usually if bpd or schizophrenia runs in your family theres a chance you have it also, its believed that its genetically passed on. You sound like the common teenager. perhaps practice in selfcontrol and anger management will do you good or just time and age.

daffodil67

replied on November 2nd, 2007

Experienced User

Gosh, I agree with the previosu poster that so much is changing in the adolescent mind...however, i DO think these kids may have a problem. Is there a school counselor you can talk to?? I needed help as a teen and didn't get it, but that was kind of back in teh dark ages, and my parents were kind of like the first girl's mother.

IF you feel like you are going to hurt yourself, TELL SOEMONE. An adult. Maybe you ahve a sympathetic aunt or someone like that. There are also hotlines for people in distress if you absolutely can't get evaluated and get to one of those danger points. Seriously.

My feeling is that I would rather be over cautious with teens who feel their parents are nto listenign to their fears of having a serious illness--I mean on a chat board when we don't really know them.

Also, maybe you two can buddy up and keep track of one another online, make sure you each are doing ok. there are LOTS of these boards, some more sym,pathestic and knoweldgeable than others. I find this one has so many posts by family members and stuf...it's not quite the same as the ones where it's jsut FOR people with problems.

Good luck.

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