okay...this is my first post....and my
topic scares me
....lately I've been very moody and
distressed...its like I'm never truly
happy anymore...i mean its like I'm
happy....i get really excited and very
hyper then BOOM!! like that im sad or
angry, and possibly in tears. like
yesterday, all day at school i was crying,
i felt like crud and i was just thinking
about alot...i couldnt smile or laugh or
joke...but today i was extremely happy
before school and during just about all my
classes...then i got on the bus and this
one girl made me very very very
angry....you know, almost like i couldnt
see straight....but anyways, i was sooo
mad!!

i wanted
to punch her then and there, but instead i
let it bottle inside me....just like i
always do....its like i cant tell anybody
what i feel and it stinks!! but as soon as
i stepped off the bus i burst into
tears...not even my mother could help
me...

i
didnt know why i was like that because
apparently a sixth grader wouldve never
EVER normally made me cry....and she didnt
today either...somethin else did, but i
dont know wat.... and it makes me SICK!!!
i even made my sister (who is 11)...well i
made her cry....and its like i dont even
remember why now..it scares me to think of
wat i could be capable of if i cant even
remember a little word fight between me
and my sis....what if i black out or get
so mad i cant even think....like if i get
EXTREMELY violent? im SCARED and i dont no
wat to do.... we cant afford to take me to
a docter (psychiatrist)...and im scared
that if i dont get help i may get way WAY
out of control....
im chelsey..im 14..and i think i have
bipolar disorder.. HELP ME PLZ!!