Pregnancy Community Chat Forum - What Do I Do? (long)

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Q: What Do I Do? (long)

asked by: Marfa2107 on October 18th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

okay..
so this friend of mine moved in with me 2wks ago
and we had planned on getting our own place (we live with my parents)
but i have recently learned she is a SLOB...and i cannot live with her
she has been here 2wks and still hasn't unpacked...
and when i do her laundry...
she just leaves it on her bed..or wears it as i get it done so she
doesn't have to put it up...
the other day i came home from picking up my boyfriend..
and she had left my straightener in the bathroom turned on..
water ALL OVER the sink..
bobby pins everywhere
but had time to get my laptop out and leave it on my bed.
she's always on my laptop...and always has my phone (even though she
has her own)...

when she gets out of the shower she apparently doesn't dry off
b/c the floor was so wet my mom had to pick up the rugs so the backing
didn't stick to our floor...

she got mad at me b/c i wouldn't help her change the sheets on her bed
and they still haven't been done...

she's always complaining that she is hungry or bored
and i tell her "there's soup in the fridge, pizza rolls, chips...get up and get
something" and she just replies "no i just wont eat" like she's expecting
me to get up and fix her something...

sorry this is so long
but i'm just sick of living with her and she's only been here for 2 wks
idk how to tell her...

oh and she keeps saying she's going to save up money and help me
move out when she got $100 last friday and it was gone by monday
she went out and bought a brand new cell phone
and then her paycheck this week she's getting a tattoo with..

...when i'm left putting all of my money in the bank to save up
except for when i need gas...

Replies(15)

Mabel

replied on October 18th, 2007

Moderator

Oh the roommate situation!

I understand the need for roommates, I do. It is expensive to live on your own. But I will point out that no one keeps roommates into their, say, 30's. There is a reason for that. Because this kind of thing always happens.

It is difficult to find people whose personalities match well enough to live together. And heaven forbid you have more than one roommate to live with. Yikes!

OctoberBaby06

replied on October 18th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Ohh I cannot live with roomates!! My best friend & I tried that right after we graduated high school & we did nothing but fight.. From who's turn it was to do the dishes right down to who bought what food & what wasn't suppose to be eaten by the other person. It was horrible. Me, personally, I wouldn't move in with your friend. I know from experience what it can do to a friendship! On the other hand, some friends can live together fine, mine can't that's for sure!

chrissy721

replied on October 18th, 2007

Active User, very eHealthy

ahh man, that sucks! She sounds like a real bum to me. Ingi is right about about those kinds of things happening though. Smile

Marfa2107

replied on October 18th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

oh i'm not moving in with her..
i just need to know what to say to her..
without being mean

OctoberBaby06

replied on October 18th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I'd just be up front about it, tell her you really didn't know what you were getting yourself into & that now you don't feel you'd be able to live together.

Marfa2107

replied on October 18th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

hmm yeah..
but then she's going to either have to keep living in my parents house
or find somewhere else to live....
and that would be awkward cuz she's going to get mad

OctoberBaby06

replied on October 18th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Have you tried talking to her about how messy she is?

Marfa2107

replied on October 18th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

not yet
but i want to
i just don't know how to approach the subject...
cuz it's usually just me and her here...
and it would be awkward afterwards...
i'm thinking of maybe having my parents here with me
to help me try and explain it to her..
cuz it is their house that she's not being respectful to

OctoberBaby06

replied on October 18th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Yeah I'd def talk to her about it & maybe if your parents were there she would take it a little more seriously. I can't imagine staying at someone else's house & being a slob like that though.

Marfa2107

replied on October 18th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

that's why I have decided i don't wanna live with her...
b/c if she's going to treat my parents house this way
no telling what she would do to mine...

OctoberBaby06

replied on October 18th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

Exactly! I'm such a neat freak though, I honestly don't know how Shane lives with me haha.

Marfa2107

replied on October 18th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

haha
Michael is a total neat freak
and i'm not gunna say i'm a slob
but i definitely don't make my bed everyday...
but i also can't stand clothes being thrown everywhere
and sheets not changed on beds...

OctoberBaby06

replied on October 18th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

We don't make our bed everyday either. The only time I'll make it is if we're having company over & I know that they'll be upstairs for whatever reason. Changing sheets is a big thing to me, I change ours & Kaylee's every week & sometimes even twice a week ... Everything has to be in it's perfect little place or I go crazy. I swear sometimes I have OCD. & our bathroom.. I'm a freak about how clean the bathroom is too.

Mommy35

replied on October 18th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

I can sympathize with you completely. A few years ago I found that I needed a room mate to help me with my house expenses. At first it was great, but after awhile I felt like a freaking maid. I hated it. Finally I just sat her down and bluntly (but nicely) let her know my concerns. It didn't help, but I felt better getting it off my chest. I wouldn't say I'm a neat freak either, my home is certainly lived in, but there are certain areas of the house that need to be very clean---the bathroom and the kitchen. Dishes need to be done daily or at least put in the dishwasher to be hidden and there should never be hair, toothpaste or anything ucky in the sink or bathtub drain...EWWW it just sends me over the edge.

Anytime you are voicing concerns try wording your concerns in a way that makes it seem like you are owning your feelings. They are called I statements. Ex... "When I come home and your clothes are all over the bathroom I feel frustrated (disgusted) because I really try to keep the house clean". Instead of "When you leave your clothes on the bathroom floor it angers me off".

At least you know now what a slob she is so you can decide against living with her.

Marfa2107

replied on October 18th, 2007

Extremely eHealthy

thanks for the advice guys..
=)
i'm probably going to talk to her tomorrow
or Monday cuz she's going to her mom's this weekend..

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