so you're a junior now? why not wait until after you graduate? i just don't understand the rush.

so what if you guys split
relationships are NOT guarenteed and they dont always last forever
have you thought about that? because guess what? even if you both "love each other sooo much" and think yu are invincable against life and time right now, he could leave you anyday. same for you
sh** happens so be ready for it
have a backup plan because you need to think about your childs life and not what YOU want

sounds like you are trying to rush things. are you insecure about yourself and your relationship?

Why not learn to spell married before you want to get married?

Hun you are a child, I understand that at 16 girls do get pregnant and that happens and they choose to keep the child. But that is an adult decision that resulted from an unadult decision.

However, choooooosing to TTC at age 16 is ultimately not a mature decision. You "think" you have the means to cover a baby? I hate that young girls think of it that way.. its not just having a baby!!

Its not that same as holding your cousins baby for 12 hours during thanksgiving, or babysitting the neighbors twins when they go out to dinner. Its not all about cute outfits and the hipest stroller.

Having a CHILD, not a baby, is a life long commitment. To grow up, have that education behind you to educate your child, to make correct decisions. Having the financial stability to support your child whether its food, clothing, housing, security, safety, and health benefits. OR buying him/her that $20 toy they want sooooo bad when "oh caca you realized you only have $31's till next pay day!"

What do you do on the weekends? Whats important to you?

Having a child is an adult decision, it is something you need to be mentally, physcially, financially, emotionally stable for.

Not to plan to live off the government, plan to live with your parents, plan to depend on others.

Yes depending on others is okay whennnn you are capable of caring for yourself. Which you are not.

I went to school, I graduated highschool, went to college and working in a career not a minimum wage job and I stillll struggle. Why do you not want to try and be able to wait till you are able to provide everything for your child. Have all the back ups covered.

I apologize if you feel like I am chewing you out.

But I dated in highschool too. My 8thgrade/freshman boyfriend wanted to marrrrry me too. The guy I dated for 3 more years in highschool, loved me and wanted a future with me too. But guess what? I am with niether!

Nothing is set in stone in highschool. Nothing is official.





p.s. Suzy please dont take offense to any of this!

jessamyn i dont take offence to it
youve got a child so you know how it is
i respect that
young girls can be good moms too
youve got to have your life together. you have to have a back up plan and not just think about whats now and thinking it will be like that forever. because life changes so fast. life doesnt stay the same. anything can happen anytime.

what do you do if he cheats on you when your preg?
what do you do if he leaves you? what if he dies in a car wreck?
how will YOU provide for your baby by yourself? if you cant then youre not ready for a baby.
youd have to work, school,and have time for your baby AND yourself or you'll go crazy. how will you be able to work full time to make barely enough to get by? plus do school? plus see your kid and have time for yourself?
if you dont know
then dont have a baby

yep im sure your bf wants to marry you. okay? then what?
he could still break up with you or just split? marriage isnt a thing that lasts forever either. so that doesnt mean a thing
single OR married
you can be a good mom
single OR married you can also be a horrible stressed parent whom cant provide for your child.

jessamyn is right when you think about it. sure it may not apply to everyone, some girls CAN do it young and they do do it young. and sometimes they are better off then most 30 yr olds are. but MOST of the time...you just dont know what youre up against
im almost 8 months pregnant and ive got it all figured out....for now.
im with the father...
i have what i need for both me and my child
yeah one day we say we will get married
but heck anything could happen. what would i do if he left? what would i do if he dies? COULD I take care of kristen by MYSELF.
these were all things i had to think about when we found out i was pregnant and even before then

think
it will get you a very long way in life

I know why you all think what you do. You have concerns, I understand that.
I know its not about cute outfits and the hipest stroller. As for breacking up, we both believe marriage is forever and not something you give up on. The fact that people divorce like its going out of style is redicoulouse. Going into the relationship we both made it clear were not looking for some fling, that we wanted a long term relationship. Every relation ship I had been in before I new I did not want to be with them forever and it was the same with my boy friend and his ex girl friends.
We are not just bf and gf we are best friends and when I first got pregnant we started going to teen couple work shops once a month, and we still go, not becuase we have problems but becuase we like to encourage good comunication skills, etc. I know that may sound corny but we think its good to be able to talk with each other, with out over reacting and all that etc. Cheating can always happen in a relation ship but I dont think it will happen in ours my bf is satisfied with me and I with him.
We also know that having a baby is going to be hard...
Its only a baby for a couple years and thats the easy part, we know that one day it more then likely it will hate us, that is part of growing up. We know they will make mistakes. Thats ok we all do. I have a great relationship with my parents, and I hope to have an even better relationship with my child. My bf Ulises has a horrable relatioship with his parents and he believes as well as me that we learn from our parents/family/and friends mistrakes so that we can do better and be better parents, etc. I hope I have made a good point.
And if my bf Ulises dies I know I would have my family as well as his family to support me and then I would have part of him to keep going.
Thank you all for your input I know you all believe its better for us to wait.
We are not trying to rush, Im not just trying to get pregnant to skeem him into staying with me, he wants the babys just as much as me.

Young girls can be good mothers, i like to think of myself as one of those.
Why the rush? I turned 16 two weeks before i gave birth to my daughter and i'm telling you, you have no idea how hard it is being a mother at 16. Luckily for me in the Uk we finish school at 16 so i don't have that added stress but i was in school until i was 30 weeks and then doing exams from 35-40 weeks, do you have any idea how hard that is?
Do you want to loose all of your friends? I have ONE friend now since i've had Mika, only one who bothered to stick around, do you want to have no friends?
What if you split up with your boyfriend? Nothing is set in stone, you may say you love eachother but you could still break up at anytime, i know that with my boyfriend aswell but i'm hoping that doesn't happen but it still could. What would you do if you did split up and if your friends didn't want anything to do with you?
What if your family disown you?
What if you never get to continue your education?
How will you pay for a baby?
Where will you live?

I agree with Suzy, you need to think long and hard about this. I hope to marry my boyfriend ad father to my daughter but we could still break up one day, think, how many people do you know in their 30's who are still in a relationship with the same person they were with when they were 16?

I know this isnt the same.... but lets say males are 2 years less mature than females.
Youre 16 and trying to get pregnant.


my 18 year old brother wanted to move out of my parents house... sayign he wanted his own life and privacy and space.


so my mom was like fine (knowing he would learn a lesson) she typed out a balance sheet for what he made and what he needed to survive and even with the BARE neccesities. Like rent, toilet paper, food, gas, insurance. NO CELL< NO EXTRAS< NO FUN (which he does have cell, extras fun), he could not afford to live on his own JUSTTTT HIM, not even involving another soul.

she basically stuck it to him that try paying for his insurance on his own and then move up from there...

thats my advice for you.. why dont you try that. NOT relying on your parents for anything, provide a home, insurance, cell phone, car, gas, etc... for yourself!!! even flipping toothpaste... and see where you go from there.

Try living together for a year without a cerfew at home.

^^^^^^^^^^
Tottaly agree! i pay for everything i use at home. I go and buy food for me and Dom, i pay part of the electricity, phone and water bills, i give my mum rent, i buy everything for my daughter, all she gets from my parents are presents like a teddy or an outfit they see in a store and like. I clean my room, i wash mine and Mika's clothes, i wash all my dishes and i cook for myself unless my mum offers if Mika's had a particularly unsettled day

like danni said
youre friends will leave you
they wont care anymore
youll never talk to ANYONE again

so what if you guys THINK marriage is forever
that doesnt change anything
you dont know how to deal witha problem unless it comes at you. so you cant say you can get through anything
you might not
see if you cant think about the what if of t he relationship then you arent raedy for a baby

geez its gotta be hard
i dont have to pay rent right now thank god. but we will soon.
money is tight in the first place
kristen isnt even here yet and shes already expensive lol

I agree that nothing is set in stone.

I was with my boyfriend for 3 years, from the time I was 14-17, we'd been best friends since I was 12. I used to roll my eyes when people would say "oh, you're only 17? it's okay you'll find someone new" i thought we could make it through anything, too, and I'm not going to sit here and say you cant. For all I know you CAN, you guys could be together til you're 80 and I hope you are, we're just trying to prepare you =) good luck in whatever you decide.

The girls are so right. I was with my boyfriend since we were 16. we got married at 18, had our first baby at 20, second at 21.

last year after 6 years together everything went horribly wrong and we split and i am now with someone else and planning a baby with them.

good luck and hope you are one of the ones that make it

I agree with everyone else.When I was 16 I was with a guy for almost 2 years and I was so sure about everything.Things happened and we split up.I was with another guy and we were engaged and once again I thought everything would work out and we broke up.So you see nothing in life is ever guaranteed.You have to be ready for the worst.Some couples grow apart and change and other things happen.You just never know.I mean I would like a baby too but im not going to try and make that happen,because I know im not financially stable and I know that wouldn't be fair to the baby.Your only 16 just enjoy your life right now.You still have so much growing up to do and alot of things to learn.

I have a friend who got pregnant at 16.Her and this guy went out for 2 years and they were so in love and both 16 and they were engaged.Well things didn't work out and they broke up.She had to go to night school.Mostly all of her friends left her and she was basically alone.She is now 18 and lives with her parents and goes to community college and works and takes care of her child.She can't move out because she simply cannot afford to and she can't go out and do alot of the things that her friends do because she has a responsibility.

Some of my friends that also got pregnant at a young age their relationship didn't last and some of them were even married.Now it's really hard on them because they weren't financially ready.

Im 18 and having a hard time just taking care of myself and I don't even have a child.When you first start off on your own it's really hard to make ends meet.I really hope you take into consideration what all of us are saying.Why don't you first try to live on your own and see how that goes it's alot harder than what you think.

Okay I know it feels like everyone is against you but I'm not. I am 17 too and I and ttc it's not even about me and my boyfriend it's all about me. If that's what you feel like you're ready to do then do it. But be sure this decision is one that you can't change. If you don't like it later you can't take it back to the store. And if your sure and you can provide a good life for your child then good luck to you.

im sorry i dont mean to totally like bash on ANYONE. im not trying to be rude, especially to you the girlfriend.

but don't bash what people want down, because you might think your relationship will last forever, but it might not either.

so just, be careful with what you say. i agree with not rushing it, but having sex when your young is rushing anyway.

so, just remember that YOUR GUYS' relationships might not last forever, so don't pressure people into doing things they dont want to do...or not doing something they DO want to do.

sorry i really dont mean to be stupid.

Thank you. We know more than anything this is what we want and we have wanted for a long time. We know having a baby is going to permanent, we are more than happy about it. We know we can be great parents, we know it will be hard and we may mistakes no one is perfect though. mzLiLi good luck ttc.

After we concieve were moving into his grandmothers house. Thiers a room for the baby and room for us. Free housing while we continue to save money. We will be aloud to stay even after the baby is born. We will not have to worry about a good portion of stuff for quite a while. But believe me we will be saving as much money as possable till we can move out. We could move into the house my parents rent out but it would be harder that way because of the extra bills so we will wait on that.

I think you made a good point.

just to add in i never said that me and Dom will be together forever, i did say we intend to marry but that doesn't last forever either look at the divorce rates....