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Husband in hospital for bipolar -did I make the right choice

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i have never done anything like this before. my husband has just been put into hospital and i have never been so torn apart. we have been together for 3 years and have been through a lot (including losing my sister to bipolar last year) and i was well aware of his illness, it is one thing that brought us together, i have quite bad depression. until monday i never saw him go high. now, after having to make the descision to have him in hospital and seeing him for the1st time, i am so confused. he is so angry, so manipulative, and believes that he is perfectly ok, that i am having him kept there, like i have a say at this point. he is threatening to leave me or break out if he does not get released in the next 2 days. i am so scared. he is everything to me, but now, even though his voice is the same, he is a completely different person, even had his head shaved to a mohawk. he is so smart and knows how to twist the situation, so now i am left feeling unsure as to whether or not i made the right choice. my mind says yes, but my heart is in half. i am so scared that he will never forgive me, and that he will leave me, and he is everything to me. please someone let me know i am not alone. i need to know that this happens to others, or if it does not, then i guess i made the wrong choice. i am so confused and so hurt.
please help
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First Helper User Profile Birch
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replied October 24th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
leave him there
he needs help

if he gets out before he gets helped hes going to be one very mad man
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replied October 24th, 2007
Experienced User
My husband became so distraught one time in the hospital that he thought his doctor was trying to poison him. He thought the nurses didn't want him to have clean clothes. He even threw his bag of dirty laundry at them & they put him in the locked section of the ward. Remember, your husband is NOT WELL right now. He's in the hospital to get him well. Try not to feel guilty about his situation. You have done the best thing for him. He will try to make you feel guilty. Realize this is a ruse to garner attention & sympathy. Step back & take some time to yourself. You need to heal through this process too.

Every time my hubby has gone into the hospital (maybe 4 x in 6 yrs), I get EXTREMELY emotional & depressed. I threw his hairbrush across a room once & broke it because I was so upset. Every time that hubby has been admitted into the hospital, it is an emotional rollercoaster for me. Please PM me if you would like to discuss this more. I've definitely "been there, done that."

BYD
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replied October 24th, 2007
yeah leave him there once he gets better he will realize how stupid his been acting and comeback you for sincere apologies.
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replied October 25th, 2007
please remember, you're doing the right thing for him. Hopefully once he comes out of the hospital he'll realize that you did the right thing.

Don't worry, getting help is the best way to recovery, and the sooner he recovers, the sooner things will get back to normal.

take care and good luck! You've made the right decision
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replied October 25th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Re: So Confused
kaniastar wrote:
i have never done anything like this before. my husband has just been put into hospital and i have never been so torn apart. we have been together for 3 years and have been through a lot (including losing my sister to bipolar last year) and i was well aware of his illness, it is one thing that brought us together, i have quite bad depression. until monday i never saw him go high. now, after having to make the descision to have him in hospital and seeing him for the1st time, i am so confused. he is so angry, so manipulative, and believes that he is perfectly ok, that i am having him kept there, like i have a say at this point. he is threatening to leave me or break out if he does not get released in the next 2 days. i am so scared. he is everything to me, but now, even though his voice is the same, he is a completely different person, even had his head shaved to a mohawk. he is so smart and knows how to twist the situation, so now i am left feeling unsure as to whether or not i made the right choice. my mind says yes, but my heart is in half. i am so scared that he will never forgive me, and that he will leave me, and he is everything to me. please someone let me know i am not alone. i need to know that this happens to others, or if it does not, then i guess i made the wrong choice. i am so confused and so hurt.
please help


I used to work in a psych unit, and I assure you this is all very normal. This is a traumatic situation for the entire family.

At this point, I think that even if you insisted he be released it would not happen.

I am sorry you are going through this. I suggest you talk to a counselor at the hospital because it is a crisis and you need support.
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replied March 20th, 2013
Thank you for this comment!
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replied March 8th, 2011
my husband has just gone into hospital after a terrible week of him being on a high. He accused me of having an affair and my daughter taking drugs. He wouldnt sleep or eat but was buzzing about everywhere thinking people wer out o get him and that bad things were happening in the world. He went so cruel towards myself and my daughter. i dont think my daughter can forgive him after the way he treated her. He was writing things about conspiricies and talking to himself all the time. Saturday I had to call the police because of the way he was acting. The police took him to the hospital where he is in a locked mental health unit. I know he will hate me for sending him there cos he did ten years ago when I put him in hospital on his first episode of bipolar. I suffer from depression myself so am finding it very hard to cope with all this. I darent go to see him incase he showa aggression towards me like he did on saturday.
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replied March 20th, 2013
My husband and I have been married almost 16 years. He has always had "manic" behaviors like overspending, being impulsive sometimes and some major depression at times but until a month and a half ago I had NO idea just what bipolar was all about. Since my husband has never had a full blown manic episode I could have never imagined him doing the things he has done. Spending thousands of dollars, leaving me and the kids because all of our friends are out to get him. Warning others of the end of the world. Kidnapping myself and the kids and taking us half across the country to save us because the end is here before the police caught up with us... Getting angry to the point that for the first time ever I was afraid of him. He spent a week homeless in another state and refused to come home. Even with all of this I feel SOOOO guilty that I put him in the hospital. I know it's the best thing for him and I feel safer with him gone. I miss him and he hates me. I am comforted just knowing I am not the only one going through this. I know I am not much comfort to you, I wish I could be but just know you are not alone.
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