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When I was 15, I got pregnant. My then boyfriend and I placed our son for adoption. It's semi-open and I am still very happy with the decision, though I do miss my son more than anything.

Now, my son is just over 14 months. I'll be 17 next month. And I'm about 7 weeks pregnant. I just found out yesturday. Luckily, the guy I'm with now is quite different from my son's birthfather. My current boyfriend is excited, but I'm nervous.

This was definitely unplanned. I'm not going to say I'm not a bit excited, but if I could go back, I wouldn't have done it. We used protection every time and though, I know, I should have been on birth control, things happened to where I wasn't.

I'm not really looking for advice, but I am looking for support. Maybe someone who's in a situation that's similar. I just feel like I need to talk about it.

Thanks in advance!
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Do you think you will keep this child? Have you told your parents?
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Especially eHealthy
My cousin did this exact same thing. Only, she got pregnant when the baby she gave up for adoption was only 1 month old. She was with the same father and kept the second child. She married the father and they are still married.

You know what is right for you.
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Experienced User
I hope for the child's sake that s/he doesn't try to find the birth parents in your cousins case.That would feel like a slap in the face.I would NEVER accept the fact that my parents gave me up for adoption then got pregnant with another child a month later and kept it.I would be so mad! But that's just my opinion.
I hope that everything works out ok for all the birth parents,hopefully you meet your kids one day and can say that you just weren't ready for kids at that point in your life.
Your cousin will never be able to say that,I'm curious as to what kind of thing she would tell the child if they were to meet.
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replied October 22nd, 2007
I haven't told my parents just yet. I found out yesturday so I'm trying to find the gentlest way to break the news. I am scheduling a doctors appointment the day after tomorrow.

As of right now, I plan on keeping this child. It's not that I'd "like this child better" than my first born. But I'm older now (though not by much, I know) and I'm with a much better guy. I think that my son will understand, especially with the parents he has. Of course, things may change and I may decide that adoption would be best for this child as well.

I want to do what's right for my child, but I need to do what's right for me as well. I honestly don't think I can handle placing another child. And though I'd never persecute someone for getting an abortion, I won't do it myself.

Though I'm nervous, I'm still slightly excited, but I'm also still deep in shock. Even though I knew there was a chance, I guess I still thought I wouldn't get pregnant since we used protection every time. Proof condoms don't always work.
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Especially eHealthy
sweet_mom wrote:
I hope for the child's sake that s/he doesn't try to find the birth parents in your cousins case.That would feel like a slap in the face.I would NEVER accept the fact that my parents gave me up for adoption then got pregnant with another child a month later and kept it.I would be so mad! But that's just my opinion.
I hope that everything works out ok for all the birth parents,hopefully you meet your kids one day and can say that you just weren't ready for kids at that point in your life.
Your cousin will never be able to say that,I'm curious as to what kind of thing she would tell the child if they were to meet.


Everyone is different. In fact, in my cousins case, she was kind of forced to give the child up because of RELIGIOUS reasons. She was shunned by her family and her church and everyone she knew.

I guess, what I would tell a child had I ever given one up, would be that I did what I felt was the very best for them. That perhaps I was giving that child away to someone who was capable of being a parent and wanted a child so badly. A child they could not have naturally. Someone who was stable and giving and educated that could provide a home with love and siblings and everything I would know I couldn't give that child. I would tell that child that my heart broke when I had to give up the most important thing in my life, but I knew in my heart that was the right thing for them to be raised in a home where they were not just wanted but adored beyond anything else.

I'm not sure what you think you know about adoption, but it is not 'bad'. My husband is adopted. He found his birth mom and you know what he said to her? He said, "Thank you for giving me to my parents." His birth mother was 16 years old and could have never provided the family his PARENTS gave him. He is thankful.

My mother gave my sister up for adoption. My sister found us. She is fabulous! We are very close. She has the best parents ever. My mom, her birth mom, is not her 'mom' but her friend.

Maybe you should rethink adoption.
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Ingi wrote:
sweet_mom wrote:
I hope for the child's sake that s/he doesn't try to find the birth parents in your cousins case.That would feel like a slap in the face.I would NEVER accept the fact that my parents gave me up for adoption then got pregnant with another child a month later and kept it.I would be so mad! But that's just my opinion.
I hope that everything works out ok for all the birth parents,hopefully you meet your kids one day and can say that you just weren't ready for kids at that point in your life.
Your cousin will never be able to say that,I'm curious as to what kind of thing she would tell the child if they were to meet.


Everyone is different. In fact, in my cousins case, she was kind of forced to give the child up because of RELIGIOUS reasons. She was shunned by her family and her church and everyone she knew.

I guess, what I would tell a child had I ever given one up, would be that I did what I felt was the very best for them. That perhaps I was giving that child away to someone who was capable of being a parent and wanted a child so badly. A child they could not have naturally. Someone who was stable and giving and educated that could provide a home with love and siblings and everything I would know I couldn't give that child. I would tell that child that my heart broke when I had to give up the most important thing in my life, but I knew in my heart that was the right thing for them to be raised in a home where they were not just wanted but adored beyond anything else.

I'm not sure what you think you know about adoption, but it is not 'bad'. My husband is adopted. He found his birth mom and you know what he said to her? He said, "Thank you for giving me to my parents." His birth mother was 16 years old and could have never provided the family his PARENTS gave him. He is thankful.

My mother gave my sister up for adoption. My sister found us. She is fabulous! We are very close. She has the best parents ever. My mom, her birth mom, is not her 'mom' but her friend.

Maybe you should rethink adoption.


I absolutely agree. Though it was hard to place my child in someone else's arms and know I wouldn't see him for a very long time, I knew I was doing the right thing.

I love my son more than life itself. I didn't "give him up" I placed him with a family who couldn't physically have children. He will have a better life than (a) I had and (b) what I would have provided at the time. Though it was, quite honestly, the hardest decision I've ever made, it was also the best. Not for me, but for my son.

This time, things are different.
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Especially eHealthy
MomToBeAgain wrote:

I absolutely agree. Though it was hard to place my child in someone else's arms and know I wouldn't see him for a very long time, I knew I was doing the right thing.

I love my son more than life itself. I didn't "give him up" I placed him with a family who couldn't physically have children. He will have a better life than (a) I had and (b) what I would have provided at the time. Though it was, quite honestly, the hardest decision I've ever made, it was also the best. Not for me, but for my son.

This time, things are different.


I'm glad you are at peace with your decision. ((hugs)) Your son will have a great life!
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replied October 22nd, 2007
Thank you so much! It's so wonderful to know there are people out there who support adoption!
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replied October 23rd, 2007
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MomToBeAgain wrote:
Thank you so much! It's so wonderful to know there are people out there who support adoption!

I admire every girl/woman who gives a child up for adoption, i could never be strong enough to do that. it takes a very special person to put their life on hold to give a child a better life then they can give them. I think you are amazing
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replied October 23rd, 2007
Dannzibelle wrote:
MomToBeAgain wrote:
Thank you so much! It's so wonderful to know there are people out there who support adoption!

I admire every girl/woman who gives a child up for adoption, i could never be strong enough to do that. it takes a very special person to put their life on hold to give a child a better life then they can give them. I think you are amazing


Thank you very much. I've gotten a lot of positive responses from people when I tell them about my son, but I've also gotten a lot of negative ones as well. I think the worst was a girl, a teen mom, who told me that "adoption is just like abortion. You should have just gotten an abortion." That was hard and it hurt because I knew it wasn't true.

But knowing that there are girls and women out there who have made the same decision and/or support that decision really negates all those poor outlooks on it.
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replied October 23rd, 2007
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that girl sounds iggnorant.. adoption and abortion are way differnt, my best friend is adopted and shes ok with it, her mom was also 16 at the time she had my friend and my friend has a couple health problems that her birth mom probably couldnt afford to fixwhile her parents could...

i think you must be a strong woman, i could never let me son be adopted.
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replied October 23rd, 2007
hi im 16 , an i have got a kid an my girl friendwanted to get rid of it but i said no an then i left school early an startin workin an got ma self a flat now my girl friend has moved in an its brilliant so it must be had to put a baby in to care
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replied October 23rd, 2007
Hi I lurk on here often but dont post that much.
I just wanted to say im kinda in the same position. I gave my first daughter up for adoption cause I just couldnt provide for her at the time, and my life was not stable. Now I am pregnant again with a boy and will be keeping this one. It is with the same father. Its not that I love my son more, I just feel that im ready to raise a child now. My daughter has a great life with her parents, and they are so sweet to me for giving them such a gift.
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replied October 23rd, 2007
Especially eHealthy
lacey87 wrote:
Hi I lurk on here often but dont post that much.
I just wanted to say im kinda in the same position. I gave my first daughter up for adoption cause I just couldnt provide for her at the time, and my life was not stable. Now I am pregnant again with a boy and will be keeping this one. It is with the same father. Its not that I love my son more, I just feel that im ready to raise a child now. My daughter has a great life with her parents, and they are so sweet to me for giving them such a gift.


Good for you. ((hugs)) That was an amazing gift to give them.
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replied October 24th, 2007
Do you even use birth control?
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replied October 24th, 2007
I was on birth control after I had my son. Then, I moved, got off birth control.

When I met my current boyfriend I had planned on getting back on birth control. But some things happened and I ended up getting pregnant before I got on birth control.
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replied October 30th, 2007
Experienced User
Thank you very much. I've gotten a lot of positive responses from people when I tell them about my son, but I've also gotten a lot of negative ones as well. I think the worst was a girl, a teen mom, who told me that "adoption is just like abortion. You should have just gotten an abortion." That was hard and it hurt because I knew it wasn't true.


oh my goodness! what a horrible thing to say. Mad
my first son passed away from meningitis as an infant, and i would much rather have him being loved and comforted in another family's arms then be alone and cold in a casket. death and adoption are not comparable, even in the most remote way. that girl was very ignorant and inexperienced in life. she will grow and mature, and maybe someday will realize what a terrible thing she did by saying that.
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replied October 30th, 2007
Experienced User
hi, i am 15 and a mother to a 2 year old boy and at first i thorght about giving him up as i was only 13.Although tried and i could not go through with it. I have now got a 2 and a half month old baby boy. I am still with the farther as they have the same dad and we are engaged to get married on my 16th birthday (christmas eve)and we have our own little family and would not change it for the world.

Hope you are ok and i think that you are doing the right thing.

What that girl said is wrong as abortion and adoption are two totally different things. If you have an abortion you are getting rid of the baby and if you have an adoption you are giving the baby to a loving family. That will care and love the baby for themselves.

good luck and keep me informed
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replied October 30th, 2007
Thank you all very much!

Today is my first doctors visit. It's just the medical history and confirmation pregnancy test, but I'm still kind of excited!

Again, thank you all for the support, I really appreciate it!
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