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Have You Ever Felt Like This? (Page 1)

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Im usually soo excited about being pregnant and having a baby but there are days (like today) that I feel overwhelmed by the thought. I am sooo in love with my fiance its always been him and I. I've lived with him since I was 17 (in our own place) and worked with him for so long so we would see each other 24/7 and even then that felt like it wasnt enough time lol Im terrified that things between us are goin to change once Lil baby Emery gets here, I have always said Im goin to put Dust number one and our relationship my top priority...anyone ever feel like maybe they CANT do it?
Sorry he started a new job today and I just miss him terribly...sighs Sad
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replied October 22nd, 2007
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I think everyone feels like this at times.
When you bring the baby home, things WILL change. The sooner you come to terms with that, the easier you will be able to cope with the change.
Babies change EVERYTHING.
Baby Emery should be #1, and the relationship should be #2.
It's okay to miss someone so terribly, but you can't possibly be with someone 24/7.
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Experienced User
See I have to disagree, I will never put my baby first because then I would be jepordizing my relationship with my Fiance..I believe that if you have a strong foundation, (aka meaning a stable relationship) it will only benefit the baby, if she sees that her mommy is so in love with her daddy and that theres stability there she will grow up in a HEALTHY environment...I know its really taboo in this society but Its how I feel Very Happy
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
to a certain degree i agree with you Daniella!!

But why do we have to put anybody first priority?? We should be all equal.Smile
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replied October 22nd, 2007
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You are certainly entitled to believe that.

For me, I will ALWAYS put my child before ANYONE, even myself.
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Hey, who knows when my Gracie arrives i might think differently. Smile
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replied October 22nd, 2007
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pixma wrote:
Hey, who knows when my Gracie arrives i might think differently. Smile


I think you might. But you won't know until she gets here!!
I can relate to both of you. When I was pregnant, I wanted to have my relationship stable for the sake of Kyleigh, but things change once you meet this little baby face-to-face.
It's so much different than feeling her inside. You get to look at her. She looks at you. It's instant, unconditional love.
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Experienced User
Yea I get that I am goin to love and cherish her but I want my relationship with my Fiance to always be numero uno, but I also think everyone should be equal ya know. I just dont think its fair to put ur marriage or relationship on the back burner because u have a baby I think its healthiest for everyone in my opinion
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Marianne0558 wrote:
pixma wrote:
Hey, who knows when my Gracie arrives i might think differently. Smile


I think you might. But you won't know until she gets here!!
I can relate to both of you. When I was pregnant, I wanted to have my relationship stable for the sake of Kyleigh, but things change once you meet this little baby face-to-face.
It's so much different than feeling her inside. You get to look at her. She looks at you. It's instant, unconditional love.


I really hope you are right!

I realise life as i know it will change and will never be the same again. I thrive on taking care of my fiance, to me it has given me a purpose in life as stupid as that may sound.

Juggling both is going to be a challenge for me along with taking care of myself. Smile
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replied October 22nd, 2007
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Oh yes. I know what you are going to be dealing with. I've been juggling the 2 for almost 2 years.
It is very different once you actually have the baby home.
I'm a stay-at-home mother (for now) and all I do is clean, take care of Kyleigh, take care of (try to) my fiance. It's hard work. It's worth it though.
I was merely pointing out that not all relationships are forever. If something bad (God forbid) happened in the relationship, your child would be first, not the fiance.
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replied October 22nd, 2007
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Now u have a good point I will only put the father of my baby first (if we are still together) no other man say we do break up will ever go before my baby..does that make sense? Im not saying all relationships should be put above ur child but I feel strongly that the mother and father should work their best at staying together therefore putting the relationship first...(I grew up in a broken home..was NOT fun)
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
But look at it like this..
some fathers abuse their children (in no way am I saying yours will Im just trying to get a point across)
if your child was being abused, would you side with your fiancee over your child because that relationship is number 1?
Trust me when you look at your baby's face, that kind of love is the strongest thing you will ever feel in your life.
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replied October 22nd, 2007
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I grew up in a broken home as well. It's NOT fun. But that would never, ever, ever make me see how it is right to put a relationship before your own flesh and blood.

The man can always take care of himself in the end. The baby cannot. It relies on you to keep it alive and well.
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replied October 22nd, 2007
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Marianne0558 wrote:
I grew up in a broken home as well. It's NOT fun. But that would never, ever, ever make me see how it is right to put a relationship before your own flesh and blood.

The man can always take care of himself in the end. The baby cannot. It relies on you to keep it alive and well.


agreed.
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Especially eHealthy
Things will change when the baby comes. It is natural and it happens to everyone. Your 'family' goes from 2 to 3 and the dynamics of your relationship will have to change. Babies are a 24/7 job and will make the demand to be put first. Above your own sleep. Above your own schedule. Above your relationship with your fiancee. A baby is a demanding little dictator of your time and energy. Smile Thankfully they are cute and we love them mady, huh? Smile

It is overwhelming at first. You'll get the hang of it. You and your fiancee will both change and become different people in the process. That is part of the beauty of expanding and growing as a family.
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Especially eHealthy
eventually hun the baby will be your number 1
you think youlove your fiance alot now just wait to see how much you are in love with your child!!!!!

its okay to feel this way though!
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
It makes sense what you are saying about wanting to have a solid foundation for your child but honestly once that baby is here you will see that nothing will be more important than he or she. But I can also say from experience that having a baby, as stressful and time consuming as it may be, will actually make you love your fiance more. I found that when I saw my husband with my daughter I fell in love with him all over again because she was both a part of us and it made us whole.

Just remember to try to take some time for the two of you. It may be hectic at first but once everything settles down and you get on a schedule than maybe make a date night where it is just you and your fiance. It really helps the two of you just have time to focus on each other even if it is just for a little while.

So good luck and remember it is normal to feel this way........but really expect it to change because I am sure it will!!
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Experienced User
I agree with putting your relationship first.

I am aware my baby will be number one to both me and my husband making us both number 2 to each other but the relationship meaning us as a couple (not my husband as an individual) will, in my opinion, always come first. If we do not have a healthy relationship, if we slip apart or lose interest or if we don’t care for and nurture whatever challenges come with our future then our child will not have the stability he needs for his own happiness.

I guess in a sense putting our relationship first will enable us to put our baby (as an individual) first as well. Obviously most of you will disagree with me but I have spoken with several veteran mommies, wives and husbands that always say put your relationship first...
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Especially eHealthy
People who have the view of 'putting their partner first' are always mothers who haven't had their child yet.

once you have your baby and feel the overwhelming protective instinct and love- you will put s/he before EVERYONE.

I would be very worried if you didn't. That's what the foundation of being a mother is all about
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I'm pregnant with my first and already plan on putting my child before anything or anyone.
I know I will feel more love for this little person than I have ever felt in my entire life, and I can't wait.
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