I have a brother whom I see once every couple years. He only calls when he has something important going on, he is usually manic, very selfish, materialistic, and I cannot remember the last time he asked me how I am or even what I'm doing. When I was in a couple rough spots years ago all he did was belittle me on the phone and hang up on me. He refuses to call his relatives, and I end up being the bouncer. He has been like this for years.

Our family enables his behavior by excusing his noncontact and selfish mannerisms by saying, "Oh, he's busy" or "Oh, the girlfriend he's with won't let him call us" even though he's really just a jerk. Our grandparents are desperate to talk to him and it makes me very sad to see it.

He called me last week to tell me that I was to come to his wedding this weekend. He is getting married for the second time to the woman he cheated on his first wife with. He is her third husband. It's very chaotic. They have decided to get married in their favorite bar, and of course he didn't tell our family and I am forbidden from sharing this news.

I agreed to go, but in retrospect I am ticked at myself for the knee jerk reaction of 'giving in' to him once again. I'm tired of enabling him and acting like he's some really pleasant person to be around. This is not a little deal; it is going to take a four hour car trip and as a person who is excessively busy I don't have the time, and as a student I really don't have the gas money.

I'm ready to put my foot down. He cannot keep treating people like this and get away with it.

What do you all think?