Depression Forum - Gastric Bypass, Depression, Emotional

Mental Health > Depression Forum > Gastric Bypass, Depression, Emotional

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Q: Gastric Bypass, Depression, Emotional

asked by: PJW on October 20th, 2007

New User

I had gastric bypass 2 years ago. I look and feel great however; I suffer on an emotional rollercoaster.Sometimes I am up and have a positive attitude in life Smile

, and than down and I want the world to go away Sad

. I become extremely insecure about my looks as well as who I am Question

. Many of my good emotions is based on how others compliment me, not just on looks but how well I do my work, etc. I am trapped in a fantasy world that I escape to about being with other men ( I have a boyfriend of 7 years who is a great man). I am so worried I will stray from him Confused

. I feel so many things every day and nothing is firm in my heart. My everyday life is extremely busy (I am a widow with 2 teens & a 20 yr old with a new baby, yes I am also Grandma at 41 yrs old, I work 2 jobs as well as keep house). I also feel I have know time to do things I enjoy doing (Play guitar, work in my yard...)ANYWAY, I just want a clear head and I wish I had someone to relate to on this subject of confusing feelings and how to keep my heart and mind healthy. Things get so overwelming emotionaly, that I just want to do the functional stuff I need to do. I am NOT sucicidal, I am too busy for that. Very Happy

Replies(6)

CarolDiane

replied on October 21st, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

You sound like a wonderful lady. My response to you would have to be, stop depending on others to make you feel good. Feel good about yourself. Know that you have come a long way and look at what a difference you see in the mirror. Your as good as you feel not as you look.
As for the boyfriend. Well, if your thinking about straying then there must not be a lot of love for this man in the first place and I would venture to say that it would be a good idea to start spacing yourself from him gradually just in case another relationship comes your way and you want to give it a try. This way it won't hit him like a ton of bricks.

Carrie

PJW

replied on October 21st, 2007

New User

Hi, Thank you for your reply. I appreciate the advice about my appearence. I think my new body throws me off. I get a lot of attention and I like it. It has been a lot of compliments and now I am "addicted" in a sense to wanting to hear them each day. As I am writing this it feels good to admit that because I am truly searching for a balance and to feel good about myself without depending on others. It's hard to change a lifelong mindset of low self esteem but I believe time will allow that to happen. Being in my fourties has been an eyeopener in all areas of my life.

PJW

replied on October 21st, 2007

New User

AAAAH!, I did something wrong when I posted my other reply this is a continuation of what I was saying........As far as my boyfriend, I love him very much and see us spending the rest of our lives together. We have grown together in many areas, I was even able to discuss with him my "secrets". I think my "fantasies" is a result of the ongoing attention I have been recieving. I really believe I have to continue to work through all this and it will take time. Part of working this through is talking about it and fortunatly being able to post my thoughts here and listen to other thoughts. Thanks!

Georgia59

replied on October 22nd, 2007

Especially eHealthy

Oh girl you need some time to yourself!! You are so busy you don't have time to know who you are!

Is it possible for you to get away for a weekend? Tell your teens to do the dishes and escape, get in touch with yourself, relax, clear your mind.... (no men!)

CarolDiane

replied on October 22nd, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Sounds to me like you are already making some great head way here. You are probably a beautiful woman and do deserve the compliments. I probably would feel the same way. I think in time, this will work its way out. Don't worry over such small stuff. I agree with Georgia, get away for awhile. Take a weekend off and do something for yourself and you boyfriend if you wish to include him. You deserve that too ya know.

Have fun on your weekend girl!

Carrie

anitab2009

replied on May 15th, 2009

New User

I am a gastric bypass patient also 42 years of age and having some of the same issues with depression. I am going to talk to my doctor about this unexpected side affect though and just hope I can work through it.
I just don't feel like I should about myself.
The skin is driving me nuts and I have never had a really good self image anyway and it is getting worse not better, and is anyone have a sexual desire issue after surgery is so I would like to hear and talk about it I do not have any desire for sex or closeness of my spouse or anyone for that matter. Is it normal for my age or is it the surgery?

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