I have the same dissatisfaction too. I think that certain people's skin goes with certain people's skin. Not everybody's skin goes together.

You ladies are so missing the point of sex. Your body is not a machine to be ran. Sex that feels awesome is an experience of two people connecting at a base emotional level not two naked bodies rubbing. Until the desire to share your existence not simply your presence is there the mind will not be fully engaged in the experience.

I realize you will not believe this but, once you feel it remember this post.

Don't wait another 20 years of repeating the same futile exercise in hopes the outcome will be different, it won't. It won't be answered by a Dr, another study or some magical day when the world changes, it will be answered by finding a lover instead of a sex partner.

Talk to your friends that are having the mind blowing sex you're reading about. Don't talk positions, time, talk about the emotional state, before during and after. That is what is lacking. Stop waiting for the the right rub, look for the right connection. Alas, that may not be the cute booty call.

I can speak from experience to tell you that for 30 years of sexual activity I could have been the one to post the opening topic here... I had what I believed to be "great" sex and I have had horrific sex (actually it's not sex, but it's the term used by all). All experiences have had the same outcome; feeling used, thinking about the grocery list during and no orgasm in sight unless I take care of it during.
I have believed I was "broken" or "missing OEM equipment" and have very recently learned I was dead wrong... I have the equipment and it works so well I should be walking around minus my head because it was so mind blowing.
Making Love is the term your all searching for btw... if your looking for mind blowing experiences then leave the sex to porn stars and instead find a man who can touch you without laying a finger on you. If he can connect your head to you body - follow the yellow brick road ladies because that's what you've been looking for. It's ALL about your mental state and has very little to do with how long he is doing something or in what position as that's the frosting, NOT the cake.

Trust me, I know that right now your reading this going - yeah right! Because I was a minister in the church of "it ain't gonna happen" and have seen the "light". You CAN have an orgasm and feel things you thought were impossible if you have a partner who "gets it"...

I am 21 years old and haven't been able to get in the mood for sex, going on 2 years now (that is how old my daughter is going to be on july 29th of this year) it is starting to affect my marriage and I am to the point where even foreplay doesn't work. I am afraid if I can't get back into the mood anytime soon that my marriage is going to end. please help me I am only 21 and I feel like I never want to have sex again.

Did you used to get in the mood before the baby was born?...I mean really want sex...Not play let's pretend but crave his penis?

i have the same problem. i have had sex with 5 different guys and the boyfriend im currently with i love him and ifeel extremely comfortable around him but i still cant feel it. i talked to someone about it once and they thought maybe i was gay and didnt know it but i dont think girl on girl is hot at all and im 100% positive im not gay. but when i was little i was molested do you think that could be why i cant feel anything?

tall_girl
replied 5 hours and 48 minutes ago
New User i have the same problem. i have had sex with 5 different guys and the boyfriend im currently with i love him and ifeel extremely comfortable around him but i still cant feel it. i talked to someone about it once and they thought maybe i was gay and didnt know it but i dont think girl on girl is hot at all and im 100% positive im not gay. but when i was little i was molested do you think that could be why i cant feel anything?

Morning honey--When I was young I was abused by my moms brother this was for years..It started at a time of remmeberance for me around 5 years old-to 9 or 10..I lost alot of memory there as I tirded to hide from it for so long.I found myself hiding under the house in a semi dug out basement floor amongst bugs and anything else down there..I even went to the bathroom under the house..Gradully I brought some of my things down there so when I hid I had a part of sanity there..Other times Ihid in my mms closet behind her clothing.The closet was large and made of slat boards and there was a snall opening in one where I could see enough for protection..I placed clothes in my mouth to keep from crying outloud that no one would hear me where I hid..

I also was told that just maybe I was gay--a friend
and I whom I found out was abused we decided we would be a gay couple..We tried to kiss but nothing there so we just held each other..That's all we really needed..

It took awhile with my husband when we first married to become passionate as there were images Ihad to fight..I told my husband all that happened but never the uncles name..I honeslty beleive he would have hurt or killed him..

The hardest part for me was getting rid of the junk from childhood..I honeslty think when a person holds onto this stuff (not by choice)that it becomes like a cancerous parasited destroying life..

What I did and it took over a year was-each time the thoughts appeared I would have to say I forgive myself and I forgive him..I won't forget but I forgive..The reason I forgave myself is because I blamed myself for a long time for what happened..I thought Imust have done something fo thie to happen to me..I became older than time e sex and I believe it should..I had old men say things to me (like do you know what cum is) and I felt I wore this stygma..So, surely I must be at fault that others see the same thing in me..Right? NO! wrong..I did no wrong..At a very young age I learned about masturbation, how it felt and how to do it..I learned about oral sex and all the other things..

I felt responsible because I learned to enjoy the feeligs and this angered me and scared me..

There is more to my ugly skeleton story..If you need to talk PM by clicking on my emblame..

I hope you see there is better life after all this mess..Sex can be wonderful and very enjoyable..Try to focus on the man you love, if a thought or vision comes into play say no I am enoying this goodness..FIght back honey..kd

hey thanks for replying. its good to know that somebody else out there knows what im going through. its just hard to let all of what happened in the past go. like my brother messed with me, my dad beat me, my great uncle tried to moleste me but i was smarter this time because i was in 7th grade and i didnt let him, just so much stuff happened and i dont have any idea how to let all of that go or if that even is the problem why i cant feel anything when i have sex. do you have any suggestions on how to help me get rid of it?

The only way I was able to let go was to litterally say I forgive (_______) and I forgive myself for beleiving it was my fault..I did this EVERYTIME the thought came to my mind..

Does all this have to do with your lack of sexual desire-probably but ti be safe have a physical, and take it form there..Be honest with your doctor and see what they think as well..I wish you well honey..Do one day at a time and don't give up..

thank you so much for your advice. hopefully it will help

You described everything I experience; except I'm a man.

I am so shocked to find that others share the same problem that i do. I am 20 years old and I have been with 14 guys and i've never had an organsm or even felt pleasure during sex. I know for a fact that it is not a mental thing because i always feel comfortable with my sexual partners and with my body. The only reason I even have sex is because I enjoy pleasing my partner, but isn't fair that I cant get any pleasure out of it! I get very aroused during foreplay but during actual sex I only feel the penis in me and nothing else.HELP!. Also I do not feel pleasure while masterbating or vibrators. I think something is wrong with me.

i have the same problem i used to feel pleaser around 2 years ago but not anymore
it was if someone just turnd it all off
it all seams as if all of us have the same problem

wow this is awesome like everyone is saying! i have the same bullshi problem but i noticed when he hits it from the back (not anal) i at least get to feel some pleasure! try it girls, maybe it will work for you

Wow I have the exact same problem.. I'm so worried theres something wrong with me I want to be like my friends who orgasm and have all these amazing feelings! I just feel like theres this thing inside of me... sometimes it feels like nothings inside of me! I hate this

i was a virgin when i got a boyfriend everything was alright and we got in the momment i thought "oohh wow I'm going to do it and its going to be great" well no it hurt at first but from there now it hasn't hurt but i dont feel anything i feel the pressure and the fingering but thats it i dont feel pleasure but i just keep doing it cuz i like making my buyfriend feel pleasure

same here I feel your pains girls. i am 20 year old. After I had my baby girl i started to feel nothing during intercorse. only when i use a virbrater I can feel pleasure. its not just pressure on my vagina, also I am so dry up and it became painful after awhile. today i just when to see a docter, she can't figure out what is going on; she just said to relax and use a lubrcaid jelly. but I am only 21 i don't want to reli on that stuff. and I just now found out a cupple weeks ago that i am pregnant again without having pleasure making this baby , suck for me that i still have to go throu the pain. hope that one day we will find cure!!!

I Never Knew that There were other women like me, i am 20 and i have been sexually active since i was 17, i have been sooo seriously in the dark about this whole sex thing, all my friends and family members have always talked about sex like it was the most wonderful thing in the world and i still just dont get it. for a long time i thought that this boring waste of time was all there was to sex. Its not fair,i now have a child with my fiance and i never ever even felt more than pain when making her. i'm like this and cant even get any help with answers as to why i am the way i am, i am perfectly healthy, nothings wrong with my female parts, sometines i feel cheated sexualy when i am having sex because all i am there for is to pleasure my partner, the only pleasure i get is through oral sex but i sometimes feel like its not fair for me to ask for it. Why me?? Why Us??

most of you are very young. I am 42 and have had this problem since I was 16 years old and I have had lots of problems I had endimetiosis since then. I have had 2 daughters But I still had the problem. I am just so tired of not feeling anything. I am also on my 4th divorce and this one is because he can not please me and that mad him feel he was raping me. And to tell the truth that is what it feels like. I am afraid to get into another relationship due to my numb vagina. I have had a total historectomy and the ob/gyn said I would feel something after that but no still did not. any good advise that will work is apprciated

I am absolutely amazed at the response to this! And I'm SO happy I'm not alone! I can get off by clitoral stimulation only. Sex does nothing for me, and I have no desire for it. I've been married over 2 years now, and I think we've had sex maybe 10 times. The last time was in November or December of 2008. I masturbate, he masturbates. We do it at different times, and rarely tell each other we have. He works nights and sleeps most of the day. I find it almost a CHORE to kiss him goodnight! I love him, I really do, but I'm not attracted to him anymore. I know it's in my head, because I married him for a reason, but still... I'm 30 years old, and have had no desire to have sex since I got pregnant with my first child in 1999. My true DESIRE to have sex I guess is pro-creation, but I can't have anymore. Anyone else with this specific issue?