Hi, Lovacheeks. It is so nice to know (well not really nice) that you know EXACTLY as I feel. I feel cheated. The situation has always made me extremely upset, but although I feel some peace at knowing there are others like me out there, I also feel even worse. Knowing that so many of us are having this problem and nothing seems to be able to be done.

As you girls probably know it is extremely frustrating to feel absolutely nothing during sex or fingering...i can only reach orgasm through oral and after sex i feel angry that i got nothing out of it while my partner is obviously happy! There has to be a solution to this!

Wow I have the same problem. I am 24 years old and just started having sex with my boyfriend. I cannot feel any pleasure what so ever and it really does bother that he enjoys it and i dont feel anything. THe only way i feel pleasure is by oral it will make me orgasm after a good while though... i feel like i will never enjoy sex. I thought sex was great since my family and friends would say it is. I feel like its going to bring problems in my relationship. I need HELP!! i want to feel the pleaure of sex one day!

Its so wonderful to kno that I am not alone.. I'm TC I'm 18 and I have been sexually active for 2 years.. My first partner was inexperienced as I and so sex was not what I expected.. At first I thought it was just him not being experienced.. However with my second partner who is a bit older than I and very much experienced I still feel no pleasure from penetration.. Today I I asked him if he thinks that we will ever make love or enjoy sex together or if ill ever orgasm through sex and he said with time bla bla bla but it just doesn't feel that way he have tried soo many positions some I sorta feel his dick but no real pleasure.. He is puzzled cause he is saying he feels me.. But that doesn't change the fact that I can't feel him.. Some close to most times I wonder if he is cheating. May be cause I can't satisfy him cause of my "disability".. Sometimes I just feel like a doll that he just screws for pleasure.. Don't get me wrong I love this man and he loves me but I am tired n broken about constantly watching him in his own world fulfilling himself off me and I just have to watch him or the wall and cry he usually asks me if I'm ok or if I'm feeling pain I usually say no but I'm really not but I don't kno how to explain how I feel.. Its not low self esteem or anything I'm totally comfortable with myself but its breakin me apart in so many ways .. I'm tired of wondering and feeling used tired of him cumming and me rolling over and bawling to myself.. Most times afrter sex my belly hurts and I feel so sick.. Someone help me.. I feel like givin up now..!!!!

Its so wonderful to kno that I am not alone.. I'm TC I'm 18 and I have been sexually active for 2 years.. My first partner was inexperienced as I and so sex was not what I expected.. At first I thought it was just him not being experienced.. However with my second partner who is a bit older than I and very much experienced I still feel no pleasure from penetration.. Today I I asked him if he thinks that we will ever make love or enjoy sex together or if ill ever orgasm through sex and he said with time bla bla bla but it just doesn't feel that way he have tried soo many positions some I sorta feel his dick but no real pleasure.. He is puzzled cause he is saying he feels me.. But that doesn't change the fact that I can't feel him.. Some close to most times I wonder if he is cheating. May be cause I can't satisfy him cause of my "disability".. Sometimes I just feel like a doll that he just screws for pleasure.. Don't get me wrong I love this man and he loves me but I am tired n broken about constantly watching him in his own world fulfilling himself off me and I just have to watch him or the wall and cry he usually asks me if I'm ok or if I'm feeling pain I usually say no but I'm really not but I don't kno how to explain how I feel.. Its not low self esteem or anything I'm totally comfortable with myself but its breaking me apart in so many ways .. I'm tired of wondering and feeling used tired of him cumming and me rolling over and bawling to myself.. Most times after sex my belly hurts and I feel so sick.. Someone help me.. I feel like giving up now..!!!!

Hi I am Irene and I am 20. It's so nice to find a group of people who understand exactly my problem. Though unlike some of you, who can still feel please when playing with the clit, I have no pleasure on any part of me whatsoever. No masturbating, no sex, no stimulation from foreplay or different positions. I have never ever felt anything except like someone else mentioned, the pressure if someone pushes against the wall. I have been to many doctors and some of them even had the audacity to ask if a family member had touched me when I was little. Now I am also a very comfortable with my body and the partners I have had, so it definately isn't mental. I feel very cheated and it's hard to explain to partners the situation as many people think I make it up. I now often find sex boring and only enjoy doing it because I enjoy pleasuring my partner. I get jalous of my boyfriend since he is enjoying himself and even get moody after we make love sometimes!!!! I really long to feel pleasure with the man I'm with. Please help me!!!!!!! I am always frustrated during sex.

Hi Irene: How about dirty thoughts....Have you ever thought hot sexual things?....Like real filthy...Say sitting at a bar with a neat guy looking at you and spreading for him while you are commando?...Nice short skirt and freshly shaved....Teasing him...How about laying on the beach in a bikini with one side of the bottom exposing part of your sexual part?...Just hot things...These are the ways to wake up the lust in you...I mean when I am in heat the thought of being taken in the middle of Yankee Stadium with my legs spread is a sexual turn on...It is exploring your mind and your sexual self.....Let your mind run rampant... Kicked the good girl out and let the animal loose?...

I just threw in a thought....Sure shows where my mind is..

Caroline

Hey girls!Me,the same sad story.I can feel orgasm or pleasure during clit masturbation,me on him,doggy,but nothing with fingering or (often)when my fiance is on me,it can be even a bit painful.Emotions can be included,I am quite depressed right now...But the worst of all,he gets minimum pleasure with me either.I start to suspect its simply boring for him.Nevertheless,he loves me very much and wants to marry...I am just afraid,we will never overcome this problem!

Hi,

I find that there are women with this problem (although very few), but no men.

WHen I see this topic on forums, there is always one woman that says: "...until I found the right man", "see your gyn for help", "women take time", or some man that posts "your man can't do it right".

I am a man. I don't seem to have those fallback plans or life preservers.

Now, this is frustrating, depressing, causes anxiety, causes you to feel indifferent to sex, creates a barrier between you and your partner, occupies your mind, worries you for the NEXT time, etc.

It's bad if you have to lay back and focus on what enjoyment isn't there. But imagine you had to please the other partner, remain aroused, be uncomfortable on your hands and knees (missionary), etc? It's no fun having to fake pleasure, but if your pleasure is very visibly NILL, then it makes sex very embarassing and something to avoid. Nerves and anxiety get thrown into the cycle, rinse and repeat.

I'd be willing to say a fair deal of my problem is mental: women have more sensitive organs, more pleasure, longer/more orgasms, clit, vulva, no pressure to perform, relaxed positioning - in my eyes. So I'm "going in" with that mental baggage. But I have to say that a lot IS NOT mental. I actually feel more pleasure scratching my rash than thrusting during sex.

HSDD? I dunno. This has me stuck on forums, depressed all day, anxietystricken, more material for my OCD/obssessive mind. I want to be normal/sexual.

Just thought you might want to hear a man's POV.

i'm gonna start by saying that i'm a non-english speaker,so i apologize for how non fluent and grammatically incorrect my reply could turn out to be.

anyways,
some of you should not underestimate the 'mental' factor. sometimes,the uncounscious could hide many unrevealed fears/discomforts who are keeping you from feeling sexual pleasure and having an orgasm.

I HAD THE SAME PROBLEM TOO! HERE'S HOW I STARTED FEELING ACTUAL PLEASURE!

i think you should all talk about it with your partners. i understand that such problem could bring tension between the two but i also believe that it is not fair for you and your partners to keep this problem a segret. Based from what i have read, most of you are lucky enough to be in a stable relationship and i'm sure that if the relationship is strong enough,you will be able to affront such problem together. as a couple.

sex is not only about feeling immediate pleasure once the penis enters the vagina,it is also about sexual arousal:
do you find your partners attractive enough to get you horny? by 'horny' i dont mean the desperate desire to feel something during intercourse, i mean the actual desire of wanting your partner (him and him only) to be inside you and to feel HIM pleasure you.

AFTER I RATIONALIZED THE PROBLEM I WAS HAVING, I STARTED ASKING MYSELF HOW I WOULD LIKE TO BE PLEASURED AND BY WHOM.

your partner has a primary role during sex. (that's why i recomand you to be honest) also,please remember,he should be sensitive enough to care for you while having sex. i say this because many men have this tendency to take everything for granted once they have started the actual penetration.

it could sound cheesy but unfortunatelly it's true: sex,is an art. it's not about cuming,it's about the couple's physical interaction.

i've lived 6 yrs without being able to feel anything while having sex,but when i had found my currend partner (soon-to-be-husband. yay!),i DECIDED to feel something.

i find my partner extremely attractive. (unlike my exes: i would like them physically,but not enough to say that i could get aroused by them provoking me) and after we had dated for a while,i decided to tell him what was ''wrong'' with me. i dont know why i did it,i knew that there was a very high chance he might not understand,but i had to try. and also,i helped me understand whether he was 'worth it' or not.
surprisingly enough,he has been very supportive and patient about the whole issue.
of course,i did have to reassured him many times about the size of his penis assuring him that it had nothing to do with the size ( i'm eurasian and my exes were all white wherelse my fiancèe is chinese,comparativelly,his penis size is the smallest among all the men i had slept with).

After many various attempts,we had found out what gets me horny (sex toys,videos, sexy games,various kinds of teasing,ect) then,we focused on the physical part of the problem. One of the things my partner does best and has brought successful results in bed is that before he would penetrate me,he would tease me till i could not take it anymore and would ask him to actually be inside me.

i was responsive to him and,while concentrating on my desire to want to feel pleasured,i would tell him what to do and how to move accordingly to how i felt.
it took a while for me to actually feel pleasure while being penetrated. till today,i dont get pleasured just by the penetration but my partner has learned how to successfully arouse me before doing 'it' and now,our sex life is amazing. it's surprising how important is your partner's support,reassurence and patience during sex. especially when you have a problem.

i tried,knowing i would risk to loose the person i loved. but i love myself more and i was ready to do whatever it took to make myself sexually satisfied. are you?


i really hope my reply will help- thank you for your attention.

all the best,
L.

If you're not feeling any pleasure it migt be that you're with the wrong dude. I had a boyfriend for a year and when we had sex I didn't feel a thing. He was well, humping me, and I was more engaged in the TV, or the window than him. But my boyfriend now can really make me feel good. He is my second sexual partner and has been my best friend for years. So that migh be a reason why, the trust between us. Not to mention he is a lot bigger than the ex.

I am a 31 year old woman, who has never had any sexual sensation either with a man or own my own. I have bought toys to test on myself but I feel nothing with these. I have tried playing with my clitoris, I have tired anal sex, I have sleep with 11 man and tried different position, but I feel nothing. I have never had an orgasm and find it very embarrassing when I am with a partner as they tried lost of different things to arouse me but nothing has ever worked. I also feel nothing from kissing. What is wrong with me! I have no issues and would love to feel something, anything at all but all I feel is the same sensation that I would get from touching any other part of my body like my arm. The only reason that I have intercourse is because I like to closeness of being with someone and giving them pleasure, but for me there is nothing. I know that lost of women do not get pleasure from penetration but they still manage to get something by manual stimulation or oral, sadly I get nothing from these too and it�¢ï¿½ï¿½s really upsetting me. I am glad you left your post as it made me feel a bit better.

Thanks

I typed in literally I feel nothing during sex and found this, because really I feel nothing during sex. I'm so glad that I'm not the only one because it took me a while to find other confessions like this. Theres no question about connecting emotionally i've been sexually active since 16 and I'm now 19. I have no desire to have sex anymore, my boyfriend gets mad because I'm never aroused. It's very frustrating I do wish somebody could help us.

So I've been with my boyfriend a little more than a year at first sex was great and it was the best.
But now I don't feel anything. When ever he wants to do it. I don't feel the desire to do it. But when we do, do it, I feel him. I feel his dick, but NO PLESSURE what so ever.
I sometimes fake it just so he won't feel bad about only satisfying himself. It's very upsetting because when we first started having sex, the was so much plessure involved. (he was the first person to actually make me squirt everytime we had sex, and ALOT)

So what could of happen?

Is something wrong with me?
I sometimes think my vagina is probably "lose", and thats why the penetration is not the same.

HELP!
any suggestions!

the problem for me was that I was constantly telling myself I could not feel pleasure from this. By keeping on telling yourself that something is one way, you are never letting it be the other. When I finally relaxed and decided "Yes I CAN orgasm and I WILL", I did. Maybe you should try opening up to the idea of feeling orgasms during penetration.

Apart from that, different positions can be a major help. And some girls just can't orgasm unless they are happy with who they are doing it with, again that is a mental thing. But unless you are physically deformed up there, there is no reason you cannot and shouldnt feel an orgasm if you want to.

there are such people as A-sexuals who simply do not recieve pleasure from sex. Apparently if affects in in 100 people. Men and women.

I'd like to join the club as well. I have noproblem getting turned on by watching videos and stuff...ive evern tried the finger thing while i'm turned on and it doesn't work. The only way I can get off is stimulating the outter regions. My bf is good at that but then he was oral back and I hate doing that. I think I hate that more than anything. I'd rather not do anything then give oral. Lately I've been thinking anyone could be giving him oral its not like hes lookng at my face and knows its me. We only hae sex doggy style so our whole sexual encounter he doesn't see my face. So coupled with the fact that i feel nothing but pressure and i have nothing to look at but a wall that might be counter productive eh?
But I'm with all of you and not feeling anything...

Wow I had the same problem mine lasted for a year and a half, I had no desire to do such things, I didnt enjoy t..

I will come back and finish this.

WoW I had the same problem.

Sounds to me that you ladies are not turned on enough. You may feel aroused, but that's not enough. It's like listening to a radio, some hear at different decibels. They can hear but not to their liking, so they turn it up. It might be just right to you but to them it's not enough.