Im 42 and until 3 yrs ago I had never been able to work. I was lucky that my husband had a great job and it wasn't needed. We finally found the right cocktail of drugs that was working for me and I felt free. I was leading a normal life most of the time. My son started college and we went in debt up to our butts. Now I have to work. I take cymbalta, wellbutrin, lamital.geodon and trazadone. I've been taking them for about 4 yrs. Just like all the rest I can feel them starting not to work as good. I'm on the max doses of most of them. I was so bad at work the other night that my manager told me to go home. I scared a couple of the girls I work with. They all know I'm bipolar. (My Dr. thought it was a good idea to let them know.) I was getting angery over little things and talking to myself.
( actually I was talking to the voices I was hearing but that they dont need to know). I haven't had the voices in a few years. It started like hearing a radio in the distance usually when I was in bed ready to go to sleep. Then It was hearing my name called out. Now they talk to me. Nothing violent just talk. for ex. a customer came up to me the other day and my voice told me she looked like a $#@%$. I laughed and the customer just looked at me weird. When I told my Dr. about it he said he never heard of a voice talking to someone like that. back to my real problem. I dont know how much longer I can work, but I cant afford not too. I have thought about disability but I was told you cant work for a year before you can get it. What about insurance. My copays take half of what I make each month. Anybody out their got any ideas. The only thing I can think of is running. Leaving everything. Moving in with my mom and hiding for awhile. I use to do this quite often. I feeling like im falling backwards and cant stop myself.